How does one fight social awkwardness?



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PostPosted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 2:20 am 
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So aside from difficulties with the approach, my biggest problem becomes the typical freeze, long pause and uncomfortable silence.

but lets not talk about that, lets assume I made my approach, and started a decent conversation.

What I mean is, I might then start doing weird "nervous ticks". I might start touching my hair too much, I might start rubbing my neck, or something as simple as blinking too fast, not making eye contact, making too much eye contact, or answering too quickly.

I can say a good chunk of my approaches tend to make me feel like a creeper or an idiot. I just have this zone of awkwardness ooze out of me at parties or local gatherings.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 8:36 am 
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In terms of game, have a set routine that you've tested and are confident in using.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 3:28 pm 
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In my experience 3 things help the most:

1. Smile
2. Confident body language- look people in the eye when you are talking to them or they are talking to you. Take a note of what eye color they have. Stand up tall and straight. No slouching.
3. High energy. Whenever you walk into a social situation, gauge the energy of the room on a scale of 1-10. Than be 2 higher than that. If the energy of the room is about a 5, be a 7. Always have more energy than your friends and people will be drawn to you.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 3:55 pm 
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While you are still learning to approach try to keep it simple. You probably won't get a lot of numbers, but keep in mind that it is just practice. Use this frame: open, number close, run like hell. Open: "I really like your style. I'm looking for [whatever store you were heading to anyway], do you know where is?" Number close: "I need to run, but can I have your number so we can grab a drink and get to know each other?". Run. :)

After you do this a number of times you'll get more comfortable, then you can start making longer conversations. When you get to this point, try to reframe your thinking a bit. If you have the confidence to approach and the girl starts talking to you, then you are past the scariest part. If a girl is there, talking to you, you really don't have that much to worry about. She has shown a huge IOI.

I'm going to take this opportunity to mention something I've been thinking about lately (lucky you).

If you are a confident man there is something you should notice. What is it? It's that 90% of what women talk about is SUPER BORING. They are horrible, the whole lot of them. They just talk and talk and talk. They are so boring that if you let them decide what to talk about they even bore themselves. They'll tell you the same story they told all of their other friends, or will tell all their other friends. That's why boring guys get friend zoned. They tell their stupid stories to so many people they can't even differentiate who they are talking to.

Being a nice guy and listening to this is my definition of torture. No wonder we call it AFC. Sitting there thinking about having sex with some girl while she goes on and on and on. Somebody please shoot me.

When you have plenty of girls in your life, you really lose patience for these kind of conversations. What happens is that out of sheer boredom you start to make fun of the girl. You're so bored you have no choice. You know it's the 37th time she has told the story and you take the conversation into an interesting place. This is done purely to survive.

So a new girl comes along. She asks you what you do and you are ready to fall asleep. Because you are so used to how boring girls are you just start playing around, because there is no way you are going to seriously answer that question.

Finally, to come around to making my point. All of this nervousness will go away as soon as you stop worrying about what you are going to say next and start being more concerned with what she says. Answer whatever you want, it literally doesn't matter, just do whatever you can to avoid the boredom of these interactions.

You: How are you?
Her: Fine.
You: Gosh you are forward. You think my ass is fine?

You: Where are you from?
Her: Cambodia.
You: Do you run a sweatshop? I wanted to find a really cheap place to manufacture some dynamite.

If that's too forward, then just make less forward remarks.

The point being: girls are boring, don't fall into their snare.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 9:35 pm 
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I had the same problem, still kind of do. But when i open a set i make a consious effort to fill in those silences. Its good that you notice it, that means you can fix it. So when you feel the awkwardness, just ask a question or what ever you figure out works.
Also try not to fidget. Part of the practice you need is to practice not fidgeting, be consious of it.

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