I cold opened with a direct line (I think you're cute). Texted twice and she never responded. So I called her about 1.5wks after the open and she picked up. Arranged for coffee today.

This morning she texted me: I can't make it because I just got out of a relationship and I'm not really comfortable dating blah blah blah.

What should I say?

(I'm thinking something like: I asked you to coffee, not a date, hope your ex won't get in the way of us being bff?)

I like it because it reminds me of a scene from Benny and Joon. Leave off the ex bf part. Keep it short and to the point.
Cheers!

What she really means is that you remind her of her needy ex and she isn't going there again.

Don't go direct with text unless you know it's 100% or you are playing the numbers game using mass texts or what ever.

Don't invite a woman out to coffee. Coffee is code word for "talk". By saying she is cute you are communicating that you want to talk about dating.

You already went direct. So you can't go back now. I'd probably say something like..

"Dating? Relationship? I said you were cute not {insert name of woman who is her COMPLETE OPPOSITE}."

From there I suggest you invite her out somewhere fun. ANYTHING but coffee. It's NOT a date it's a hang out.

If you are sly enough make it seem like you are meeting up with women left and right with innocent intentions and she is the one missing out sitting at home pining over her ex.

Dude, this sounded gay. Seriously. Don't do that, unless that's your bag - no judgements here.

I'd personally tell you to bail and work on your approach, but Rakeal's post offers a great deal of advice.

Good luck,


RR

_________________
Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

All the above posters are RIGHT. You're cute - it's good to say that if you have had conversation with her or so, however not as an opener. You're cute + get out to have some coffee = boring boyfriend(probably as her ex was).

Simply arrange a meeting to have some fun. If she broke with her boyfriend she will want to have some fun to forget everything. As for the fun part it's up to you. You can have fun while on a bench in the park

You are coming off as a bit needy. what i would text is a smart ass remark back. maybe cocky funny approach. " whahooh there missy, slow down, who said anything about dating? Just thought you'd be a cool person to hang out with. are you a cool person? " if she says yes : "so am i, so see you there at 5."
If no then thats that just go on to the next. ... : " Oh shut it, lol well ill just have to enjoy the tasty beverage hitting my lips with another cool friend. cya "

shes not interested (for whatever reason). so really im not going try to come up with ways to convince her to come out with me. id just say something like "cool, maybe some other time then" if i even responded to that text at all. just move on.

i think theres a real easy solution for this. in the future simply dont make plans on the first call. just get to the point where she regularly answers your call and enjoys talking to you. then, a couple of calls later set up a meet.

what probably happened is that you didnt really do a lot to attract or interest her during your approach and call. so she likely agreed to the date just to get you off the phone knowing she was never going to begin with.

also the excuse she gave you (although its b.s.) pretty much tells you that shes not interested in getting together at any point. which is why id just move on. this is much different from a scenario where she apologizes and kinda reschedules. in that case, i wouldnt just give up after one flake.

Got it, thanks for the advice guys. To clarify, I opened her with the you're cute line on the street, the texts i sent were just random openers (robbing a bank etc). But yeah I agree didn't really establish any rapport on the phone. Oh well.

You've learned a valuable lesson. Sometimes these PUA lines and BS will actually mess up your game unless you pull them off perfectly. Not just bits and pieces here and there. you MUST build rapport or you'll get a flake more often then not. I also suggest once you build rapport you BREAK it. Yup you build build build then Break. then build again. This will set you apart from other guys and you'll come off ass less needy.
Ways to BREAK rapport. Negging, argue, disagree, etc etc. Don't agree with everything she says like MOST guys will do when they first meet. Call her out if she says something dumb. But do it in a funny not asshole way.
CAUTION always try to break rapport in a funny silly way. If you do it TOO much then you'll come across as an ass.
Remember its build build build break build build build break. This will keep her interested.