For fuck's sake, third time now this happened.

So this girl and I had a date today. She came over, we cooked some pasta, danced and slow-danced to music. Everything good.

We then went out onto a hill to watch the meteor shower.

I kissed her there and we made out a lot, dry humping.

We then go back to mine to "finish the wine".

End up in my room. I escalate slowly. No resistance. A lot of kissing, a lot of dry humping. I unbutton her shirt, and then take off her second shirt, so she's there in a bra.

My shirt comes off.

I go down on her belly-button, meanwhile fingering her from the outside of her pants (couldn't reach inside round the back, tried a few times).

Keep making out. Stalling.

She then says "This is where we should stop." I respond with "I know, we should stop right now" and continue to make out.

She then has me on my back, half on top of me, rubbing my penis from the outside. A long look between us as she's still rubbing (is this where I should have just unfastened my belt?)

She then says "I need to go." I just respond with "OK," and continue to look at her.

End of story. She backs off. Puts her shirt back on, meanwhile I'm just going through my iTunes. She calls a taxi, asks me where my street is. I tell her.

Move toward the front door, and end up kissing on the cheek (WTF?) She wasn't cold. But not even a kiss as she leaves, just two cheek kisses. OK.

WTF did I do wrong here. This is really getting to me. Fuck. I have a feeling this is it and I won't see her anymore.

This was a Day 3 btw.

Any suggestions appreciated.

EDIT: Add on question - Any rule as to who's clothes come off first? She wasn't taking them off herself, but wasn't resisting when I took off her tops. When it comes to pants?

Hey Bro,

Sounds like you ran some pretty solid game, also with freeze out and IOI and IOD at same time.

I think you may have displayed to much interest at some time. Girls like what they can't get. Probably during escalation you should have said: "whoa, slow down". You are both responsible for escalating but also slowing things down at times, to make her feel safe around you. Futhermore, this set the frame of you being the prize.

PS always best to let girl undress you/ take off your shirt. -> Hoop theory & you don't want to come off as forward.

Hopes this helps mate.

I can't think of anything you actually did wrong here, though I agree with the other post that it probably would have helped to say "slow down" at some point when things were moving fast, to make her more comfortable.

Also, during escalation, did you both get really quiet? It seems strange, but if some form of verbal element continues as you get closer to sex, you can more easily tell what the woman is thinking. Often a woman can be passionately making out or grinding while she is changing her mind about the whole thing, or starting to worry about seeming slutty, etc.

Occasionally saying something, asking a question, or even a joke allows you to keep her mind occupied, to help her feel more comfortable, manage expectations about the affair, and allow you to tell when she is starting to have regrets or ASD may be kicking in. It keeps her thinking of you as the wonderful person she became attracted to all night instead of as a big, hairy body groping all over her or whatever.

I'm not saying you should spew a constant stream of words at her, just don't let there be total silence for too long until the LMR has been vanquished. Ask what feels best as you're playing with her tits or fingering her, tell her that you want to please her, add in dirty talk, or even some canned material meant to distract. Anything can help keep her from going through the motions while thinking about what her friends would think if they saw her now, or something like that. One that I really like, and that can help her feel less pressure, is to stop while things are getting really hot and tell her that you have a rule that you will not have sex with her unless you have already gotten her off at least once*. You want her to concentrate on her own sexual pleasure more than anything else.


*A good rule to have anyway: If you do get her off by fingering her, eating her out, playing with tits, or any combination of these, she will naturally want to fuck you more, and the sex will be way better. Most women come down from one orgasm about halfway to the next. I've even experienced a woman not being able to cum during foreplay, but enjoying it so much she was actually begging for sex--during which she did. Telling her the rule demonstrates value--no woman likes the guy who just wants to get his rocks off and makes her feel like a sock he jacks off into.

_________________
魔鬼身体

Thanks guys. I think I really should've just taken off my pants when she was rubbing. That was the moment and I didn't take it. Fuck my life.

So she sent me a text when she got home at 2AM:

"Dear Tr@veler I've just seen a meteorite Thank you for the tasty pasta and for this evening I am safely at home in bed. sleep well..."

Next time just fuck her.

Haha, that cracked me up. Classic.

I'm actually not too good with LMR either. But what was posted so far does make sense.

Hey mate,

ok, is your report on how things escalated detailed? I mean, is this what happened or did much more happen? This is important, because from what i read, i only see somebody pushing for sex, but later more on this.

I dont really know why she resisted as i wasnt there and i dont really know what to do to counter it for 100%, but when you think of it.... The last time i had LMR was back when i still did indirect game and i actually tried to... how should i put it... trick her into be my sextoy. I think this might be your problem.

when i take a girl to either her place or my place, she knows we are going to fuck. Because i have already told her i want to fuck her. If she is still there, its either my place or her place, what is the closest or the most available.

You can reply with: but but but, isnt sex implied when she comes with me to my place? Well, in the words of Juggler: sexual obsession is implied, sex with her and because of who she is, isnt....

so if direct is not your thing, then we go to the next topic... when i read this report, i see you pushing for sex. You are interested in sex, and at that time and place, you dont care who you have sex with. You might as well masturbate. You go from kissing to going down on her bellybutton to dryhumping.... I can imagine there was some caressing in there, but i think you solely touched her so you can get your hand to her boobs or pussy asap (i might be wrong here, that is why i ask you if your report is detailed enough).

But in any case, you need to get rid of that mindset! You took her home, so there must be something about her that you like except for her body! Between you and me, the thing i like the most about women, the thing that beats beauty to some degree, is sensuality/sexuality, showing me a glimpse of their true woman nature. A girl who can do that to me and i am sold... if she aint a total freak or dramaqueen .

So instead of thinking about having sex, think about having sex with her! She isnt really turned on by you dryhumping her. She isnt going to be turned on by you going down on her bellybutton. She is however going to be turned on by you wanting to have sex with her! You want sex with her because... yeah why? Think about it! Because that look in her eyes makes you horny beyond recognition! tell her! Because when you look at her belly you want to kiss it, caress it, discover every inch of that beautifull body! Discover her!! Kiss her neck, her shoulders, kiss her boobs all around, her nipples. Let that pussy be for a while, caress her!

The greatest female sex organ is not her pussy, nor her clit. hell, some people would say: its her skin, and they would be wrong as well. The biggest female sex 'organ' is her mind! So give her a treat! Tell her how hard you are for her, tell her you love the way she kisses you. Tell her you love the way how she plays with you, tell her you think she turns you on because she has this sexual vibe... this sexual "je ne sais quoi"... Tell her what you want to do with her... tell her you know how hard it is, to be this good girl in the outside world, while she is craving for muscle bending sex! Tell her you understand how hard it is to hide her desires, but that you understand she has them! Its natural. Tell her how you are going to fill that pussy, completely, with your cum. Tell her it is your pussy, for this evening alone, it is your pussy, these are your boobs. You love those boobs of her, because you think they are beautifull. tell her to fuck you like an animal, tell her you are going to fuck her like an animal and she will love it!

this might be a great progress for 'eliminating LMR'. And what is LMR, when you think of it? If you would put yourself into her and you see this guy (a dude you like) putting his hands all over you just because he wants to come... i wouldn't want the sex either actualy.

Whether you are facing LMR or not, you need to pull women into your world of sexual temptation mate. Pull her in and experience sex together! Why? Because she is who she is (and at t hat point, somewhere in the back of her head she knows that there are many girls who are who they are, but at that moment of time, its only her that counts). Guide her into a world of temptations, show her all the things you can do.

CHeers mate, i hope it helped!

_________________
"Stop being a fucking vagina and escalate" - CaptainJackHarkness

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.
placebo - every me, every you

LD makes some really good points here.

My basic perspective:

She was obviously attracted enough and comfortable enough with you to have a nice evening with you at your place, and even make out, maybe have sex. But (from your report it seems) you moved too fast and probably failed to really turn her on with your hands (may have actually turned her off) and she got uncomfortable. Either that or you moved too fast and she wasn't comfortable with being turned on with you, yet. Only you can know if either of the above are true. She may have been rubbing on your cock cause she felt somehow obligated, or because she was actually turned on. Hard to tell from here.

As LD said, sounds like you were pushing for sex, racing to the finish line, and because of this you lost her. Yes, be sexual, touch her, make out, but you have to tease her and make her REALLY want you BEFORE you even touch her pussy. TAKE YOUR TIME. It pays off. You also can't be touching mechanically, in ways you THINK will turn her on fast, like touching her boobs. You have to feel the woman, and enjoy feeling her. And as LD said, enjoy feeling HER, not just some boobs that have a pussy attached to them, that you are SO trying to get your dick into. Don't even try. Just enjoy making out with her, turning her on. Things will escalate naturally from there. If you can make out well, you will GET LAID - so long as you don't freeze up and have your own sort of LMR. Think about HER turn-on and how good it feels for her when you take your time, touch her all over, kiss... If you turn her on enough, SHE will take your cock out.

Most of the time, IMO, if a guy is taking his cock out, and she hasn't even started trying, hasn't started unbuttoning his pants, she will only touch it or suck it out of a feeling of obligation. And that's no good for anybody and you probably won't ever see her again.

BTW, you should NEVER have a woman running away, having to leave during or immediately after a make-out. It means you made big mistakes in the make-out. She should have felt comfortable to de-escalate and stay, hang out, cuddle - and you should have had the f'ing patience to allow that to happen. Make out, cuddle, no sex one night; make out, have sex, cuddle the next time. If you don't want that, you'll have to just really be very effective with your hands, cause it sounds like your game is pretty good up to that point.

_________________
"Fundamental sincerity is the only proper basis for forming relationships."
-易經 (Yi Jing), 8.1; Wilhelm-Baynes

I've been away from this forum for a few months having been quite oversexed myself and just avoiding forums in general as the scamming plagues themselves. Traveler, I remember giving you advice before...ignore all mental masturbation....

You did nothing wrong. Pants off or not, you did what you felt like in the moment. Sucks you spent 3 days to just get some useless grinding going...but whatever. It happens.

Pickup is largely a numbers game with next to no real solid outer game tactics...just a lot of mental theory bullshit (RSD) and just a bunch of other bullshit on bullshit. End of the day, do what you feel like with a girl, always be direct (because sex is direct and guys who "don't feel like being direct" are lying to themselves), and escalate. She's not
Putting out?

NEXT!

Good Luck friend,

Captain Jack Harkness

Hey guys, thanks for all the replies.

We had a Day4 today, everything went well, but again, LMR. I went further this time though. A lot will tell me to move on. But here's what happened:

Met up at the station near my place, the plan was to get chinese food at 5PM, then go to my place to watch a movie.

Anyway, to cut the story short, we did grab food, went back to mine, and I began again.

I did a lot of push pull. Slowly but surely my top came off, and after the first freeze-out and Riker's 3 rules, so did hers, there she is in a bra and some see-through leggings.

More grinding, my hand goes inside her leggings, inside her panties, slowly but surely I'm fingering her. She's liking it.

BUT resistance still high. Second freeze-out. E-mail, whatever.

I go a third time, more fingering, more grinding to the point we're both actually about to cum, but again stop. She goes "I need to tell you something." "What?" "We're not gonna have sex." "Tell me more."

More grinding.

"You like sex a lot, huh?"

I reply with an honest "Yeah."

She says "Why?" (These are all fucking shit tests)

"Because I think it's something normal, and enjoyable. If you have a problem with it you can tell me."

More grinding, and then I just cut it off back to my laptop.

"Are you angry?"

"No," with a smile. "I don't need sex." LOL I actually verbalized it.

"There are a million reasons."

"About what?"

"About why I can't have sex."

"OK."

Clothes go back on, I take her back to the station, literally not giving a shit about not having sex, I'm just horny but whatever.

Kiss goodbye at the station. "Get home safe."

She was horny, but something is holding her back. I didn't ask her what, because there was no point. I dunno wtf it could be, I was actually expecting "I can't have sex because I've got a disease" or some shit, but I use a condom. I said it to her "I always use a condom with someone I sleep with for the first time."

Anyway. There's something more to this than I know, and it's outta my control. Fucked up thing is she's like an 8.5-9. Damn, oh well.


And CaptainJack, nice to have you back man. I'm looking forward to your directness.