Guys I need your help on this please, any input would be so appreciated, im new to the community so have less experience than everyone else.

Dating a girl for 5 weeks, was going so well, kept the dates fun and exciting, ticked all the boxes for IOI’s, she was very keen always instigating conversation messaging or calling me every day, we’ve slept together 4 times. If anything it has been very one sided with her making more effort. I kept what I feel about the situation to myself, she has been much more she has been far more open to how she feels and has asked me if I was seeing others.

She has an ex who is very obsessed about her. Openly try’s to tell me although I told her she has her friends to discuss that with, not me.

Last week we both had busy weeks so was hard to meet up, although Thursday night she was taking me to her home in London for a night out.

Last Tuesday she was supposed to come and see me after work, but didn’t instead sent me a message saying she was stressed, I was busy working so didn’t check my phone all day, she then calls me drunk during a party that night asking me if was ignoring her as I didn’t respond to her message. She was telling me about her ex being at the party and its awkward and also other things with guys, almost to reassure me its cool.

She wanted me to go and see her that night as she missed me, and then suggested to go over the following night, but as I had so much on I said it I try my best, we were still on for Thursday’s date in London anyway, she even made me promise her I wouldn’t bail on her as she had arranged everything, she was excited and couldn’t wait to see me.

Long story short I booked somewhere to stay in London, so we could drink and relax rather than driving back. She ignored my picture message of the booking reference late wednesday evening. And then cancelled the date by text Thursday midday as something had happened back home in London. It was left that she would try call me that night but didn’t, and we didn’t speak for 3 days.

I open again asking if she sorted everything back home… she apologises for not speaking to me, we get back to bantering, she says I need to bear with her with everything that is going on back home she has a lot of stress going on and has been in a bad mood. I reassured her I’m around if she need to chat about anything.

In the mean time one of my best mates gets a call from the ex’s mate as they are friends and during the conversation he tells my mate that she is apparently going back with the ex, in the context of the conversation it was brought up out of the blue almost as if it was pre planned.

We continue to banter, then I told her about the call from my mate, I said I don’t mind what the situation is just for her to be honest and don’t mess about as I wouldn’t do to her, whatever happens I would be cool.

She says tells me that they are not getting back together, it isn’t true they are trying to be friends but they were all out in a group over the weekend (her friends have same friends as his), and he is trying to find out if we had sex so is probably spreading rumours. I suggested that we should meet and chat properly soon but she said she needs to be by herself for a bit, and with all her home issues going on it is all bad timing.

Since then we haven’t spoken.

I am very stressed about the situation. It has really affected my every day life. To the point where I feel a little depressed. I feel gutted about it, it is hard to understand how she can go form hot to cold and how I can go from being in control of the situation to not in such a short period of time. I really need some advise, I’m confused and struggling to see this objectively as I am in the situation.

What does everyone think and suggest about this, what is the best thing i can do???

Thanks,
E

A. She is banging the ex
B. Move on

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Either above is right or she's testing you by feigning interest.

If her friend deliberately spouted about her friend(your girl) getting back with the ex it's probably a test they're pulling to see if you're really interested in her. If she has spoken to the friend then the friend was probably the one who came up with the idea in the first place as she would have seen how crazy the girl was about you and how much control you had over the relationship.

What you should do? Ignore her.

If she is with her ex you save face immediately.
If she's not and she's testing you then you remain in control as she will clamour to have you back.
If she's not with the ex and she's not clamouring back to you then you're still out on top. Honestly, as a guy who's seen them all, you're better off without a woman who needs to pull these tests. They're always more trouble than they're worth.

In my opinion this is all about power and the best course of action is to ignore her and, basically, move on. Presume it's over until she says otherwise.

Thanks for the advice.

I think you are right for my own benefit I should ignore her, that way I can walk away with my pride without looking stupid. In my mind now its off now anyway, I am glad I didn't come across as needy or bothered by the situation. By the time she does come clamouring back I would have been long over her, so I can decide if whether or not I want to see her for my own benefit and even if I did I wouldn't get attached as I have already been there and done that. When a girl is out of my life the attachment goes, I have always been that way, its usually just initially difficult to get past.

On reflecting it was not anything I did, I gamed well, but the ex situation lingering (we were not on a level playing field he always had the upper hand with there past, had this not been the case I am confident she would still be around me) and/or the fact that she could be testing me are the real causes for the situation.

She is just one 9/10 of many many out there. The community, the books, the forums etc has made realise that women come and go.

My real issue has been oneitis... for two reasons:

1- I always go for hot beautiful women 9/10s, and when they have great personality to go with it, we date etc I can get attached, but slowly I am learning to deal with this better.

2 - I perfected my skills for the last 8 months after coming out of a long term relationship. I have been picking up hot women but making some avoidable mistakes nothing major though, that helped me get to where I am now, so when I meet a hot girl with a great personality comes along, I put everything into practice and do not expect it to go wrong, especially when it is going so smoothly. So in future I need to change my mindset from the outset and be more relaxed about the situation in my own mind.

This is just another good learning experience for me to appreciate that sometimes expect the unexpected, even when I have done nothing wrong.