Ok, so this girl I've known for years recently told my buddy at the bar that she thinks I'm cute. I decided to pursue her by starting to text her. We talked every couple days for almost 3 weeks before I asked her out. I hated doing it over texts but we never hung out at the time. She answered by asking what I had in mind and I told her I want something like a dinner/movie or just a couple drinks. She said ok and then few days later, during the weekend she got ahold of me Saturday night. I picked her up at the party and we ended up at her place. She was too drunk and we just kissed but the next morning (Sunday) we had sex. Everything went awesome and there was tons of affection. I ended up telling her I'm interested in dating her and on Tuesday we went to a movie together where we kissed and held hands. Again, things went awesome and I didn't see her this last weekend due to being out of town, but I kept up with her.

Now, what I'm confused about is that most of the time I'm the one initiating out conversations and she doesn't seem like she wants to hang out as much as I do. Yesterday, 6 days after our date I asked what she's up to and that I wanted to have a drink and watch a movie, her house or mine. She replied that she's heading to the grocery store and she will text me after, but she hasn't. It's now next day and still nothing!

Is it wrong of me to expect more frequent handouts between us this early? Should I text her back or just leave it alone for a bit? We are both in our mid to late 20s.

Usually in this situation I could care less and move on. But this girl seems like good dating material and I haven't had a serious relationship in a while. I'm scared of fucking things up this early between us.

I'm positive she's interested in me and the fact that we slept together while sober.

Please give me your opinion!

Stop texting her, stop all contact with her. Let her chase you a bit. Don't make the mistake of thinking no contact for a day means she's fucking someone else. Committing to one guy is a big deal. Give her space. .

I agree with Hunter here.


Also, the only thing I think you did wrong was -
It is a woman place to reach for the attention and affection. It is the man place to show her attention and affection once she has asked for it. This keeps her chasing and you in control. I understand you wanted a relationship with her, but you should not have discussed it until she brought it up.

You're right, but I figured this time I'd take the innitiative. Put it all out and see what happens. And we went on a date AFTER the fact so I figured she felt roughly the same. I never had a problem with rejection, it's when girls play games that I get confused. I tell girls when I'm not interested so I thought they could do the same.

This your to available man and that turns chicks off quick, game other girls and make her chase you, don't get oneitis over this one girl

It's been 3 days now and still no reply. I presume this girl isn't interested in me. What bothers me somewhat is that she choose not replying instead of just telling me she's not interested.

Should I just drop all contact with her?

What part of "give her some fucking space" don't you understand? Just because it's been a few day doesn't mean she isn't interested. She's got a life to live and for now, it doesn't revolve around you. Wait for her to contact you. Just relax.

She actually messaged me today. Told me shes bad at this whole thing and apologized for being flaky. She said she things highly of me but doesn't really see us going anywhere "dating wise" and then apologized.

What should I say?

The No Contact technique only works if you stick to it. If (and I stress if) you can stick to no contact and truly ignore her then that is your best plan. Send her a message back saying that you understand and wish her all the best for the future. If she tries to make friends, politely decline and say you cannot see her as a friend and could only ever see her as a lover, hence no friendship. Don't make the mistake of trying no contact for a short time then giving in to your desperate urge to hear from her again or she will know you were bluffing with the no contact. Even if you know for a fact that another guy is fucking her brains out. Be strong and she will respect you for it. Right now she thinks you are a needy clingy guy who won't leave her alone. Shock her by doing the opposite. Sleep with other girls, get over her. Then if she comes back, play it cool, act busy, like you dont care. Your work and your own life should always be your priority, girls are a bonus. It's life itself that should make you happy, a nice girl just makes you happier.

A word of advice to avoid future fuckups: if you're having sex with a girl, never be the first one to suggest a relationship and dont spend too much time with her and dont contact her too often in the early stages or you will scare her off. Wait for her to at least reciprocate your attention and imply she wants to be your girlfriend before making that move.