So long story short, a couple months ago I had a date with an HB9 from OKC. My age (we're both 29), many similar interests, a native Russian who has a PhD in psychology and works full time at the local VA hospital. Quite a change from my usual scene. She's also an admitted Histrionic, and knows I have PTSD. The date itself went pretty well I thought, and two days after she texted me telling me that she had fun. After that, communication went to shit, couldn't even start a conversation or invite her out because she either stopped responding or wouldn't reply to messages for several days. I took it as a loss of interest and moved on.

Well, I was redoing my profile today and also stumbled across the "interesting texts" topic on here. So I decided to send her a message via OKC saying this:

"Just wanted to say I liked talking to you and I don't play games. I think we get along really well. Let's make plans again, and if not that's cool, it was good to meet you regardless.

~Smash"

And within an hour, I got this reply:

"Hey Smash, I really enjoyed our time together and I was very confused about your subsequent behavior. To me, that's the essense of playing games. The way I do relationship is: we meet, we like each other, we spent more time to get to know each other better and learn if we really fit and have chemistry. If I feel like you are playing a game I lose interest. I'm at a stage of my life where I want to deal with mature people who are secure in themselves and not scared of showing themselves to another person, being vulnerable, emotionally honest. At the point that you are at I think you might be better off dealing with young undergrad girls who still fall for "unpredictable", "wating 3 days" and other cheap tricks. If you have problem with getting close to people for reasons like fear of rejection, fear of emotional engulfment and so on, I would advise you to work on these issues in psychotherapy. "

I have drafted a response, but after reading it, it seems a bit winded and probably too reactive. I'll post that too, for details sake. Keep in mind, I HAVE NOT SENT IT.

"I agree with much of what you just said. Likewise, it seemed you were playing games, as when I tried texting and even calling and you rarely responded. When I get the impression that a woman is "dangling a carrot" by doing stuff like this, I lose interest. Also, I don't play "waiting 3 days" tricks, I'm generally quite busy balancing schoolwork, volunteer work, and a social life. This whole "online dating" thing is a bit awkward for me. I appreciate your honesty, and it still seems to me that the only real problem here is a communication barrier. You and I are both of the generation where we shouldn't have problems calling each other, and being direct about what we want. I'm on this site mainly because I do grow tired of those young undergrad girls, the games, and so forth. I also like to be warned before I meet somebody's parents - it was especially strange that I met your mother before I even met you, I have to admit. In case you were wondering, I wasn't going to kiss you when your parents kept looking in! That's just disrespectful in my book.

That all being said, I really did enjoy our little outing. There's a bit of distance, but you can really hold a conversation and I think we could definitely have a good connection. Not to mention, it's good you finally put some more flattering pictures up, because your original ones definitely didn't do you justice. Anyways, can't let communication problems spoil a good opportunity to add more awesome people to your life!

Which begs the question, was your reply a soft rejection or a "yes, let's make plans again"? I have spring break next week, and some free time to kill if you're willing. "

To be honest, after the original date my train of thought was "wow, I haven't been interested in any woman in almost a year" so I'd really like to salvage this if at all possible. I can't tell if her response is a soft rejection, but I think no response would have sent that message just fine. What really irks me about it is that she accuses me of doing EXACTLY what she did - I can link the previous topic I made regarding her if needed. As I said, she would wait days to reply to my messages if at all, didn't acknowledge my phone call, and during our last "conversation" she suggested "better u come here " and I replied it was her turn, and she went cold again. Any suggestions very much welcome and appreciated.


[note: I moved this from the Online Sarging forum, cause it's fairly dead over there.]