Hey guys,

So in short, recently I built up the self confidence to finally make moves on girls, and while the confidence was there, my game was completely wrong. I've sort of fallen for this girl in my class, she is many things that I look for in a girl, and we had some great times when we went out.

But I came on too strong, being inexperienced and caught up in "emotional honesty", which was something I was recently trying. Yeah, pretty much failed. She had been hurt in the past, and turned out to be skittish.

So she decided we should be friends for now, which seemed to be somewhat of a conflicted decision for her. That and the fact she seems genuinely still interested in me as a close friend makes me think that it was more my approach that ruined it for me, than the "content of my character" as it were.

She messaged me randomly, apologizing for her reactions, and laid out plans for us to hang in the future.

So my question is this, how do I set myself up to get another shot?

My plan of action is this at the moment, regardless of whether I want another shot, or just to be her friend, I need to create some space between us, I still have an emotional pull towards her that I need to stop and crush. So I'm aiming to keep the distance, not message her, not make the first move to talk to her too often, etc. Let her come to me.

I also aim to learn some PUA and go for some other girls in the meanwhile. Might just put this girl in perspective.

From there though, assuming I still feel the need to either get her or bed her, I'm not quite sure what my game plan would be. And I know a majority of posters will probably tell me just to move on, which I am aiming to do by going for other girls whilst distancing myself. It's just this girl has a look I quite dig, and a personality, and some other, more private aspects I find quite enticing.

Also, it would be a awesome achievement.

I'm pretty inexperienced, and a virgin. I need to learn how to come across as "love wise" and able to led a woman. That is her turn on.

So guys, what would your advice be for either, avoiding this situation in the future, stopping "falling hard", and finally, coming back from coming on too strong.

Thanks gents.

better yourself,gain social proof,become the best at something(a sport,chess dance music art are all good hobbies to pick up they make you intresting),act aloof ,practice game,game some hot girls make sure she finds out about it 'accidently're open with good game makes sure you dont look like a try hard or anything like that dont talk about your feelings,have alpha male body language tone speech practice it(take example from alphas in the movies james bond geroge cloney etc) dedicate yourself to it and do it without seeming like a try hard beta,dont start tomorrow dont start next week start now!

That's inline with what I'm thinking of doing.

The way I see it, without having gotten into PUA just yet, is that it's all about power, being powerful, and appearing powerful, regardless of what's going on internally. When I went for her, I perceived power as being emotionally open, and now I see it as something different, more "social proof" etc.

Any recommendations on where to start working on this?

Mate first of all let me tell you this. You don't know too much about this girl. Hell you haven't even had sex with her. So please stop thinking that she is many things you look for in a girl. Don't think she is special, she is not. She is just a girl.
Now I don't really know what do you mean by emotional honesty. I really hope that you didn't tell her you like her. In order for you to get emotionally detached from her you will have to find another girl(s).
What happened with this one ? Did you ask her out ? Did she say no ? Did you try to kiss her ? Finger her ?
A little more information would be helpful I guess.
If you want to learn how to come across as "love wise", well you have to get experience. Not from books. You need to actually pick up and fuck girls. How old are you ?

To give you some background on me, I'm a bit of a late bloomer. ( Being 20, I also still live at home, far from relatively my university, due to fiscal reasons that can change next year).

I've always been quite "beta" and insecure, and I've often fallen for girls to fast, and too hard. I've never really had the confidence to go for them, rather ending up putting myself firmly in the friend with feelings zone, and now that I do have that confidence, I find that my game is wack. I started working on self improvement though, and recently built up the confidence to start making moves with women.

Thing is, I've always perceived women to be "gentle flower" to be spoken deeply to, romantic gestures etc.

I now know that the above will not ever work in the real world. This is sort of my attempt to start improving this part of my life, now that I'm already working on the musical, the physical, and the professional.

I asked her out on a few dates, and we went out and had quite a rad time. Yeah, I complimented her way too much, and I generally just laid it on too thick, too fast. Called her beautiful etc, was honest about my thoughts and being into her.

I now realize that there is a time and a place for such talk, and that wasn't it. Not at all.

I really don't want to make those mistakes in the future, and I really want to sort out my head in regards to placing too much value in specific women. So that's why I'm here.

I'm here to stop doing what I've been doing.

Your right, she is just a girl. I just need my mind to recognize that.

I have another target going at the moment, but I don't feel much draw to her. I am pursuing it regardless though.

EDIT - Also, she is damn fine. And I'm pretty sure she is down to fuck if I can recover and play my cards right.