Would really value opinions and help on what to do please pals......

So me and this chick have been texting loads and she gave me positive signs. Regularly replying and keeping the conversation going even when I thought it would end, I was testing her to try and gauge her interest. Thought the continuation was a good sign so thought I'd step it up a bit; asked her out a couple of times, went quite well we had a good connection and seemed to click (although the two times we met up were spaced apart as she had some other stuff on that turned out to be genuine, she wasn't just blowing me off)

Therefore I came to the conclusion that I would get my feelings out there and bit the bullet, put my bollocks on the line and told her that I liked her. Here's where the problem is.... That age old bitch no one wants to hear: " I don't feel the same LJBF yeah?"

And I must admit this has come as a genuine surprise as I always got broad smiles, lots of eye contact and laughter when we were together.

Question is how should I respond?
Have I just been 'played' by this girl?

My current thoughts are just to accept it, take the hit and move on despite my feelings for this girl.

Is there any way of retrieving this fuck up?

Suggestions and thoughts and advice will be warmly and greatly appreciated
Thanks
T_A_M

_________________
To conquer oneself is a greater victory than to conquer thousands in a battle

Well honestly, you pretty much fucked that shit up like you wouldn't believe. Why would you tell a girl you like her? NEIN NEIN NEIN.

Your correct response is to tell her you're cool with it, and honestly, you need to convey that you don't give a shit. Next step is to distance yourself from her a bit... Make her miss the attention. If the IOIs you described are genuine, then she'll come back to you.

And for the love of God... NEVER, EVER tell a girl you like her unless she tells you she likes you. UNDERSTOOD?

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

Ok cool thanks man for the advice @Fly_Swatter, not entirely sure if she will come back to be honest but hey, plenty more fish in the sea.

Haha yeah I had worked that one out thanks mate :p Well I thought it would move things on but obviously not...

What did surprise me about the whole "Nah not into you quite in that way" was the fact that nature of her texts and behaviour were consistently flirtatious and interested with lots of questions about me and my interests...I didnt have to do much to keep things flowing. Meet-ups were always fun and positive too...

Anyway since my admission she's texted me a couple of times since apologising profusely and saying how she feels bad, it's not my fault and she 'does like me' but 'not like that' and that she 'really really wishes that she liked me in that way'. Nevertheless she's still keen to be friends which is hard because I dont see how I can follow your advice and distance myself but still be friends :/

So I can say that I'm pretty fucking confused right now but have decided to take up your advice (so I hope it'll work) and I have started to not reply as quickly as we used to (used to be pretty quick responses as of late). She's already double texted me about two different things...dont want to blank her as that will piss her off so I've decided to just take a day or so to reply to stuff. Also I will be going away for a bit so that will cut off all contact and I guess make things easier to move on.

But do you realistically think that she will come back or re-discover those feelings of liking me? As I know for a fact that she did at one point because her friends told me 6 months or so ago that "___ really wants to get off with you she thinks you're well fit" at a time when I had just met her and wasn't into her. (How I fucking wish I had now but thats bloody life isn't it) But obviously now she doesnt quite have those same feelings, the initial attraction has worn off.

Re-building this attraction, is it possible without coming off as needy given my fuck up lol?

Suggestions and thoughts and advice will be warmly and greatly appreciated
Thanks
T_A_M

_________________
To conquer oneself is a greater victory than to conquer thousands in a battle

Heyya again,

So yeah attraction and stuff doesnt really work by you telling her you like her in that way after you've been hanging out like that but I guess you have worked that bit out

By virtue of her texting meeting up and stuff its kinda already said so when you tell her in that explicit way it kinda fucks it up, you wanted just move things forward so you do that by kissing.
So it sounds like it was going well and stuff so theres no reason to say that you just take it to the next levels.
And if your having a good connection instead of "letting her know ur feelings" you just kiss her.

Infact thats pretty much exactly what a kiss is saying to her you like her, so instead of kissing her you say you like her. That tells her a hell of a lot about you and the way you go about things which is pretty much counter to how she wants it to go.

The ljbf shouldnt even come up so reacting to it is damage control which is just silly waste of time.
Just move on and learn your lesson

If for some reason she does say that just be like cool and just chat a bit longer then try kiss her rinse repeat till she tells you to fuck off, unless you wanna be mates with her?

If you honestly feel this girl is the most amazing once in a life time girl who you want to marry and have children with and there is no other girl in the world then sure stay in contact or summin and hang out a bit or whatever fuck knows or get over the oneitis thing which isnt real anyway.


Yeah well the moment you did that it pretty much changed what she thought about you if it was all real then shes expecting a kiss, which if that for some reason didnt go well then you wanna take a lot of steps back in thinking where it was at.
Because it means your attraction wasnt there in the first place and your not able to work out legit interest.

Or maybe she likes you but didnt wanna start dating you, most people wanna hook up before making that commitment.

Fucking weird that shes msging u saying all that stuff since, I really wouldnt think about it too much. If shes saying she really really wishes that she liked you. What shes saying is she really wishes u had more game and could get her more attracted in you. Shes saying I NEEDED MORE ATTRACTION.


Well you can be nice to her respond and stuff just dont get emotional about it maybe work out if you want to be friends or not but dont think about making it work or anything just forget about it is a good idea.
Who knows maybe in the future you guys will bump into each other at some party some time and chat and have a few drinks and make out then why not.

Ohh 6 months ago? wtf why didnt you make out with her then or summin? sounds like you took so long it put her off. The window of opportunity isnt open for that long. And a guy who doesn't take opportunity and push things further when giving the chance or opportunity to do so is very unattractive enough to turn a girl off totally and forces her to put that guy in friends mode because hes not gonna make a move so hes a mate.
It sounds like you were playing a weird girl type dating game and stuff dont try bridge the 2 worlds it doesnt bode well.

I guess you could work on re attracting her but that's such a fucked mentality you dont wanna think ohh shes said ljbf how do I fix this? Its more you hear that and think oh I fucked up how do I ensure this doesnt happen again in the future with someone else I like and you move on. I just think the mentality in general of wanting to fix this is a big stumbling block and will impede you immensely so the best advice is to just focus on that notion and forget about it.

You will do well to know why it fucked up and how to stop it fucking up again with someone else thats where your mentality should be at for sure.

Hope it helps all the best.

Future thank you so much for the awesome reply mate, I'll respond properly to it tomorrow when I've for more time!

This chick's just double texted me after I played it cool and never responded to her last one. Looks like she misses talking and shit!

Should I respond? Don't want to make her think I'm not interested at all by blanking her but obviously don't wanna come over as beta and needy and shit so should I just keep it brief and polite?

Cheers

T_A_M

_________________
To conquer oneself is a greater victory than to conquer thousands in a battle