So this girl i've been hooking up with regularly since the late summer asked me " so what is this" after sex one time. In the past I've told her that I just wanted to hook up, she was ok with that, but we hang out alot.

In response I said "well I am still kind of friends with my ex and I want her out of the picture before I tell you anything"

she asked me if she knows about her and how often we hang out. I said less than with her and no she does not. I also told her I am not physical with her and don't generally do that when I am having sex with one girl.

The hookup then said that she is going through a similar situation with an ex, and that she is ok with where things are at now (I think she kind of threw this in there to make it clear that this wasn't a make or break it deal if I said this is just a hookup) but she also said somewhere along the line that (being exclusive) was "fair to me"

Bottom line: I don't want to lose this girl, did I say anything that will make her stray or fuck her ex again (who she says she is not)? I told her I wasn't FUCKING anyone else, but I still see my ex

KEEP IN MIND: I DO want a relationship with this girl, but I am just buying time to get rid of my current crappy somewhat girlfriend

Oh my god she played you like a fiddle didnt she. Dude, you dont often get to hang your shit tests on the refrigerator, but now, you can! And sorry but you got an F. No big deal tho.

Basically she wants to be with you. That's why she asked. And when she didnt like what she heard, she used the "Yea I'm also hangin out with people" line so now she plants this jealousy bomb inside your head. What it does is it makes you go all "Shit, I thought I'd fuck this chick whenever I wanted til the end of time. Is there a possibility that I won't be able to? Fuck, man I'd started to like this girl a bit too." . It's so similar to the stuff that we do to girls, and sometimes it's the EXACT same thing we do to girls. Remember not giving a fuck if she said she had a boyfriend when you try to pick her up? Well, turns out you should do the same thing when it's said after sex too.

OK, but in other words did this turn her off?

I didn't react all concerned when she said she sees her ex, I just agreed with her and didn't show it bothered me. From the get go I said give me some time. I didn't get angry but I was thoughtful about the situation.

also, what should my next step be? Should I just tell her she is my girl or will she see this as a reaction?

I don't know why you brought up your ex...you should have left her out of the picture.

She then retaliated saying the same thing with her ex as sort of a defense that you brought out with your statement (she never would have said it if you wouldn't have either). She's just trying to show she isn't needy and wants to be on par with you. Sort of like "You're doing that?...well so am I!" - I doubt she is though.

Just invite her over again and take things from there. Never bring this up again. She probably will at some point, which is when you are COMPLETELY HONEST in your intentions - what do you want here? If you don't want a relationship yet, say so. Tell her you really like her, think she's great company, really sexy, and would love to keep seeing her and see how things develop naturally. If you do want a relationship, don't just blurt that out. Going the "let's have things proceed naturally" kind of way is probably the best way here. Be more affectionate with her. DO rather than SAY. Actions speak louder than words. If you want a relationship increase your contact a little and show a little more affection. See how she responds. If she likes it, continue, if not, back off. Remember, she likes you for the person she started seeing, so don't become a needy little bitch. Just increase your contact a little and go for what you want without apologies.

This is exactly what I thought. We often play that game anyway. I will mention a girl that hits on me, and she rebuttles later in the conversation to be on par.

You don't think what was said made her want me LESS did it? (keep in mind we fucked right after this several times). Basicly I came off like I wanted to sort shit out with my ex whom I'm not even fucking anymore, so give me more time, but I like her, and she said she likes where we are now as well as things being "fair to her" aka exclusivity

I don't really get where the other poster came from...if anything SHE was in the weaker position after this convo because I all but flat out told her I am seeing her and finishing up with an emotional other person

There's no way to know if she wants you less or more apart from you trying your next move and seeing how she reacts. It's always best to assume she likes you anyway, even if next time she may say I'm busy, just take it as "playing hard to get". It's fair here because you already fucked. YOU ALREADY FUCKED. I'm pretty sure she likes you

One way to stop worrying whether or not she likes you is, the usual, meet other chicks too.

she said it was really good too, several times, and the night before this conversation she said flat out "I really like you Lionheart9999 (lol)"

I get what you are saying tho. I just meant did that conversation have any real horrible flaws that killed her attraction, even tho we fucked afterwards and said what a great time we had that day...

Probably no effect. Who knows? You will the next time you see her.