Assertive and aggressive are not the same thing. According to
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assertiveness , assertiveness is "a form of behavior characterized by a confident declaration or affirmation of a statement without need of proof; this affirms the person's rights or point of view without either aggressively threatening the rights of another (assuming a position of dominance) or submissively permitting another to ignore or deny one's rights or point of view. ... Aggressive people do not respect the personal boundaries of others and thus are liable to harm others while trying to influence them." So take care not to go from non-assertive all the way to aggressive, balance is the key. Since assertiveness is situationally dependent, Puaninja's suggestion may be assertive at the right time, but come off as very aggressive at other times.
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One of the most useful things you will ever learn about
body language.