Alright, so I've thrown myself out there on OKCupid for the last 7 months or so, figured why not. So far all of my bites have been real meh (chubs, borings, single moms) but finally got a decent tonight. So naturally, the AFC section of my brain is paranoid about fucking it up.

So a couple weeks ago, this 29 y/o HB9 hits me up, some Russian girl moved to Brooklyn 4 years ago to get her PhD in Psychology, and just got a job at the VA in my area counseling vets. While that's my career path as well, I figure there's gotta be some catch with this chick (photo master, batshit crazy, etc) but lo and behold she's pretty damn awesome so far. Let me walk ya through it...

I text invite her to coffee in the VA town after she gets out of work. She confirms the time. I show up today, but she's already went home (20 minutes away) saying she wasn't sure we were meeting b/c I didn't confirm. I tell her I'm heading back to my town (40 minutes, other direction) and she can swing by if she wants. Then she suggests just picking her up at home and we can get coffee in her town. I hesitantly agree - I mean, fuck it, already drove 40 whats another 20? Plus, you can get a lot of info on a girl by scoping out her domicile. When I get to her place, lo and behold her MOTHER greets me at the door - heavy russian accent too. I'm already like "oh man here we go" but then the girl comes out and my jaw almost drops - she looks even better than her pictures! I drive her to a nearby coffee shop, and the whole time conversation just flows smooth as hell. I'm constantly making her laugh, qualifying, and working in what kino I can. We spend nearly two hours at the coffee shop, then it starts getting loud so I suggest we high tail it. We actually walk in the completely wrong direction for almost five minutes before I realize it, just talking away.

After getting in the car, she asks me to take her home (~9pm) quoting that she goes to bed early on days she works. As I'm dropping her off, she asks me to walk her to the door, then invites me in for a bit. Mind you, this is a two bedroom one story flat and BOTH OF HER PARENTS are there. They must have been about 70. SUPER freaking nice, though. She shows me her bedroom, I get a little more kino in, but I can't tell if I've got the green light, aside from the fact I avoid end-of-date-kclose-cliche's like the plague now. Not to mention, I'm totally weirded out escalating much with her freakin parents there. She had told me earlier in the date that THEY lived with HER - believable, all things considered - and she's buying her own house next month anyways. But still. The whole thing totally mindfucked me. If they hadn't been there, different story. A HB8+ invites me into her place late at night, you better believe I'm escalating, or at least trying. But I couldn't help but think with her IOIs and body language she was trying to set me up for it... I doubt I blew it, but I believe in the ladder, and I barely had a chance to touch that thing in the course of a two hour coffee date and car ride. So the night ended with a big hug (she even complimented me on it, ha) and a talk to ya later. No contact since, but I had plans to rush off to. I'm a busy guy, after all

I'm finally used to college game, but this is almost like... normal game. So what do you think, should I have just gone for it? Definitely did NOT expect a 29 y/o doctor to live with her parents, but it seems she is the one supporting them. But it totally threw me off. Otherwise, I think the date overall went really well. Regardless, what's my next move? I was considering inviting her to my town tomorrow (she said she stays up later on Saturdays - up to 2am) as my pad is fucking primo for this sort of thing. Either that, or wait til a later day. I think I know better than to bring up any awkward text conversation, next contact will be calling this girl regardless. Next step is isolate escalate, I'm just hoping I didn't come off as too much of a pussy/beta for not doing it already.

You're overthinking the parents thing. What would you have done if she lived by herself or had a roommate?

Also, if you have to ask yourself whether or not you should have kissed her, the answer is always yes.

As for what you should do next, ya just invite her to your area. Tell her that you're heading downtown with some friends (or wherever people go to have fun where you are) and tell her she should tag along.

Don't look back, what's done is done. Make the most of what you can and fuck the shit out of her

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Gone for it, of course. The whole lived in Russia for 60 years parents being there put me out of my comfort zone. Not to mention, cultural values in many other countries, the parents get a lot of respect and have a ton of influence on their kids. So mentally I figured next time I'll get her to my area and go for it, it'll be easy to "let me show you where I live now" routine and escalate easily.

My only concern at this point really is timing. I told her that I was going out of town today, but have since cancelled those plans. Should I hit her up today (at the risk of looking desperate) or wait until sometime next week?

Like I said in OP, college dating is way different than traditional. Thanks for any advice, mates.

This. It's sometimes not a good thing to overthink. All you should focus on doing now is making sure that what happened with this girl doesn't happen again. Use this experience as a valuable lesson to improve your future interactions with women.

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Thanks for the advice, I know for sure now just to go for it no matter what. Better to try and fail than not try at all, of course.

I would like to get a little input on this situation. After the above meet up, I received a text from her the following Sunday saying "Hey! What's up? I had a good time on fri." a couple hours later, I responded with "Really? Cause that was just hours of pure agony for me " to which I got no response. Later that night, after the Ravens/Pats game, I texted "Go Ravens!!" and still nothing. Tuesday night, I decide to just say fuck it and give her a call, to which of course she didn't pick up. I sent a callback humor text after that, still no response, so at this rate I'm just going to freeze out I guess.

What sort of time frame would I be looking at to re-initiate contact in this situation? Also, I know my text game isn't that great, but I don't see any logical reason why she wouldn't contact back at ALL. That text I recieved on Sunday seemed like a "okay, here's your second chance" but nada afterwards. I'm kind of chalking her up as an EMW at this point (diagnosed histrionic, psych PhD, always ends her relationships, lack of stable ones, seemed almost too interested on first encounter, messaged me first, etc) but I'd like some outside opinions here.

Thanks again.

Still no word. Any salvaging this?

Well, you shouldn't have kept trying to get in contact with her when she is not replying.. Just quit that! You are right though, freeze out for a week or so. Even if she calls, don't pickup for the time being.. In a week get in contact with her, and invite her to your town. Let her know that you are in the town where she works/lives and you are going back to your town now so she can tag along.. Anyways, for the kiss most of the time I go for it on the first date, or second date at most.. You didn't blow your foot yet but if you keep texting her and she doesn't text back you are doing that.. Remember, she is a hot chick and she is used to guys chasing her all the time.. Seem indifferent about her and let her know that you can find another HB anytime you want.. Also, you said that she just moved to VA.. That means she doesn't have a lot of friends SPAM.. You can use that to your side!

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Well I haven't tried contacting her for about 6 days now. Originally, I had planned for a second date to include her coming to my town after she gets out of work (her work is halfway between us) because I don't see myself going out her way anytime soon. She lives an hour to east of me, and if I do go out that way it's to go out to eat / the mall usually with a friend or two. So you think I should definitely just wait until I'm already out that way? I was considering just in the next week sending some kind of "what's up so and so reminded me of you how have you been" kind of message but nothing has really stuck yet.

So may as well update. Sent a text last thursday just "hey, how ya been, (callback humor)" and still no reply. In my traditional moving on fashion, I deleted her number and chalked it up as a dead prospect / waste of time. Now Saturday night she sends "Hey, im good. How abt u?" to which I have not replied. Not sure when I will, or if I even will at all. No time for flakes. Board ruling?

move on and learn from this.. she is just being a cold bitch now.. Let it go, if she comes back later go full power and try to fuck her

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Kim, thanks for the post but did you notice I said she did respond to my last text? Albeit, 2 days later, which is why it's getting little/no attention.

For the record, I've pretty much dismissed this one as too high on the crazy/attention seeking scale, although sometimes from what I've read on the board it seems like typical girl behavior. Though what I still find curious is why she would bother sending me a "had a good time" text days after the date if she just wanted to play games and stop responding for almost two weeks. Unless she's just an attention seeker.

Usually, its pretty clear if the girl is into me or not. This one seems like I got put immediately into a "backup bin" and now she's either trying to pull me out, or just confirm she has my attention. Either way, I'm not available to that nonsense.

Yes, do not give away yourself too easily.

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So on the 5th, about 3:42pm I replied with "Busy, but good. What you been up?" not the most creative, but I didn't want to risk a possible language barrier again.

This morning, the 8th, I get "Ive been working a lot. Love my job more & more each day. How r classes going?"

Before our "date" we'd text back and forth fairly normally. Could she genuinely be this busy? And to be aware of general rules of text, do I really have to wait three days to answer that? For two 29 year olds, this seems a bit rediculous. I'm not the kind of person who goes days without responding to messages, should I respond at all.

Do not wait 3 days. That's a little too long my friend.

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