What to say to a girl that wants to be "exclusive"



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PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2012 6:44 pm 
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Met this girl only a week ago and now she comes at me wanting to be exclusive and doesn't want me to be with anyone else. How do I tiptoe around this with still keeping the sex going?


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2012 8:03 pm 
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Met this girl only a week ago and now she comes at me wanting to be exclusive and doesn't want me to be with anyone else. How do I tiptoe around this with still keeping the sex going?
i don't think this is something you can 'tiptoe' around, is it?

either you want to be exclusive with her...or you don't. just be honest with her. seems pretty simple to me.

I'll admit a week is a little soon for talk of exclusivity. accuse her of getting all 'Glenn Close' on you...that might see her backing off a little.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2012 9:15 pm 
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Really, you must make clear what you want. If you don't want this, just be honest with her and tell her, "I need more time before I can be exclusive. I want to get to know you more. You seem like a cool person blablabla" whatever you feel you have to say, say it. Don't be harsh if you don't want exclusivity.

But in all honesty, after a week, that seems quite clingy to me.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 12:12 am 
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Ok listen carefully, credits to Todd from RSD.

Fuck me, this is long but yeah say this and you're good.

"It's wrong how you've brought this up like this. You basically gave me an ultimatum which is fucked up. So, do you want a relationship where we have a label, and we have to live up to that boyfriend girlfriend label? Or do you want a relationship where we enjoy our time together an every moment that were together it's because we've chosen that's what we want more than anything in the world? Which one sounds healthier to you?

That's why I don't believe in rules and things being set in stone. I know this is wrong for me to say right now. It's unfair for me to say it in this context and I want you to know I'm not using this for emotional blackmail, it's not like that at all. I do need you to know this, because it's extremely important to the conversation. That 'her name' I do love you. Regardless if we never see each other again after today. Even if you walk away and never comeback and we never ever see each other again, there's a part of me that will probably always love you. I will always respect you as a person and I don't want to hurt you.

So that being said, if us being together is hurting you, if it's causing you more pain than it is pleasure, then leave right now. Because I don't want to be a source of pain for you. Within the context of what I care about, it goes like this. Me (put one finger up), you (put two fingers up), then us (put 3). I care far more about you as a person and that you're happy and that you live a fufillng life than I care about us. I'm not going to cling onto this whole idea about us just because it's labeled us. I want you to be happy. The other thing I want you to know, if you go away, and we don't see each other, the door will be open for you. I'm not a hateful person, I'm a forgiving person. You can always comeback, feel free. The door will always be open for you UNTIL one day when it won't be.

Because there may come a time in my life, like right now I'm exploring things with myself, I have to find out things about myself, I'm on a path of growth. And I'm young yet. And I make mistakes. If I settle down now, with you, or with any other girl for the matter without reaching my full potential and I will always look back and regret it. And I would hate for our relationship to be filled with regret. Because at some point I would look at you and hate you for depriving me of that experience. And i don't want to hate you. There will come a time where I'll want to be with just one girl, and settle down, but if you're not there at the time, well the door won't be there for you anymore. I just want you to know, that the door will always be opened fr you until it's not.

Now I don't want you to make decision about this now, like I said the way you brought things up is wrong, and it's not to be discussed. But I want you to leave now, and think about it, and come to me and let me know. And I want to let you know, that no matter what, I'm okay with your decision. I don't want you to leave me, I don't us to be over. I'd want you to say that you love me too and that you want us to be together. But I'll deal with whatever, whatever you need to do to make yourself happy, go do it."

I've used this three times, when girls bring up exclusivity. And this is a great way to make sure that your relationship is OPEN. No strings attached etc..


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