| so i've joined this forum a couple of months ago, and i see a recurring problem in a lot of guys here. the best part is that we are all guilty of this: oneitis.
you know you have oneitis if:
- you are asking stuff about one particular girl: you know you've fucked up, but you still want to fix it, and you do not know how, or even if you can fix it. you hope you can, so you ask here, but lets face it, even though with your emotional brain you dont get it, with your logical brain you do get it: its not happening.
let me be more specific. for example, a generic question:
"hey guys, so im gaming this chick in my class, she seems interested in me but i asked her out and she didnt answer on facebook/the txt, the next thay things were a bit wierd but she smiles at me all the time and my friends have asked her, she sais she loves me but cant see me as more than a friend.
so the other day i tried to kiss her and she said she couldnt, but i know she wants to.
any suggestions?"
haha im exageratin but in most cases i can see you guys telling us she has regected you once. and she's from your social circle most of the times.
SOCIAL CIRCLE rejections
this is the most usual type or rejections i see on people's posts.
the thing with social circle game is that even though she might like you, if you have low social value in that circle, her social value lowers by being with you. she has to confront her friends and be like i dont give a fuck what you guys think, he's awesome.
for that to happen you have to be AWESOME AS FUCK, and even then the girl has to be awesome as well and have independent thinking well developed, and those girls are rare to find. specially when young, like in highschool, the cool girls usually dont have independent thinking well developed and base their identity in the group they hang out with, so if by hooking up with you she has to challenge her own identity, thats usually not gonna happen.
Being AWESOME AS FUCK.
transition from the looser to the winner on social settings:
how to increase you social value in closed settings, such as small towns, comunnities, highschool, college and more. (the younger the better)
im going to asume that you're not the social leader of that group for this post, maybe later i can post about becoming awesome as fuck in other types of social positions.
so lets say you are the guy that's not on the "cool kids crew", more specifically, the looser. you need to get the fuck out of that position.
growing up i only saw 1 case of a guy breaking out of the "looser" character. in highschool and even college, people are categoriced as you all might already know, and breaking out of that cathegory takes some fucking life shifting changes. this is inner game, but it can be triggered by outer lifestyle changes
you need to change the very core of what you consider yourself to be. not only get out of your confort zone, expand it or whatever, shifting it absolutely.
for my friend, this was cathalized by 2 things:
1)SPORTS
he started playing rugby. you need to choose a team sport, and choose it wisely. The one you should choose is the obvious one. the one your social enviroment loves the most, the one were the cool kids play. if you live in new york, pleace dont play something wierd like javalin thowing, play basquetball or football for example. dont be afraid of going mainstream on this one.
here in argentina you have two main sports: rugby, wich is the upper middle class must play for every argentinien, and soccer, wich everyone plays equally but is more like for the masses. so by playing rugby he entered the core social elite of the upper middle class here. in my city, upper middle class people are like a gigantic social group, and every single person you meet will probably know someone you know, if they live in the north part of the city.
so choose the mainstream male sport of your area and start playing it as soon as you can, in a local sports club. this is absolutely key! believe me i neglected to do this and it made my life so much harder, just cuz i didnt want to be mainstream.
2)FEMALE ACCEPTANCE
the second brilliant thing he did was that with the new confidence he gained from sports, he was able to befriend all the girls, and make them love the new him. girls will gladly accept the new you, if you make them feel beautiful, safe, loved and apreciated, without hitting on them. this is absolutely key too. learn to make people in general feel good when they're with you. avoid being wierd and direct. if you wanna make a girl feel beautiful dont say you are beautiful, say "that (whatever) looks nice on you", "you look nice today" and smile. dont forget to smile!
make them feel safe and loved by LISTENING VERY CLOSELY to what she says. dont interrupt and stuff.
befriend the HOLE social group of girls, show interest in their interests, etc. to get good at this, there is an extremly awesome book by dale carnegie called how to make friends and influence people, that is oriented to business but is just golden for pua social-group. befriend the hole group and pay special atention to the group your target girl is in. pay attention to her too, but just as much as the other girls, maybe even a little less.
by doing this 2 things you will elevate your social value. by now be quick to befriend the coolest kids in school too, and if you can bring your old friends(as many as you can, maybe that will be 1, maybe non) with you. elevate their social value and they'll love you for that. those are the most reliable friends you'll ever have. believe me, not everyone will accept you social value change, friends in the new social group(the cool kids) will be very flakey at first, untill you settle yourself in your new social position, so bring all the friends you can with you on this journey. be smart though, your old friends might not wanna change. if they do not change with you, they will stop you from advancing, lowering your value by asociation. be smart about who you keep in your life. DO NOT CONFRONT anyone though. avoid talking trash about anyone. ever.
be loved by as many people as you can, and sooner than later you'll be what can be called popular.
when you get on top, then you can start gameing girls, you'll notice girls game you too, and thats a hole different game. flirt with a few girls, but dont be a player. when you're on top, if you hookup with every girl you become the easy guy, and then you're not such a challenge, so girls loose interest. you should go for the girlfriend thing.
maybe then you can game your girl, if you still want to.
its important to have both sports and female acceptance! many of my friends played rugby, but only one managed to get female acceptance from all the girls. mainstream sportclubs are key too, if you dont live in america, where sports are played at school., its not the same to play at SIC than to play at some small sportsclub in Tigre. be careful with that too. SIC, CASI, for example are all the better. never to mention the partys and stuff!!)
it doesnt matter if you are not the best!! just be sure to be improving all the time, that will boost your selfesteem!.
hope this helps. if i get good feedback i'll be posting part 2: club girl rejections. i felt there is not enough spoken about social circle in our community.
Owen _________________ There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
Blog:
http://selfdevelopmentpua.blogspot.com.ar/
Twitter:
@projectbsas
Email for free, anonymous private advice:
projectbuenosaires2013@gmail.com
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