for the past 9 months, Robin has been an amazing friend. I have severe pain issues, and it really affects my quality of life. I met Robin in college. we got closer and closer, and she moved back to NYC. over time we shared a lot and she admitted she was attracted to me, but that because of the distance I shouldn't expect anything if I visited. on days that were rough, it felt nice to be able to vent to someone who still treated me as a man

finally I visited New york. I hadn't been out in years, so my game was very B rather than A+. we had a lot of fun, but to be honest I was pressuring her too much. she backed off and said she was attracted to me physically but didn't want anything more. so I backed off and just went back to being myself, rather than looking to her for validation. she became super flirty and genuinely attracted to me. alas, I left to go back home, thinking that she'd be a good friend to keep and maybe in the way future, when I was healthy and I was back to being myself, we could see if there was that same spark. she told me she really cared.

a few weeks after I got home, I crashed hard. i got hit with a major depression again. anyone having experienced depression knows how it makes you irrational. so I turned to Robin again...and this time, she was somehow different. she ALWAYS got back to me immediately to text me that she got my message. but she stopped prioritizing the call. it felt like I had to chase her to get her to call back. we never spoke, even though I said it was an emergency. I got one missed call from her, but when I tried to reschedule she was not too keen.

by coincidence, my other friend had a show in NYC and I came to see her (this is a month after my last NYC trip). I told Robin I was coming, and she said "great! we should hang out." but she made absolutely no effort whatsoever. in my irrational state, I went with a few friends to visit her at work. she wasn't there. rather than coming off as confident and suave, it was def needy. she made no effort to see me whatsoever.

Okay so let me explain what advice I need because this is kinda a weird situation. This is a woman who I realllllly valued as a friend. In a perfect world, I would have liked to keep her as a friend. now I know I f*ed up in the sense I came off as needy... I didn't do anything horrible, I just was way to eager. so I understand that she was no longer attracted, and placed me on low priority.

I came home and have not messaged or talked to her for a month. I'm genuinely unsure what to do. this woman was important to my life, but it seems she doesn't feel the same way. but am I expecting too much, since she isnt my gf? she's treated me so well, but I can't help but to feel like she treated me well when I was a dating option in her mind...and now she's over it. but she's also busy and dating others.

if I didn't talk to her for a year, and then came back and was changed (my prognosis is another 2-3 months, and then I can really work on getting my life back together), she'd jump right back into being close friends. she has a very raw physical attraction to me. I guess what I'm asking is, is it her fault for blowing me off considering how needy I acted? or is this a character flaw of hers, and she's showing her true self?

I could continue to not talk to her...not ignore her, but not initiate. just be indifferent. or I could message her and be very forthright, and say something like "robin, I respect your boundaries and time constraints. but I am struggling right now I deserve being treated with respect. you cannot see how strong I have to be everyday, and you only see the clingy side. please be clear with me how you feel in regards to being my friend, because I will go find someone else who genuinely cares about me if you do not." something like that, but that doesnt come off as needy.

I AM gaming other girls, so my concern here is that I value my friendships. but this girl had been great forever, she has a good heart, I don't want to lose the friendship but I also don't know what to do

tl;dr
I have major pain issues. I acted needy and it turned off a friend. not sure if she's justified or she has character flaw