Recently came across this site, and thought I'd post for your opinions. Your feedback would be very appreciated.

Background - Never had a full conversation with the girl, would only exchange smiles and the occasional "hey, how are you". But the attraction was there without a doubt, at least in my mind. I didn't pursue because I thought she had a BF (which, I learned she doesn't), and I have a GF.

Through the grapevine at work (mutual girl friend), I was told this hot girl in another department would be down to "rip and dip" and that it's a sure thing; with out any cares what so ever of my current situation. She knows that I know of this info...supposedly. So, when I had the chance after my shift, 2 days after the confirmation, I went to her department (fitting rooms). I asked to try something on, then when I came out, I went up to her and asked her out for a drink...

me- Hey, what's up?.. Can I talk to you for a second?

girl- Sure, what's up?

me- I was wondering if you'd like to go out for a drink sometime.

girl- Sure, that sounds cool.

me- cool, well, let me get your # so I can message you with the plans.

gives me her number, I dial it on my phone, and text her there, so it's saved.

me- Awesome, I'll message you soon. You have my # now, so if you wanna talk, just hit me up. See you later.

The entire convo was really ackward, as one guy was staring at me the entire time, and another guest interrupted.


The following day, I text her a little after 11 a.m. while I'm driving to work.

"Hey (girls name). Thanks for your "permission" to use the fitting rooms. Did anyone else harass you?"

No reply. No biggie.

I see her later that day at work; she's walking towards me while I'm walking towards her direction, we make eye contact, in the middle of my greeting she shifts her eyes towards a coworker and starts talking to him. I play it off like nothing and just keep walking where I was heading. At that point I think she is trying to play hard to get, no biggie. She knows my objective, I already laid the cards in front of her, it was her turn to make a move.

I get home, and tell the mutual friend what happened that day. Then I learned, I accidentally took down the last digit of her # wrong. Friend also tells me, the girl is having second thoughts, because I have a GF. So, I'm a little frustrated, and tell the friend to give her my # and text me. she text's me 5 minutes later saying:

girl - Hey it's (name), I don't mean to be mean or anything but I'm not really interested in you in that way.

15 minutes later...

me- cool no loss

......

So what do you guys think? Where did I go wrong, or what could I have done to play it better? Is it still salvageable?

Where did you go wrong?

...By having a girlfriend. Cheating on your girlfriend in an impulse situation is one thing. Going out of your way to cheat on her is another thing. Do the poor girl a favor and break up with her.

Fair enough, I guess. Any other suggestions from the forum? Another bit of info on her; She is 20, I'm 26.. and she has all the younger boys her age in the store, after her.. worshiping her. It was written in stone that she does not mind my situation, and sees men straying as someting natural.

100% agreed. Kudos to that girl for having second thoughts. Owl, can I borrow you IRL? I've got a couple friends that need to hear that.

I didn't know when I registered here that could meet people with preaching abilities.
May be any other forum, but here?!? lol

Why don't you leave the guy to decide for himself about his GF and focus on the target girl instead? I know everyone has opinion, but let say pro instance - Are you sure his GF doesn't cheat for sure?
Leaving this aside.

@FreakShow
DO your game, and try to get what you want.
YOu are the only person who decides for himself what to do with his life overall.

You shouldn't let other people know about this affair, but you already did.
So the girl knows you have a GF.
The only thing I could suggest is to stop texting her. To call her in a 2-3 days and take her out to explain. Then don't explain anything just flirt and try to have fun.

_________________
“Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another.”
Madonna

Why does it matter if his girlfriend is cheating or not?

...Look he can do what he wants but to me there's two simple options for us.

1. Date multiple people/Have sex with multiple people.
2. Be in a committed relationship.

Trying to do both is just selfish and also the move of someone with no confidence. If having sex with this 20 year old is really what you want to do, then breaking up with the current girlfriend should be a no brainer. Most people who do this sort of thing really don't want to be with the current girl anymore but are scared if they screw it up they'll have nothing.

Trust me, I know the feeling. I'm no saint and have been in similar situations myself.

Do you think the girls act the same way? Just saying.

There is nothing between FreakShow and the 20 years old girl to push him to break up with his current GF.
Do you think girls break up every time with their BFs when flirt with other guys at work or in public?

I didn't like your approach because his question was not should I break with my GF but what to do with the target girl. And you started GF, GF, GF...

_________________
“Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another.”
Madonna

His question was where he went wrong. How is having a girlfriend not the answer? I mean it's as clear as day.

This was not a simple flirting/conversation with a female other than his girlfriend. This is a situation where he heard a girl wanted to "rip and dip" him. So yes, I do think that involves breaking up with your girlfriend.

owlstoop,
From my earlier posts;

she does not mind my situation, and sees men straying as someting natural.

I was told this hot girl in another department would be down to "rip and dip" and that it's a sure thing; with out any cares what so ever of my current situation



1. I'm not in a serious committed relationship, but I'm also not going to break up a sure thing, for just one "rip and dip".

2. Yes, cheating is horrible, I agree with you Owlstoop.. but truth be told, girls are just as bad.

3. I didn't join the forum for arguments on morals, just advice.

Truth #1 : No woman wants to think of herself as "The Other Woman".

Truth #2 : Woman are attracted to men who are already taken, not because it's scandalous, dangerous and all that.It is, there's not denying it but the major reason is that it's because they want those men for themselves, and they hope that he would leave his current partner for her.


Think about this. And then chart your plan of action ,with her.

You want her to be interested in you, then sure, play up the sexual tension and the banter as much as you want. But, at the same time be sure to give her that glimmer of hope, that elusive fact that maybe you might not be as satisfied and happy in your relationship and that you're looking for it. Maybe in others, maybe in her. And she'll be pulled in hook, line and sinker.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "