Challenges to keep myself from ejecting



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PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2013 5:25 pm 
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Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2011 5:40 pm
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Ok, so my problem now is that I can open fine (I'm actually renowned among male friends for my opening ability, when I make myself do it, and I've gotten compliments from guys in the club on how I effortlessly will open a group of say, 1-4 girls).

I'm getting better at conversation (just say a bunch of funny bullshit and things the girl will feel connected to). I'm not great at this, but there is definite improvement.

So, I'm hooking girls, I'm being funny enough for the girl to talk to at least for a bit, frequently they're even kinoing me (I had this super hot girl - I'd rate her at a 9 or a 10, kinoing me after I called her a trashy whore in a joking manner, and laughed at her), but I eject myself from the conversation.

It's a combination of nervousness, fear I won't have anything to say (which becomes a reality frequently enough) and fearing the loss of validation from having a hot girl who was interested, suddenly lack interest.

How do I get over this? I could have numbered closed the super hot girl the other night, or possibly more - and I didn't do anything. I can get numbers ok, but typically when I'm drunk and thus less self conscious. I want to get good at sober gaming though (healthier, cheaper, more applicable to real life).


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2013 6:06 pm 
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I think the fact that you do well when you are drunk, but not when you are sober is very telling. You mention nervousness and fear as a prime motivators, fear of losing interest, fear of running out of things to say. These things are leaves on the same tree: fear of failure. And it implies that your well-being is dependent on the outcome of the interaction.

Once you admit this to yourself, you can change it. Allow yourself to relax, give yourself permission to leave, and reframe talking to girls not as 'trying to pick them up', but as 'having fun with them'. This will give you control over your assessment of success: if you are having fun, then great, if you are not, then leave. Thus you gain control over failure and success, and there is no reason to fear either. Doing so will free up the mental energy you spent worrying to actually have fun. So giving yourself permission to leave when you run out of things to say, will, paradoxically, help you avoid not having anything to say.

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One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2013 6:22 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 09, 2012 9:28 pm
Posts: 283
It's simple ...

When you feel like you are running out of things to say ... or have that awkward moment about to happen ... don't leave ... it's time to Lead.

When you feel that need to leave ... grab her hand and bounce her somewhere else. Even if it's like 2 feet away ... to the bar ... to somewhere quiete ... just lead her.

The cool thing is when you lead ... you convey you are a leader ... new scenery, new people and new things to say or do ...

Consider spinning plates on a stick. You open the girl (value slap her) ... and you get the plates spinning. As you start to run of things to say or you have the urge to leave ... this is the plates faltering ... if you want to keep the plates spinning ... just lead her somewhere else ^_^.

Try it out your game will improved tremediously .... and just lead ... no need an excuse (u can make a random excuse if you want) ... no need to find signs if she is willing to follow ... just tell her ... "Let's go over" ..

Summary ... When you have an urge to leave ... don't leave ... lead ^_^

Boom ... your welcome

ku ku ku


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 01, 2013 3:10 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 09, 2012 9:28 pm
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Quote:
I think the fact that you do well when you are drunk, but not when you are sober is very telling. You mention nervousness and fear as a prime motivators, fear of losing interest, fear of running out of things to say. These things are leaves on the same tree: fear of failure. And it implies that your well-being is dependent on the outcome of the interaction.

Once you admit this to yourself, you can change it. Allow yourself to relax, give yourself permission to leave, and reframe talking to girls not as 'trying to pick them up', but as 'having fun with them'. This will give you control over your assessment of success: if you are having fun, then great, if you are not, then leave. Thus you gain control over failure and success, and there is no reason to fear either. Doing so will free up the mental energy you spent worrying to actually have fun. So giving yourself permission to leave when you run out of things to say, will, paradoxically, help you avoid not having anything to say.

I love it! The mind set of I am having fun is super key! But, I will like to add the other mind set of "I am awesome". The other thing that you are leaving is because you can't believe that a girl that hot is in to you. You must continuously find ways why you are awesome.

So when negative thoughts enter your head ... immediately cut it out and ask yourself why am I awesome?
Example ... Negative thought "Oh, no way a girl this hot could be into me. I better leave on a good note."
- Before that negative thought enters, cut it out ... Same negative thought enters your head .... "Oh, no gi[cut]" ... positive reframe to .. "Why am I awesome? I'm fucking awesome because I'm out gaming, moving towards my goals of abundance of women." ....

The reason why you should do this because it pumps yours state up internally not externally (ex: making girl life).

Summary ... be conscience of negative thoughts ... cut them out at lightning speed that you don't even recognize the thought ... replace it with why you are awesome.

Then add the mindset of "I am having fun" ... be continuously be thinking this all day ... before game ... during you interactions ... And you will feel this aura that attracts everyone.

Game is all about self generating positive emotions ... you feel good the people around you will feel good. Don't smile to get specific reaction from people ... instead, generate good emotions from within that causes you to smile. That how how you will attract people.

PS ... the next advance mind set is "You are a nympho ... and you want to fuck me." .... ku ku ku good luck!


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 01, 2013 7:38 pm 
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Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2011 5:40 pm
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Getting there.

I went out last night, did pretty well. My buddy kept pushing me to # close - if he hadn't, I would have only gotten two numbers. Instead I got four (including one of the least likely to flake girls, and by far the hottest).

I'm rarely getting ONS, typically if I get a girl back she's maybe a 4, and I get LMR. I think I'm getting past that bottleneck though.

Just have to keep practicing.


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