In the past few months, my dad has been trying to convince me to go out with his friend's daughter. So did that friend. Today I told myself "fuck it, I'll just do it" even though she's an HB 6.5 - 7. She turned out to be intelligent and with a 'good' character, and I think I kinda like her. So anyways, I called her and said "hey, it's X's son, Y, I'm going to eat something, wanna join?"
At first I could hear by her tone that she was kinda freaked out (I lack any social skills) and said "Uhh, okay". "I'll pick you up in about an hour, sounds good?" "Yeah okay".
40 minutes later I called to ask if she was ready, and she didn't answer. I assumed she was in the shower and waited a few minutes. She called me about 5-7 minutes later and said she's ready. "I'll text you to let you know when I'm outside".

So I drove to her place (actually her grandma's, it's a bit complicated) and I texted her. She got inside my car, "hey how are you doing" and we drove off.

I usually worry about "what should I talk about with a girl", but that wasn't the case. We had a good chemistry and always had something to talk about. At one time during the meal she asked me if I had a girlfriend. "No" I answered, and she responded "why not?". I answered something like "I'm too old for that stuff " (cynically, I'm only 18 years old. She's almost 17, BTW.)

At another part of the conversation, she asked "what's the craziest thing you've ever done" and "what's the most interesting thing you've ever done" (it sounds like she's picking me up ). We agreed that I'm a dull person .

I'll say another thing - at the beginning I tried kind of "negging" her, e.g, when we were looking at the menues, I told her "take one of their salads, they're not fattening at all" followed by a smile and "I'm kidding". But anyways, she didn't really care. She said something like "I don't care about my diet when on vacation." (she's on vacation, again, pretty darn complicated, but irrelevant)
So from that point I thought to myself "finally a mature girl who doesn't play stupid games".

At the end she looked at the check and immediately threw in a $50 bill. "Hey, you must be joking" I told her. We both insisted to pay so we laughed and said "let's just leave a $100 tip" (both meals were like 2X dollars). But anyways, fortunately money isn't close to being an issue in either of our families and we ended up paying about 50-50.

It was already about 1 AM when we started heading towards the car. We got into the car and drove off, when I said "hey, let's go to the movies!". "Sure, which movie do you wanna go to?" "IDK, let's just see if anything is running now".
We drove to the movies, but unfortunately, all movies have already ended by that time of the night. "Well, at least we tried". I drove her home, and she was about to leave the car when I said "hey" "give me a high-five." She gave me a high-five and we said good night. (I think high-fives are much more fun and creative than anything else )

So my concern is: we didn't 'define' this night as anything but "going to eat together". I don't know if technically it could be considered a "date", and I don't know if she was in to me. I know we both had a great time. But we didn't have any sort of sexual affection (the only time we touched each other was the goodbye high-five. And the fact that she asked if I had a girlfriend, and why don't I, made me think. Maybe she's already FZ'd me in her mind? I have no clue.

I'd like some help for those who know women a bit better than I do.

Did you make your sexual interest in her known? If you didn't, you need to very, very quickly. Not over the phone though. The next time you go out.

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RSDTyler

How can I do that? I am by no means the pure definition of an "A.F.C". I know some "theoretical" pick-up, but nothing from the real world.

Next time, should I for example exit my car so I could hug her / kiss her cheek? or would that be a 'low value demonstration', and I should stay in the car? Or.. any other way?

This is how you show a girl you are sexually interested in her.

You get sexual with her.

Its not hard man, you've gone on a date in a restaurant so I'm assuming you've done this before. The best way to let a girl know your interested sexually.

Touch her (kino)
tease her
Kiss her <thats a big one.
Fuck her <thats also pretty big.

Actually, I've never done this before.. All of this sounds like rocket science to me.

How do I escalate kino? How do I tease her?

And about a 2nd 'date' - I thought of a horror movie so I could be excused for holding her hand "to keep us safe" (or something like that). Or is the theater a bad idea?

you might actually try ignoring her and see if she contacts you first, girls normally have no problem pursuing guys they are interested in, and if she texts you first you will come off as having more value.

^ That is advise for someone much further along and with more options. And for a great first date, not one where he treated her like his sister.

If I'm interested in a woman, I tell her I'm attracted to her verbally. Before I ask them out, I say I'm hitting on you, or you have sexy lips or we'll look so cute when we're making out in front of our friends. Note, I am not giving you canned lines. Just examples. The point is to make it clear that you're not just wanting to hang out as buddies.

Now on the date, you do need to touch her. Though I don't disagree with physical escalation in general, I would say to beware hard models. You do not need to go from touching her hand to hugging her to kissing her on the cheek or whatever Mystery's 1-2-3-4-5 system is. Though I generally get her comfortable with touching me before kissing, that may take ten minutes and it may take forty. Depends on the girl and the date. But if she isn't okay with me kissing her inside the first hour, I know that she's not that into me.
For some girls, I'll stick around a little longer and try again, for others I pretty much call it a night and don't bother with her again. Depends on how much I like her.

So, for a step by step of the next date. When you pick her up, tell her how hot/sexy she looks. In this case, do not use "cute" or "pretty" as those are more generic terms. You want one that conveys certain sexual interest. No idea what you're going to do on your date, but if you're standing, stand near her, not at a distance, and touch her often. It needs to flow with the conversation, but the more the better. If you're sitting, sit next to her, not across from her and touch at least somewhat(sitting makes it a bit more difficult). Though sitting does allow for things like leaning in to smell her and feeding her/having her feed you.

Another tip. If you eat something, always, always ask for a bite of her food after ten/fifteen minutes. I don't care if it's something you want or not. Provided you aren't literally allergic to it, you want some and it's delicious However, this won't work with sandwiches or anything else that's single piece, (like chicken legs). Dunno why, but my SNL rate ticked up quite a bit once I started doing this. I guess it triggers a more LTR vibe than most first dates?
Btw, sometimes she'll say "sure" and then expect you to reach over and take something - don't do that. Say something like "Ah, I suddenly have crippling arthritis and don't think I can feed myself ". After she feeds you, she'll usually ask for you to feed her something. If at no other, desert.

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RSDTyler

Today I waited to see if she would text me, which didn't happen. I called her at like 10:30 pm and said we "had some unfinished business" (the first time we spontaneously went to the theater, but it turned out to be closed). Anyways, she said "I can't, today I'm babysitting my cousins". "I don't envy them.. Just kidding (she laughs)". I will say that I know for sure that she wasn't lying, she didn't hesitate and she didn't need time to think of it. So it wasn't an excuse, she was actually preoccupied.

Anyway, she's flying to a different country in two days, and the only chance of meeting her would be tomorrow. Next time I'll see her would probably be in a few months, and after that, she's planning on moving here. Basically, my plan is to make a sort of a "long distance fuck buddy" relationship, and if I want to get serious with her, I'll make that happen once she lives here.

The idea is both not to be friend-zoned, but still have a sort of an 'on-and-off' relationship.

I'll just note that she didn't keep my number after the first time out, since the phone call started as such: "Hello?" "Hey there, what's up" "Notepad?". And than the rest. I will sate that she has a foreign phone, so it is possible that she couldn't actually save the number because she might have seen it as "unknown" or any random odd number.

So the problem is, if I call her again, I turn out to be super needy, and I don't know if she is technically able to call or text me.

Best thing I can think of, is to send her a FB message saying something like "goodbye night out?". Or should I wait and let her message me on FB, and if she doesn't, she's probably not that interested?

She's leaving the country for months in just two days, eh? Well, either she already has a fuck buddy she'll be seeing or should be very accommodating to you. This is basically like last day of vacation mode, which is practically a sure thing. Make sure to ask this girl out and be direct. If you get her out, you'll already be in fuck buddy place. If she blows you off, it's not a big deal. Waiting for months would let you grow stale in her mind and your odds of resparking things is pretty low.

It's time to go for it!

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RSDTyler

Why in gods name do people always persist on asking. She's not of any importance.

You: You're leaving soon, I want to see you. Tomorrow night, lets go out with a bang!

Im glad you decided to lower your standards for this girl. I dont think you know enough to have high standards yet.

Drop all the pick up vocabulary and definitely stop negging, that is so out of place here. But you done well for yourself with this girl, and things can still happen. Its easy to get her to hang out with you. Once you do, forget tactics, just remember to escalate physically. A little bit of touch at the beginning will go a long way as things pick up.

So I sent her a FB message "Any plans for today?". I didn't wanna call so I wouldn't cause her awkwardness in case she's not that into me. "I'm leaving to ny at 4 am"
At that point I assumed maybe she's really not that into me, because if she were, I bet she would've done something about it.
So I answered "Have a nice flight, see ya sometime in the future:>" , she answered "hahaha thanks" and that's it.

It seems kind of weird, because we did have a good time together, and we did have a good chemistry. So I can't point out for what went wrong.

I guess it's time for me to learn pick-up more seriously than reading stuff on the internet .

The problem is that you're being too timid. You're afraid to touch her, you're afraid to kiss her, you're afraid to call her. You don't want to impress upon her or bother her. Everything you've been doing is classic pussy worship.

Even though men and women view things differently, let's imagine this in reverse. Would this make you feel more excited to see her and more likely to do something?

Her: Hey, Ben, what's up?
You: Just headed out to see some friends at Spencer's.
Her: Ok. Have fun.
You: I always do

Now where in that do you see a reason to tell her, "Hey, let's get together?" Does it make you want to see her? Probably not. That is what you're doing. You're wanting her to make an effort to see you. Yeah, sometimes a girl will chase you. But not in the majority of cases, and particularly not when she's legitimately busy AND you've been acting like a shy middle school boy.

Be more aggressive. You did everything else right. Your main sticking point here is that you're afraid of ruining her day by making her aware of your interest in her. This never ruins a girl's day. Even if she doesn't like you, she enjoys having guys attracted to her. At absolute worst, expressing your interest in her will give her a little ego boost and leave you with closure that you did all you could. Yeah, it can make her uncomfortable if you get needy and weird. But it's fine if you're cool about her lack of interest.

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RSDTyler