I don't understand. I'm seen as the guy who's funny, fun and always up for being active but i cannot be taken serious by some people? In groups with my colleges it just feels that my say means nothing and will normally get some sort of shut-off response which leaves me just standing there... This situation also came across when i was at a bar/club with a friend who's REALLY desperate but still seems to get girls attention where as i'd be given a more friendly response?? I tried to overcome this situation by trying to escalate it more when interacting with girls but seem to feel uncomfortable and come off as a bit freaky... Am i just being seen as 'a joke'?

Been there.

No one likes a tag along. Be a leader, not a follower. Coach a sports team, throw a party, go do something where you are in charge or competing. That gains respect.

Everything changes when you are THE BOSS. Plus that's way more attractive to women.

_________________
What you sow is what you reap

I'm normally a leader, I throw parties in my house often and am the organiser inside my friendship group when going out. I'm starting to think maybe its because i'm not DHV to these girls. Any help on this?

pretty much correct


Your problem is your the low-status, facilitating, nice guy. This is the guy everyone gets along with when its convenient but makes no real serious impression, and garners no real respect. No one dislikes you but most people don't give 2 shits about you when push comes to shove. Your also the first guy to be disrespected and flaked on. As many here will say, been there, done that, not going back.

The truth is you are going to have to adopt high status behavior to garner the respect you want, and that means saying no a lot more, not being funny, smiling, and joking (to start at least), and basically being more of an asshole.

thats the super short, somewhat unhelpful answer.