I'm gaming this girl who is recently single, known her for a long time. The problem with her is that most of our online conversations are pretty stale. There was a time when she used to initiate conversations with me on facebook and they'd be fine; but now I have to start them and they barely last 5 minutes. She just lets the conversation die out. Same thing with text messages: I text her and I get no reply. But she has a tendency of replying back to my texts on facebook.

On the other hand, when we meet (once a week), she is all over my. I receive heavy IOIs, lots of touching and flirting....it's pretty obvious that she's into me. However, why isn't there this attraction online?

Help a guy out friends, should I just forget about her or can I get something out of this? I've read somewhere that I need to bring closure to this whole ordeal...how do I do that? Not a problem if I have to move on.

PS: When she dumped her ex she came up to me and announced that she was now free and single, with a sort of seductive hint. Guess that's an IOI.

Many thanks!

very low glass ceiling for building attraction online, like texting it'll begin to wane after a bit if there are infrequent to no meetups.

General progression should be online>texting>phone convos>face-to-face

If she's not receptive to meeting you in person keep contact at a minimum and when you are texting ensure it is with a plan to get her out, for the most part, not moving backward from face-to-face to purely online.

You want to move through the progression quite quickly, and if she's keeping things online just don't participate or tell her you prefer real life interaction rather and find prolonged online communication too impersonal, as it makes it difficult to get to know the real person.

You're funny.

If it's "an ordeal" then you should get out of it, period, but why should it be? Because you're not quite sure where she's coming from? What do you expect, she's a woman!

I'll keep to myself to giving one piece of advice which is work hard on your conversational threads, and don't be afraid to cut the ones that aren't working. I chatted to a girl online last night - she was from Wales and I'm from England and we were taking the piss out of each other initially and at one point I tried to return to the Welsh theme and I just didn't feel great about it, so I immediately changed tack. The conversation went like this:

Me: So we were talking about Wales earlier and how "great" it is, what do you think makes it such a good country that I should pay to get into?
[long unresponsive pause]
Me: And more importantly, who would win a fight between Ed the Duck and Bagpuss?
Her: its unspoilt and definately ed the duck
Me: Bagpuss has quite a scared expression on his face, I'm not sure he'd be one to rush into conflict!
Her: he's also to fat and slow
Me: Yeah but with the right training...I reckon Gordon the Gopher could train him up, he looks pretty handy!
Her: maybe he's a bit squeaky tho isnt he
Me: That's just his way of disarming an opponent...
Her: its not a very good tactic though is it
Me: It is though - they think he's harmless and then when they've let their guard down, BAM!
Her: hmmm i dont think i believe that, tbh you're ruining my childhood illusions now lol
Me: Gordon is one dangerous dude, believe it!
Her: no.... i refuse
Me: He's got like 89 kills to his name!
Her: no way! :0o
Me: If you look up on Youtube you can see an interview with Vinnie Jones where he talks about how he ran into Gordon and ended up running away screaming like a girl!
Her: lmfao
Me: Gordon grabbed Vinnie's head and slammed a car door on it repeatedly, till it like REALLY HURT!
Her: well what can i say, i will never look at gordon the same again!

And so it continued for absolutely ages...

I love this conversation because it shows just how much opportunity there is for being shit tested and holding your frame even with something which neither of you have anything invested in. "I don't believe that....I refuse...no way" and then suddenly we end up on the same page (i.e. my page).

None of this would have happened if I hadn't have thought "that question about Wales is a bit lame, I need to improve on that". I offered a new thread and indicated that it was more important, inviting her to focus on that, and ignored the answer she gave to the weak thread without awkwardly going "erm, actually I'm not sure I want to talk about Wales after all, shall we talk about something else?"

Hope that helps man, this girl I was chatting to I haven't met and have only spoken to online so it's a bit different, but the point remains the same: USE DECENT CONVERSATIONAL THREADS IF YOU WANT A DECENT RESPONSE! (The fact you're saying conversation has got stale can almost certainly be attributed to your choice of conversational threads)

Excellent advice both of you, thanks I appreciate it!