I keep having this problem, that everytime I meet a new girl and start texting her for a while I begin to be needy and start caring. This means I start getting nervous if she'll respond and so on. Another issue is that my text game sucks - and I find it hard to build attraction/spike buying temp with these girls making me more needy. I am unsure, where to leave the attraction to simmer or text to build buying temp so she remembers that good feeling.

This has manifested itself in the most recent girl I've been seeing which has been for the last month. I have slept with her on 5 seperate occasions and simply my neediness killed it. She was really into the attraction at the beginning, even saying to me, saying that she didn't want me going away with some other girl when I'm out in town. But the last week or so, she doesn't really appear to have bothered - I still got away with it and managed talk my way out of it. She has now flaked, after I had a phone call from the police regarding an accident she was indirectly involved in the night she met me and got grilled - I freaked out and text her if she gave them my number but no reply, I waited four hours, for her to finish work and again nothing, so I called her, no reply (she has her phone on silent often but still) and then text her to say that I don't leave voicemails, I would like to speak to her. Got a text 15 minutes later saying she had been busy with work, was out for a meal and that she gave them my number (with no kiss on the end). I know I shouldn't have done this. I could tell she was pissed off. Left it till the next morning to make out it wasn't a big deal and have a good day - no reply. Left it a few days and text again to ask if she wanted to meet me in town as I would like to see her - again no reply. My wing, who is seeing her friend text her friend and she said that she 'didn't know' but I must have pissed her off badly and that she wasn't interested. I do however know where she works, so was thinking if I phoned her I would maybe be able to clear things, or at least get closure - I know this sounds so afc and not the right thing to do.

Some more information, everytime after we had sex she would text me, the last time was when I opened up to her and suggested we go on a date. Before this I had either met her in town or came to hers. She also had 2 bad previous relationships where boyfriends cheated.

So, I know I'm putting this girl on a pedistal but I seem to be doing this everytime. I couldn't even perform game properly because that was affecting my sub-text that night. I have thought about CBT sessions, but that is expensive.

Please could someone advice on what do regarding my neediness/validation seeking in general and what I should do with this girl - is it a dead horse worth pursuing?

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Gaming is a part of life! I realise that now! It affects almost everything you do...

I would suggest just stop contacting her, assume its all over and go no contact. That's the only way to resurrect things if you ask me and if it doesn't, at least you're moving on.

I have a similar problem with neediness that I am working on with some success, but it was really exacerbated in the last short term relationship that I had and I killed it with a girl I really liked, which sucks but there are plenty more out there.

I recommend reading a book called "The Chimp Paradox" by Dr. Steve Peters, its a mind management program that gives you techniques with which you can learn to control your emotional mind or "Chimp" and learn to think with your logical mind again or "human." It's very helpful to be able to recognise when your insecure, needy, jealous and paranoid "chimp" is taking over and be able to exercise it, calm it and think more clearly and logically. It has been an enormous help to me.

Thanks man for the reply,
A quick update her friend called today me to ask me what was going on - saying that she still liked me and I should text her tonight. This seems too soon to me, as I text her yesterday and no reply. I will see... But if no reply again, then your right, I'll have to move on.

I've been working on inner game stuff on and off for a year now, with videos by David Deangelo and RSD stuff. Although I understand and agree with it, I still can't stop thinking like a needy emotional wuss. Will defo check out the ''Chimp paradox'' though, thanks for the recommendation.

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Gaming is a part of life! I realise that now! It affects almost everything you do...