I've been trying too hard on this girl I work with, and after 3+ mths I realized it's not happening and I want to get out elegantly. I *really* want to keep her as a friend because we have an interest few others share, except I'm not going to do the stuff I used to do for her.

How do I say "let's keep doing X together but I'm not interested in you anymore"?

- Went on shitloads of non-dates, 2-3 'real' dates. never flaked til recently. Sudden increase in IODs. Minimal kino and very little IOIs
- Once told her I like her then fled the scene So she knows. AFC-ed like a doormat, so she probably knew anyway.
- Last week she publicly told our officemates I was "barking up the wrong tree" but she didn't say this was in relation to herself. My reaction was to look so sad afterwards someone asked me what's wrong
- Can't really freeze out (?) since we work at the same non-profit

Goals:
Top: not let other girls at our workplace know I was rejected (this is correct, right? but they all have this radar..)
2nd: keep this friend with a rare common interest
3rd: don't let this affect work. She's starting to undermine my work to shut me out

Possible actions:
- Telling her LJBF before she gets the chance. She might not believe me. Or she might just say she don't understand and I will be forced into admitting that I liked her before, which I don't feel like doing right now.
- Just freeze out anyway, avoid talking at work and look bored when I need to
- Ignore the whole situation and continue working together and asking her out as a friend. I want to keep this friend, but she keeps flaking though as she still thinks I'm interested, and this gets annoying (and degrading).

One tricky thing is she is intensely jealous of my every success, both personal and professional. She is also disturbed when I get IOIs from female coworkers who are all younger and prettier than her. I think she mostly wanted someone to reject to boost her self-esteem.

On another point, I flirt with the girls a lot in front of her --- should I not have done that?

Buddy. I was in a similar situation. What did I do? Completely shut her down. Never get angry with her. Never hate her. Just respond to the questions that she asks with a polite NO. don't do things with her that you used to do. Think again do you really want a friend, that you already don't have. Don't ever agree with her on LJBF. Run this game for 1 to 2 weeks. Pretend to be very happy and keep that smile on. Flirt with other girls as much as you can. And take the ugliest one out on a lunch date. Keep ignoring the girl. When she does the things alone that you used to do together she will have to think of the fun that you were having together. You will sense the subtle changes in her. She will try hard to hit on you. Don't give in yet. When the right moment comes strike your prey and don't let her think. Be confident and she will be yours forever. And always remember the game is on till the prey is alive. She might even flirt with some of your friends. That's all to make you jealous. Perseverance is the key and never get disheartened! Keep it going.

You could do her like I did this chick on facebook who I wanted to remove from my friends list but couldn't find the remove button. She made a post about having lost a total of 114 lbs or some such, and I simply replied "But the stretchmarks will never go away." And POOF, she vanished from my friends list.

Just be a dick, eventually they won't want anything to do with you.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn