Ok, so I went out with my roommate and another friend last night.

We go to a club.

I see a girl that has been a server to me at a bar and grill my buddy and I go to. The last time she saw me (as a server), I'm making out with this girl and going on about how the girl is buying me free drinks. Me and this server have/had a flirty vibe. I'd call us acquaintances, but only via her job.

Server girl is NOT working this night - she's just out with her girlfriend.

She recognizes me first, and then I recognize her.

We talk for a few minutes, and we think it's funny that we get to meet each other in a non-professional context, because we were vaguely flirty at her work.

I ask her for her number, because like, we genuinely seem to have gotten along.

She takes my phone, says "This doesn't mean I am going to fuck you."

Looks at it. Almost puts in her number. Then stops. Says "You'll see me around anyway."

We stop talking shortly after.

Talk to her for a minute about an hour later, ask her if she wants to dance, she says no, she's tired right now (she was sitting down, by herself, looked tired). Seems legitimate, but idk.

Anyway, end of the night comes (about 2 hours later). I'm walking out with my roommate.

She runs past us (our backs were to her), away from some guy she had been dancing with on the dance floor.

Her and her friend are SUPER drunk.

I see these guys chasing them, and the girls are like "Go, go!" to one another, to get away from the guys.

They run outside alone. They're drunk, I ask if they're ok. The guys run outside after them. I'm thinking they're aggressively going after drunk girls and try to intervene. One of the guys says "We're friends. Who the hell are you?"

I try to sorta stop them from doing anything to the girls, the girl I like, Server girl, has her boot knocked off during the whole exchange.

I lean down to help lift her up to put it back on at the same time the guys get to the group - one of the guys starts like touching her *I THINK*

She yells "STOP TOUCHING ME" - I can't tell to who, whether to me or to the other guy, while I am lifting her up so her sock isn't in the god damn rain puddle. She doesn't like, push me away, and she's leaning on me as I help her put her shoe on.

She and her friend run away from the group of us 4 guys (two of them, me and my roommate) into the street. It is obvious they are SUPER drunk. A car is coming, but slowly. They get out of the way.

I say "We should call a cab for them."

The guys are like "No, we're their friends." They cross the street.

My roommate and I follow.

I overhear the guys talking about some strange dudes who were following them, and they see me and my roommate down the sidewalk, point and say "THAT'S THEM!"

Server girl sees us and just looks super embarrassed. Whether to be seen by us or because of us, I can't tell. She does a drunk face palm, and me and my roommate walk away.



What in the literal fuck happened? I believe they didn't know those guys before this evening, they wanted to get away, and were drunk as hell. The guys didn't know who I was, but I knew the two girls (Server girl more than her friend). They just saw me randomly get involved towards the end.

I can't tell if Server girls facepalm was a "WTF IS HAPPENING" drunk look or a "wow, this is super embarrassing with guys I like" moment.

I am tempted to go to the place she's working tonight and make sure she's ok - grab a quick dinner.

Would that be weird? Considering my prior interactions with her, I don't think so. She clearly thinks of me sexually, and this would be a way to bolster the "hey, I'm actually interested in you as a person as well".

Or would it be weird/pushy? I think the fact that I've built comfort intermittenly over the past few months and she was SOOOOOOOOO drunk would make it ok.

I can't tell if Server girls facepalm was a "WTF IS HAPPENING" drunk look or a "wow, this is super embarrassing with guys I like" moment.


If I were you, I would assume the latter... Just go to her and bust her balls on being drunk and causing a scene in the street. Keep a cocky funny frame.

You can even push pull, if you are capable and game on from there.

Bucc

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I could not tread these perilous paths in safety, if I did not keep a saving sense of humor. -Admiral Horatio Nelson

...don't go to her work. That would definatly be weird, especially if you have been misinterpreting things a little bit.
I find myself in your shoes often--I know that I'm a good guy, and that my intentions are benign and pure, but I forget that the girl whom I have met only briefly doesn't know that yet. To her, we are just another guy that she has met briefly, and trust me, you weren't the only guy in her life that has had a small bit of flirty/sexual conversation with her.
It sounds to me like she was out with her friends. Plain and simple. You come in, exaggerating your own importance in her eyes, and overlook the fact that she's out on the town with her crew--both guys ang girls. The dudes are thinking, "who the fuck is this?" And the girl is thinking what a cluster fuck it is, she probably can even see (no matter how drunk she is) what is going through your head too, which is honestly probably a turn off. I could be wrong, but this is my initial reaction to what you have described.
Don't go out of your way to see this girl (at least, not blatantly). Next time you see her, don't even mention that night. As an alpha, you've gotta lett shit just roll off. Just talk to her as if SHE is just another girl you've come across. Good luck.

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Here to learn more.

Freedurk, did you read the entirety of my posting? I'm not trying to be defensive (criticism is good for improvement), but I don't really think you're aiming your advice specifically at my situation.

I'm not certain where you're getting that I exaggerated my importance to her - I briefly talked to her and we both remarked it was funny that we saw each other outside of her work. The connection with her wasn't based on a sexual/flirty conversation. It was based on the fact that we've interacted, intermittently, over the course of months, cracking jokes when she serves me, and I have been hitting on other girls.

The girls were running away, outside of the bar, away from the guys. I mean, yea, that could be playful tag among friends, I suppose, but it just seems unlikely to me. Until the end of the evening, I didn't see the guys and the girls hanging out together. Again, not ironclad - they could have been friends.

I'm not sure what portion of "Want to protect a girl from aggressive drunk guys, and willing to get into a confrontation (and nearly did so) to do so" would be unattractive to a girl.

I'm not sure precisely what shit I would be letting to roll off - nothing bad happened to me.

Additional note:

The "STOP TOUCHING ME" was directed at them, not me, according to a text from my roommate just now. Whether he's being honest or not, not sure.

hrm, does anyone else have any substantive analysis?

So far I've gotten a positive "GO FOR IT!" and a negative "DON'T GO FOR IT, YOU'RE MISREADING IT"

I'll probably try to meet her, because what do I have to lose otherwise?

i did read the whole post, and i must have forgotten or overlooked the part saying that you have had months of interactions with her. that does indeed change things. i apologize for that.

by, "letting it roll off", im just saying, dont ask her a shit ton of heavy questions about the event, showing that its been on your mind like crazy. she has probably forgotten all about it. sure, go see her sometime soon, (i say within a few days, not like, NOW,) and just talk to her. bring up the situation later in the convo if she doesnt first. like" ...btw, wthell happened the other night outside the bar...?"

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Here to learn more.

You are overanalyzing, and too dependent on the outcome.

If you meet her again, at her work or not, the situation will be just as dynamic as the last one. And this time you are more prepared right?

So just go for it: its a win/win. You win because you can get the girl OR you win because you won't get the girl and learned a good lesson.

I know its hard to see it that way, but you have to start letting go of the outcome and not let us decied what's best for you. I advice from my point of view and what I would do in your situation is go meet her again and strike up a conversation and start busting her balls.

greetz

Bucc

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I could not tread these perilous paths in safety, if I did not keep a saving sense of humor. -Admiral Horatio Nelson

"This doesn't mean I am going to fuck you."

My reply to the above statement would have been "Oh yes it absolutely does! As a matter of fact don't put your number in my phone, I don't want to mess up our professional relationship" Take your phone back and turn to walk away...

If you are interested in this girl, then effing go for it! What do you have to lose?


Peace...

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Crypto...
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All girl's are Freaks...It is your job to bring it out in them! - Crypto

You need to stop bending over and letting her ass fuck your brain! - Heywood

lol, I wouldn't ask heavy questions - just enough to be like "wanted to make sure you were ok" - she can take that as she will and explain as much or as little as she wants. I'm not dating her, I don't care for her life story. I'd even laugh when asking about the evening.

I'm just protective and concerned.

After that, I'd flirt and laugh and forget about the evening.

I guess I'm mostly torn about whether an early (i.e. tonight) strategy or a later (few days from now) strategy work better.

I'm like 90% sure she works at one place tomorrow, and idk where she works the rest of the week (she has two jobs). Supposedly she's seen me at the second (I have been known to go there) but I haven't seen her.

And based on all your replies, might as well go for it tonight.

I need to get over outcome dependency! I'm getting quite good at it with first interactions (not perfectly) but one on one meets with girls I like are harder.

Why be so overtly hung up on one fucking girl, why even worry about it? Go on with life. Look for other girls! If life brings you back to her work...fucking game her if you feel like it, or anywhere else you may run into her.

Why stalk her down? There are many other options.

Chalk it up to "One of those nights". And roll on!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Wanting to talk to a girl again doesn't seem like that much effort to me.

Just asking a question about her.

She could completely shut me down tonight (or whenever) and it would make no difference.

I've talked to at least 30 different girls in the past week.

But I very rarely actually get along with any of them/like them.

At her work now, she seems to be pretty positive about the whole thing. Asked me if I was ok, which doesn't make sense to me.

Very touchy and seemed surprised and pleased to see me. Possibly even a bit shocked I came to see she was alright. Sitting at the bar now but I'll switch to a table of hers when my friend gets here

The longer you wait to make a "move" on this girl the more likely you are to get the dreaded LJBF comment. Going and talking to her is not the same as going and flirting, KINOing, and kissing her...You need to escalate. Hope this turns out well for you Bro!


Peace...

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Crypto...
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All girl's are Freaks...It is your job to bring it out in them! - Crypto

You need to stop bending over and letting her ass fuck your brain! - Heywood

Can't really be touching all up on her at work (and she KINOed me, so that was a good sign).
Not really worried about any sort of friend zone - I don't even know if it's possible for a girl to friend zone me. If a girl doesn't like me - she doesn't talk to me again. If she does, she'll fuck me.

Plus, if a girl legitimately friend zoned me, that'd be AWESOME. I need more female wings