Theres this one girl I've been possibly friendzoned by and recently hasn't contacted me in a while. At the beginning, she was texting me constantly and the chemistry was great, but I pussied out for too long and wasn't even sure if I liked her. After a month, I definitely noticed that the interest was no longer there. What I did was basically try to play harder to get, which seemed to make matters worse as she started sending me texts that were straight and to the point.

Now, I recently asked her what her weekend plans were and she basically told said:

"Not sure, whys that?"

Then, after I told her I really wanted to try out this smoothie place and asked her if she wanted to come with me, she replied:

"Lol if u really want smoothies why dont u go right now? u have a lot of self control."

after this, I thought that I probably got friendzoned massive so I just said:

"sure, good idea, ill do that"

now thinking back, did she put up some sort of a test and did I even have a chance here? I felt like any response would basically lower my value and make me start climbing an uphill kiss-ass battle.

going forward, what would your guys' strategy be?

shes the kind of girl who seems shy on outside but much different on inside and isnt the kind to have sex.

you don't ask a girl anywhere, you indicate that she has an invitation to accompany you. You preserve value that way. She either 1. Was not interested or 2. This was her way of saying "try harder dummy".


Next time CALL her. Texting all the time is lame. She will acknowledge that you have balls.

thanks for the tip, ill be sure to call her next time. as for now, how long should I wait before calling her again?

hey mate,

look, for most of the 'mindgames' in seduction, there is a few conditions to be met in order for them to be effective.

Playing hard to get only works if the target considers you of enough value. THen if it is just out of reach, they will persue. THen you get even harder to get, and they will persue even more.

In this scenario, she lost interest. she doesnt really care anymore of you are withing reach or not, as she is no longer reaching.

with her answer about the smoothy bar, i dont know if she was testing you or not. But she is calling you out. You make it sound like it is the smoothy bar that is so interesting (which is only partly true) while it is doing something together that makes your fire burn. So basically she says: why would you need me to go to this smoothy bar if it is smoothies you want so badly?

Next time, be more honest. Tell her you want to meet up with her! if she asks why, tell her you want to get to know her better. Then if she agrees, where will you go? well perhaps this smoothy bar you wanted to try out.

One last question: why would you call this girl again? She clearly has no more interest in you. Perhaps, if you are quite direct, you still have a shot, but i wouldnt count on it.

cheers and good luck!

_________________
"Stop being a fucking vagina and escalate" - CaptainJackHarkness

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.
placebo - every me, every you

Thanks for the responses, after the text she basically responded LOL. then she found out it was my birthday and responded
"omg it was your brithday hp bday!! "

how should i respond to this and should i just ignore it? thanks guys

We don't know the motivation behind her words. To speculate, quite honestly is a waste of time and energy. It is more worthwhile to focus on what's happening in the present.

That said, being direct with a woman is sometimes the best option. Being direct demonstrates to her and more importantly yourself that you can take the lead (as most women have been conditioned to expect) and aren't afraid to take risks (e.g. putting it all out on the line by letting her know you like her). That said, being direct all the time is not a good thing as it can be a seduction killer - speaking in concrete direct language leads little room for imagination, for her to fantasize and get swept away into a seduction.

For the time being, a more direct approach is better suited to the occasion. Rather than ""sure, good idea, ill do that", your reply could be "I have a lot of self-control, true, but smoothies are my kryptonite...if I go alone I'll drink it all to myself get too fat and you wont love me anymore:("

Seriously, there's nothing wrong with telling a girl you want to go out with her. If she's not interested at least you'll know and no longer have to waste your time pursuing her with childish games.