As a relatively inexperienced PUA, I'm only just shrugging off ideas such as having to take a girl out before you can engage her in a relationship. I feel that this kind of thinking has really held me back to a degree, and I'm trying to adopt the 60 Years Of Challenge mindset.

I'm at University, where a lot of girls are having sex without getting involved in relationship, and it's really only the minority who are taken. Would you guys think the best way to go about hooking up with a girl (for either sex or a relationship) would be to focus on escalating and having sex, and then seeing where things go?

Second question, how far would I need to escalate before trying to go back to a girl's place? Could I grab her hand and lead her out without even kissing her? The girl I'm gaming now I can force some good touching with, but I wonder would it be best to say "let's go somewhere more private" rather than making the big move in public?

This is all night game by the way.

There is no limit to how far you should escalate. Just no YOUR boundaries. Will you kiss a girl in public? If yes then do so. If no then tell her "I only kiss girls in private." You could be having your hand down her panties on the couch of a house party, and then say "Let's check out the house upstairs."

Sex is always a better way to start a relationship, whatever that relationship may be. If you want a gf, gotta have sex with her. If you want a fuck buddy, gotta have sex with her. If you want a one night stand, gotta have sex with her. As 60 put is, Sex first, Affection later. It's always easier to get the girl that way.

Focus on escalation. Read up on Vin Dicarlo's Escalation Ladder. Then read 60s method of escalation. Integrate them both and you will become a beast at escalation sooner or later.

Lead lead lead, it is YOUR responsibility to escalate. She has to be able to blame it on you. Get to no. Getting rejected is better than regret, remember that.

Thanks for the reply man. I'm confident of being able to get away with physical touch, because i know she's into me, but tell me what you think of this process of going about getting sex, this is just a rough outline of how I would go about seducing her.

1) Finding her and opening with some touching, possibly hugging.

2) Maintaining close proximity. Standing close enough to kiss whilst locking my arms around her back.

3) Saying to her "look at you trying to seduce me in front of all these people. Let's go somewhere more private."

Anything you would change in that approach. Also, how should I let her know that we go to her place and not mine? Can't really do mine since it's very far.

Try your approach out. It can work, you just have to be congruent with it.

I heard good advice (or read can't remember) on how to get to hers. Get her talking about her place and have her tell you the most interesting thing about her place. Then be very interested in that one thing and tell her she's got to show you that.

You can bring that up later and say "I've got to see ... you were talking about." Calibrate from there. She will either say yes or no, "Yeah let's go" or "Yeah I can show you sometime next week" or "Maybe" or "Not tonight". Whatever. Just gives you info on how she feels about you coming over to her place.

You can also for a Day 2 say "Let's watch a movie. You provide the theater, I provide the popcorn and movie" the theater being her place. This is from Adam Lyon's so credit to him.

Update on this.

I've found out that this girl was originally in a relationship that lasted a couple of years. It ended badly, apparently the guy was a massive dick and possibly hit her.

So, she does have the experience of being in a relationship. She slept with a couple of guys after the breakup, but none since she first started talking with me - but of course mainly when drunk.

Her friends think despite the flake when i asked her out she still likes me, but they seem to think she isn't worth going after. We haven't spoken for two weeks, so I don't know exactly what is going through her mind, but I am going to make it my mission to speak to her the next time I'm out.

How should I play it? Should I just say hello and be playful and try and establish comfort so the asking out thing almost didn't count, or should I be direct and try and get her number or seriously escalate?

The next time you see her, be completely unaffected by her flake. If you have many girls' numbers, then you wouldn't really make a big deal out of this one flake, as you have so many other options available.

Be upbeat and fun and happy, have a good time, say and do whatever you want. Then start talking to her. Calibrate, touch, escalate, pull away if she's not too comfortable yet. Go in again. Isolate. Isolate. Isolate. This is a huge compliance test. If she does then go make the move. Be sexual when you talk to her after a while. Be more direct in your vibe. It's as if suddenly she's slowly winning you over, because you realize, hmm, this girl is interesting. Become sexual.

After that seriously escalate.

Get her number when you feel like it. But don't get it to go on a date. Get it to hang out. Focus on escalating that night, and the next time you see her, take it further.

Thanks again for the reply, but I feel like I'm in a major ditch here.

Firstly I have never had sex before. This is probably why i get attached to any attractive girl who shows interest.

Secondly, saw the girl tonight, was involved in a brief group conversation with her for a little bit, one mate told her I would be at pre-drinks with her mate soon. I then saw her and came from behind and rubbed her shoulders for kino, spoke to her about being at the same place for pre-drinks in a few days and she wasn't exactly enthusiastic. She was like "yeah I'll be there", and gave me no invitation to continue the conversation so i just pretty much went home after that :/

I really don't understand how this girl can go (all during night game) from telling me she watches me in lectures, say she loves me, tells people we're together, and her friends then say they've heard a lot of good things about me to not wanting to talk at all just because I asked her out.

I feel as though I'm now coming across as major needy now, but I know that we'll be at the same pre-drinks on Friday, so what to do?

Stop. Thinking. About. This. Girl. So. Much.

Seriously. If you want to get good at this, then I urge you to read and apply. Read and apply. Until you know what works and why it works and what doesn't.

At the pre-drinks be social. She is NOT the center of attention there. Do NOT give her the attention. Have FUN at the pre-drinks. When you talk to her, talk to her like ANYONE else. Because she is just a person, just like anyone else. If you get the feeling she's interested, or you have CHOSEN her, then go for it. You can also choose ANYONE ELSE there. If there is another girl you like more, you find more suitable, then go for her. Don't apologize for it. Your reality. Your world. You can do as you please. If you want to make a move on her (or another girl), then make it. Be unapologetic about it. You think she's cute, so what? Does she have the personality to match? Get to know her. If she's not enthusiastic on the night then just MOVE ON. She is not worth your time and energy. There will be another really cute girl who has a great personality who WILL invest in you. TRUST ME.

Just have fun on Friday. Say and do what YOU want. Talk about what YOU want. Talk to who YOU want to talk to. Be confident in yourself. Be you to the fullest. Don't conform to other people's views and wants and needs. No.

You care too much about this girl. So what if you haven't had sex yet? Just be congruent, in your world, dominant in your world, don't waver, be unaffected by other people's remarks and words and actions. Stay upbeat. You don't need her at all. If she's cool you might want to include her in your life. But that's it. You don't need to have her in your life to be happy. Because guess what, you're self amusing I bet. You can amuse yourself. Don't be dependent on others. Figure this out.

So just have fun at the party. Drink a little if you want to, whatever. It's pre-drinks after all. Make the move if you want to. Escalate if you want to. This is your choice, this is your reality. Whatever you choose, know that it is what you want, and then stay congruent with it. Don't apologize for your behavior. If someone talks shit to you or about you, stay unaffected and upbeat. If SHE mentions something about you two, something negative, just stay upbeat, and stay congruent with you thinking she's cute. It's just a natural thing, no harm done. She's pretty. But that isn't the only factor for you. So she can't really harm you for thinking she's cute. Her words are meaningless (unless it is a sharp "No"). Watch her body-language closely. If you are confident she likes you and she shit-tests you, just look at her deeply and smirk knowingly that she secretly wants you and escalate. Be sexual. Be serious. Be tense. Be playful. Be teasing. Be fun. Know what you want. Go for it. Stick with it, stay congruent. No apologies. Be unaffected by anything and everything. Don't let anything knock down your frame. Say and do what you want. Have fun.

I took your advice on board, and I feel like what you're saying is starting to really sink in now. It's a pretty simple idea, but I've definitely struggled to adopt the mindset of controlling my own frame. The last couple of days have been important, and I had a really good night.

I went there, enjoyed myself, fortunately I knew most people there, and they're all pretty much a great bunch of people. I didn't so much as make eye contact with the girl, essentially the girls were all chilling on one side of the room talking, and the lads playing xbox on the other.

I had no trouble relaxing and just got on with the night. I finally had the mindset of not being focused on any one girl. Later on in the night though, I did sit with our mutual friend who actually said to me that he in facts respects me for asking her out (I feel like I really needed to hear this), and said he still think she likes me, and that he told her she should talk to me, but I can't remember what he said her response to this was.

We just chilled for a bit, and it was all good. A girl came up to us and ask for a cigarette, my mate shared one with her, and she left. She came back a couple of minutes later, and invited us both to her birthday party next month, made us add her on facebook, and the whole time gave me some IOIs, including physical touch, but I'd just been talking about my oneitis, so I wasn't in frame. But it was a good night for my confidence.

I don't know how this will pan out long-term, but what I need to learn from this, and apply for the rest of my life really, is to not get too invested in any girl until we've at least had sex. I still have this big not-had-sex-yet monkey on my back, but I'm so often hung up on one specific girl that it's definitely held me back. I feel like I can make something positive out of this whole situation. Your advice has been solid, I just need to maintain this mindset.