Just a silly question, really.

Something I pride myself in when it comes to chicks is that I am always honest with them - if something could only ever be casual, I tell them straight up, if I am not interested, I tell them that too. Maybe it's not a PUA thing to be honest, but it's part of my character.

However experience has taught me that a woman will rarely, if ever, ever tell you that they flat out are not interested, if they have even the slightest attraction to you. And if they do tell you they aren't interested, they will never tell you the real reason -WHY-.

I think it's a ridiculously bad idea to get 'feedback' on what goes wrong when things go wrong, as it'll more than likely just be a nice lie anyway so I am asking here. Because right now, I am trying to set up a second date with a chick who had basically organised something with me for Friday, but has now given me a seriously negative vibe in a text session she stopped replying to.

So - basically I am already expecting a flake. I recognise the signs already. This time though... just kind of want a bit of advice on how to respond if you're getting that vibe. Pull the plug quickly? Stop chasing entirely? That's pretty much what I am going to do because I don't think I'll have any contact with her from now on until the day, and from then forevermore. She won't be honest, she won't lie, instead, she just won't say anything at all. And I am not daft enough to fall for it again and carry on the chase.

Thoughts?

Break off any contact. Send her a text saying: "If you're ready for me, you know where I am."

The thing about socializing is that most of it is indirect, especially with women. Their actions will tell you how they feel (or don't feel) and its up to you to not be a social idiot and realize this. Human behaviors are not rational, their a mix of emotions and intuition. There is a small sprinkle of rationality in our behaviors, but if I had to give it a number its about 95% intuition.

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Women are indirect; they don't like confrontation. Out in the wild, a cavewoman who rejected a man's advances could potentially have been raped or killed. So it's in their nature to be less direct. They also like to get male attention to improve their chances with other men and to get street cred from other women.

Yes, and also, a woman doesn't KNOW for SURE if you're not the right guy yet. She's not just going to love you for a second, you need to PROVE it and that takes time and commitment. In other words, she hasn't made up her mind yet. She doesn't know herself, so she leaves that door open. Maybe you'll win the lottery....she never knows.

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Bit of an update: She DID end up getting in touch with me, and we met up at a bar and had our second date and had a good time, got on really well, had a few drinks, and then I walked her to the train station and before she left we kissed for a minute or so, properly, not a crappy peck on the lips. I thought "okay, cool, this has gone even better than I thought!" but she didn't text me or call me on the way home. Found that a -little- strange, but just figured her phone might have died, or she was just really tired or something.

But she text me the next morning said "I don't want to lead you on, you're not the one for me.".

I was kind of crushed, but she WAS honest and I have to say, kudos to her and respect for being forthright, if something isn't right, it isn't right.

One thing it did teach me though was to trust my instincts a bit more. I think she already knew that she wasn't that interested in me before she met me, but was giving me a chance to change her mind. I guess I failed in the end.
This is very clever, and true of most women though. Very good point.
Yup. Guess she knows for sure now

I'll just have to keep buying those lottery tickets and one of them will finally be a winner. Starting this Saturday. For now though I am going to wallow in misery for a bit, not quite ready to get back out there, this one hit me pretty hard.