Hey

So some of you more than likely read my topics I made about going on a date with this girl.
Went on 4 dates. After the 2nd I started to get hung up on her. Bad I know. I just don't know what I did wrong (in order to better my game next time).

Was I not sexual enough? Did I move to slow. Did we text too much (everyday for almost a month), Too much teasing (she seemed to enjoy it though as it was showing the fun side in both of us). I don't kiss on the first date ever. But I know I should have done so on the second.
I did kiss on the third. I've kino escalated throughout. She was in to it. Lying on her bed arm around her fine, her head on my shoulder, me touching her leg with my hands quite high up her thigh. Touching her hands, hair and face from time to time.

Fourth date we kissed again. Thought it was going okay. It was a double date with her best friend and her best friends date. Once again I thought it went well. Great convo/kino etc. We went back to hers (I felt as if she didn't want me there though). I stayed longer than welcome and think I put her in an awkward position.

She didn't text the next day so I left it. I sent her a text this morning and then got the news. She sent me a long message but it basically boiled down to "....Gonna be honest with you tho, had fun on our dates but I don't think there is anything more there for me than friendship. Have a good day x"

Now I can't get over her. I want to. I want to go out and date other woman but I have NO motivation becuase she was so awesome. She was no 10 but was in to the same music as me, same views and dressed amazing. I can't see myself meeting anyone else like her on POF. She was a rare breed amongst all the skanks that live near me on there and so far POF is my only means. I suck at day game. and night game annoys me and I am bored of it. I've messaged people on there loads but didn't really feel any connection with most unlike with her. We both used to have anxiety, she's still on meds for it, we both rarely drink alcohol, we both could hold conversations for hours (one of our dates at a theme park lasted almost 14 hours and not one awkward silence). Surely the first two are big things to connect on and have an understanding about?

I guess you could say I'm looking for a relationship. Fed up of one night stands. I just can't seem to get out of this rut. It's not oneitis (I've had that before so know how that feels) I guess it's more pissed off about the fact she met up 4 times. She could have easily let me down after 2. She could have rejected my kiss too instead of re-initiating it. But nope she carried on.

Tell it to me straight I don't care I just need any kind of advice to get out of this rut which is destroying my soul. I feel physically sick. I know I sound like a pussy AFC right now having only been on 4 dates but I can't help it. I'm trying to keep myself busy but I don't have many friends where I live at the moment so finding it hard and am ending up being stuck in the house playing things over in my mind.

How do I work on my inner game to stop feeling like this? Right now I have 8 tabs open for potential people to message on POF and I can't bring myself to write a single word. My mind is blank apart from thoughts about her

Any help on how you've overcome stuff like this in the past much appreciated. Thanks

Time for some tough love buddy.

You got rejected, and it hurts, so now your all mushy over it. Get over it.

Also you still seem way to concerned with "her" and not "you". When you are in that moment with a girl where the back of your brain and the bottom of your balls are in agreement "make a move" (or whatever) DO IT.

If you hesitate, you are simply not ready, you are not man enough, you are not in controll. Doesn't make you a bad guy, just means get out there and practice responding to that urge more until you trust it.

I'm not saying be a dick and act on every impulse you have, do it with style, do it with calculation and do it with respect. But god damnit DO IT.

_________________
"Would it be wrong to join sexaholics anonymous to pick-up chicks?" "...yes, and stop eating that baby."

-Psych3r-

Its not over until its over.

She basically sent you one txt and you are done?

Ive had same situation, even a bit worse. In short:
Me: i like you
Her: i like you too, but as a friend, ljbf, can you do that
Me: yea no problem

We hanged out a lot, had the best time with this girl.
That was the reason i decided not to give up. I acted normal, she tried to bring my "i love you" txt up (today i know she only wanted me to say it in person, afc as i was i did it over txt, facepalm ) but i didnt bite. Anyways, this was the first meeting and she actually started kinoing me more and i was like "i just fucked things up with my best friend" but all she was doing was trying to get me to make the move.

Long story short, we kissed few weeks later and even right before that she gave me te ljbf speech. I was like yea im down with that 100% and kissed her few minutes later. But i felt NOTHING (which was kind of weird as i could imagine living happily ever after with her)and from then we are best friends (not sure if she feels the same or did i just fz her.)

Why am i sayin you my story.

When a woman says ljbf there is a good possibility that she doesnt really mean that OR you are doing something wrong- usually not enough kino.

So my advice to you- as in my story, agree that you also think it's better to remain only friends because she is too good of a friend for you and you have too much fun with her to ruin it all just because of sex - women love that line, you show you have other options, at the same time appearing not needy and showing you value friendship more than sex.

Then, just be a fun person to be around, go out of her house when its fun and not when she can't wait for you to get out. Escalate, and if she still hangs out with you, you are good to go.

Do you care to tell more what happened when you "stayed longer than wanted?"
Maybe that day is your problem.

Oh yeah and my second advice if the first one doesn't work out: as in my story, no matter how good you think she is, you will find someone who is better, or better in a different way. Best play is to live your life and keep her as a friend, with which you can spend some quality time with. And tell her about your other girls, maybe she will realise she is making a mistake.

I know a lot of pua would say "move on and forget about her" but i can understand thats easier said than done.

Depression over this? Wow buddy, go get help.

There's nothing special about this girl. There's a ton of girls out there. The number of girls you've met in the world wouldn't even add up to a tenth of a tenth of a percent.

There's nothing fundamentally wrong with you. If you do what hundreds of guys on this forum did and become a better version of yourself, you'll connect with one of those said girls.

Cheers Mago812 that's basically what I was looking for in a reply. Thanks man!

and thanks vcwriter

I'm starting to get over it now. I know it was only 4 dates and I acted pussy but I guess I just got hung up becuase I'm so used to just pulling girls in clubs and having 1 night stands. It was the first date I've had in I can't remember how many years so I guess this has been a big learning curve.

I fully well know there are 1000 times hotter girls out there and I've just fallen in to the trap of thinking she's the one just becuase she's available to me (by agreeing to date me).

I thought I was used to rejection from all my night game but I've always been drunk so I guess that's why it's never bothered me before. This was the first time I've really dated a woman sober since I was in school.

Thanks for all the pointers anyway guys. appreciate it!

you need to listen to this, and go out there and let this make you stronger... if you act like this... oh its not fair oh thats not fair im depressed... you will never get another hot girl... trust me bro... girls the way they are... they are attracted to dominance guys who don't let their feelings show... if the woman and man are both always sinking in their feelings well that couple would lose. stay strong you are the lion... and go out there and get a hotter girl.. dont let your CURRENT reality phase you... this exact situation happened to me before.. and i was a mess.. but I grew stronger from it.. and now i am letting you know... FUCK this girl... you gave her your kindness, your passion, your sincerity... a girl only finds one guy like that in her life... and when she says next.. she'll get fucked in the end... now man up... go out and find another hot girl and give another girl a chance.. dont have hope of getting her back.. she made a CONSCIENCE decision...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0kGAz6HYM8