We started out as colleagues and became quite close. emailing each other every day etc. Good work buddies I'd say until she started crossing the that line and started flirting both at work and then by text outside of work. funnily enough this started after i revealed my feelings to her like a true afc and after she said she liked me as a friend.

Thinking she might be after 'no strings sex' I told her to meet me late one night during a textual flirting session. She said she was going home and hinted at another time. No problem.

i kept my distance and would notice subtle attempts by her to initiate contact. choosing to work late with me, coming to work do events (unrelated to her dept and without her usual friends), stopping me in the hallway because 'we havent talked in a while' etc.

Some time later, confident she was giving strong ioi's I asked her out and did a quick kino test by gently rubbing her hand which she rubbed back but told me she couldn't go out with me cos she was scared that it would go wrong, despite admitting she liked me. Again no problem i said, hoping things would return to normal although I now start to keep my distance and limit any attention towards her.

Then she starts acting weird. Distant. Still friendly and responsive if i initiate but almost mirroring me in limiting attention. So i do likewise. She then starts cutting me out of social events, inviting every one in office, but me etc and i'm getting the feeling she's trying to get a rise out of me for some reason. but i say nothing.

again when we bump into each other and i initiate contact she is very responsive. no awkwardness. almost like this is what she wanted from me. i notice her watching me in the office or in meetings etc but again i make no moves on her until it is revealed she is leaving our department for another. it seems everyone but me knew about this. on her last day she leaves a piece of chocolate cake on my desk whilst i am away. later that evening i text her to thank her. she replies and is very responsive. i decide to push things a little to test the waters. she clams up. takes 5 hours to respond etc. so i decided to leave it.

after she has left our department, suddenly she is adding mutual friends on facebook. all but me. i find out from a mutual friend she's still hung up over her ex. drunk over xmas i message her on facebook basically telling her i know she's still hung up over him and that i'm under no illusion there is anything between us. no response even though i know she's read it.

back at the office a week later and she greets me with a huge smile and a 'hi'. at this point i'm completely brain-frazzled and can only give her a blank look and an empty hello. her face drops and she leaves the room. next day at someone's leaving presentation she ignores me completely. since then is always in and out of our department to talk to various other guys but never comes to talk to me. odd.

so the question is. what the hell do you think she wants. id love to ask her but i'm afraid she'll just deny she's doing anything (which'll just infuriate the hell out of me).

1) she doesn't want to be friends or she's not have crossed the line like she did into flirting territory or she would have made some approach to patch things up or talk about whats going on.
2) she doesn't want to go out with me or she's have taken me up when i asked her out.
3) so what the hell does she want?

sometimes i feel like i'm in the middle of some game being played because i am confused and other times i think i'm just imagining things, so i come to you guys before i do something else with this girl that will make me look more stupid than i already look.

Ask her flat out.

"Hey do you want to kiss me?"


Go from there. Hope you don't get fired.

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Why guys and girls don't mesh.

"Chicks are crazy and guys are dumb." Chinopants.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=en ... a_Nno&NR=1

no way! she would never admit to that even if she did want to. she would say no and i would look like i'm still into her and feel even dumber than i already do.

Well if she said yes then kiss her. If she said no then say "thats ok I did not say you could any ways."

Play with her and make it sexual. Restart the relationship like you just met her.

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Why guys and girls don't mesh.

"Chicks are crazy and guys are dumb." Chinopants.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=en ... a_Nno&NR=1

i'd rather just forget about her to be honest. she's more a headache than anything else plus id rather not risk getting sacked for harrassment. i half suspect that's what she wants! trouble is, she's got me so confused, it's all i can think about trying to work this whole mess out and what it is exactly she wants.

but i'll think about it. trouble is. i'm actually scared of her! she's this mousey little girl and i'm terrified of her!

I think that even she doesn't know what she wants, therefore its impossible for you to find out , haha!

I kind of really think you should forget het, it might turn out difficult because you see her at work etc, but just try to keep ignoring her, and if she initiates contact just mirror her frame, do just like her.

What I can recommend to do tho is to make yourself the man of the party, meaning at work make it so she notices you all the time, you said she comes to talk with other guys, you go talk with the other girls, or even the guys, let her see that you are the shit, and that youre doing it all without her, she will be jealous and also want your attention again. if that happens its game on and you can decide your next step. good luck

Stupid but also the best thing to do xd

Geez, it seems this girl is intent on working her way through everyone in the office.

Every day she's going to lunch with someone different in our dept (people she never goes to lunch with) and she doesn't even work in our dept any more! i thought once she left I'd never see her again.

It's almost like she's making a point that she's going to be friends with everyone in the office but me! I have to admit it BUGS me! So if she's doing this on purpose, it's working.

i really want to confront her and say something which is why i'm writing this here!

edit - my bad. i dont know what they were doing, but it wasn't lunch. this is driving me insane though. i really want to talk to her!!!!

well i did it. she was in the office (again) and so after making some small talk and as she was leaving i said 'do you want to kiss me?' she kinda sped up and said no! but there was a little smile on her face. i said 'that's ok. i didnt say you could' before saying 'see ya'. she kinda hung around at the door for a second before leaving. then i noticed she had a secret talk with her best friend who's in my office.

so now what?

You ASK a girl to kiss you, then have as your sigline "Remember, you are never asking a question..."

I didn't write that shit just to be cute. I actually meant it because it works.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

LOL. good point. there's a works do drink do tomorrow night. i'll just tell her to kiss me then.

or do you think i should email her now and tell her to come to my desk to see me.

i want to move this on one way or another.

Quick question. How come you want a sexual harrassment suit pressed against you so bad?

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

cos this is driving me insane.

i had her best mate accusing me of playing mind games earlier and telling me how it was funny to me but boring to her!

Oh, well in that case, that's a perfectly good reason to get yourself fired.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn