So I picked up my first virgin and I don't really know what to do about the situation.

She's kinda cute and very shy, maybe a 7.5 but she has a hot body. She hinted that she had had sex with a previous boyfriend so I assumed she wasn't a virgin. Anyway, she came to my apartment the other morning and we were in bed fooling around, there was some LMR regarding her letting me finger her which I moved through comfortably.

Anyway, after pleasuring her for a while I went to get a condom and she seemed a little apprehensive and then said "I've never done it before."

This shut me down and I stopped escalation and we just cuddled.

Am I being too "nice" about this? I just had this idea that losing her virginity was a big thing to her and I really don't think I should be the person to take it from her since I am not really signed up for commitment with any girl right now.

Can you take a girl's virginity without her being super attached? I just feel like if I take it then maybe I've got to stick around you know. Thoughts?

She texted me later saying "I think I'm ready, I am just a little scared about doing it"

I'd be straight about it and text back: "Are you allright with doing it while not being in a relationship?" or at least have some converstation about it in which you state that you like to hang out but are not willing to commit. She might not want it, but with a virgin I do think you should be open about your intentions. Leave her better than you found her.

been in same situation with similar type girl & got the lay
(bit of a big read, but worth it)

I told her to stay over (just sleep) to get her in her underwear. then kept escalating & stopping pretty much all night until the sun came up. dry humping exposed erection against her panties, then saying we should stop.
she was on the pill so I was able to go bareback after stopping and starting so many times.
first I said "im just going to rub it against the outside", but would put it in a tiny bit, more and more till it was happening.

after it was kinda in I would get "LMR" just because she was in pain.

but the point is escalate and stop all night until she cant handle it. you could still put the condom on and say you just want to rub it on the outside I suppose, but it would be easier if u just went bareback and gave her the morning after pill. (assuming your clean!!)

Yes, yes you can do this. I have done it. Virgins are a lot of the time sexually repressed, because they have not come to experience their sexuality yet. So you focus on this. Be a normal cool guy, but very sexual. Let her know she can trust you but keep your sexual frame my friend. Keep it and stay strong with it. She probably has the deep urge to have sex, and so if you are that sexual guy, she can see you as the guy she can have sex with.

Bring up relationship talk. Get talking mutually about relationships and what you think of them. I worded it something like "I had a conversation with a friend about relationships (which I really did), and we got talking about when you define someone as your girlfriend or boyfriend. I told him it has to be a mutual understanding between the two, I also told him that sex is a very important part. My conclusion was that it has to be a sexual relationship where both partners know what it's about and they understand they are in an exclusive relationship."

This frames and shapes it so that you will never be boyfriend/girlfriend unless you both understand it as such. You could even throw in the word "verbal" there, so you say it has to be spoken aloud to be understood, not just felt.

Be sexual and frame it as such and continue spending time with her and trusting each other, and sooner or later it will happen and she should know what it's about.

Good luck!

I'm not worried about getting the lay, it'll be a piece of cake.

I am worried about her getting crazily attached and getting hurt when I can't return that.

She called me tonight, I didn't answer, then she texted me saying "I wanted to say something to you thats a little strong and I hate saying things like this over text"

So I said "Don't say anything crazy, we haven't known each other long"

She replied; "fine"

But she is drunk right now so...

Okay, she is telling me that her feelings are too strong for me now...

...Time to let this one go, she'd only end up hurt.

Props to give her up. Not many guys can do that. I was in the same situation last month, but I decided to let her go. Haha maybe it is the disadvantages of being a nice guy lol

We've talked more and I told her that right now I am not really in any situation where I can commit to someone, but she still said she wants me to take her virginity because she trusts me and is ready.

But I still don't think I can do it, it's a big deal for girls right?

Are you a decent guy? Are you going to be respectful afterwards? Then take it. It's more important that it's taken by someone trustworthy than someone she's in a relationship with, in my opinion. You've been honest with her and she wants it. You never know how the next guy is going to treat her.

I am a decent guy and respectful, I like to think. She came over tonight and we had a really nice time together and I took it and I was gentle and we cuddled for a long time after, she said she doesn't really want a serious relationship until she gets through her studies anyway.