Hi,

I am totally new to "the game". So, please excuse my ignorance.

There is this girl I know, who likes to hang around guys a lot. She is also deeply religious, so I take every opportunity to go to mass with her. However, owing to my less than satisfactory social nature, I am unable to get her to open up or find out more about her, other than what I observe her do. A number of guys have her in their sights and many have made a move on her but she has dismissed (read Friendzoned) them all in a very subtle manner. As opposed to me, she is highly extroverted and likes hanging out a lot. However, all conversations we have are very dull and most of her replies are in 1 or 2 syllables, which gets very frustrating for me to hold a conversation. She does not seem to have trouble talking to everyone else. Therefore, there is something I am doing wrong, only I cannot find out what.

its obvious man she finds you boring, sry bout that but its true. the reason she hangs out with those guyz are because their adventures and thats what you should be. if you have a boring lifestyle you should change it. i had one and bro i was very boring when it comes to girls what i did was i took classes like Martial arts Muay Thai , dancing Samba, art( i drew people in the subway and a lot of girls were interested of what i was doing) etc. funny thing about Samba is that when i goto clubs and dance with a girl i dont grind i do Samba and i stand out in the club and a lot of girls talk to me.

Well, I know that not all people are interested in my field of knowledge. However, I am not really into dancing and stuff. I do play guitar though.

If she does find me boring, why does she accompany me to mass then? If I do not go someday, she will ask me why I did not go. Also, she shows some concern for my poor health sometimes. She also offered me to listen to music on her phone once, sharing one earphone.

Anyway, what can I do about this? I need some way to know what's going on in her head.

Hello my friend,
your situation is more common than you think. Since you are on this forum, you are already ahead of the guys who are talking to her. Congratulations!

As for boring conversations, there is an easy way to turn is around by asking the right questions. Something that will get you material to work with.
Suggestion 1
Begin with a short story of something that happened to you or your friend and ask her opinion. Make sure it is what she thinks and WHY. Questions with Why, Where, When will get your further than "How was your day?" The answer to that is "Fine, yourself?"

Suggestion 2
All people are selfish to some extent. Are you rather talk abut the things you love doing ant things that turn you on or do you like listening when someone rambles on for hours? Good. Same goes for her. LISTEN to what she says. How she says it. What could she mean by that? Is there misunderstanding?
Are you looking into her eyes or thinking about what you want to say next? Look into her eyes, they'll tell you more than you know!

Suggestion 3
Admit it, you are in a friends zone. Sucks, but now you know your angle of approach. Think that you can fool her with all of a sudden becoming an outgoing ladies man? She will see right through you - don't insult her intelligence by thinking otherwise. She knows you are interested. She doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Talk to her and ask useful questions about her personality. Tell her something interesting about you. Ask the same in return.

Bottom line is talk to her and learn. Take it as far as you dare, but make sure you make it clear that IT IS NOT YOUR INTENTION TO MAKE HER FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE. If you have to say it as explicit as that, so be it.

Godspeed
Al

Thanks for your help.

Then again, I lack confidence about talking to anyone, especially girls. People tend to talk about things I have no knowledge/no interest in. At most I can pretend to be interested, but that cannot last long. I will try following your advice and keep posting.

Thanks again.