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PostPosted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 10:08 pm 
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So there is this girl i know actually from quite a lot of time (she is 16, i am 17) that is from a different school than I am, so Facebook is my only way of communication yet. Basically, she wanted to join a drama club i was a member of (left it 2-3 months ago) and we just exchanged names, no bantering or small talk at all, i had no intent for her and knew jack shit about game.
Two weeks ago I chatted her up on FB out of boredom while at work, found out she was on vacation in a nearby resort so I playfully suggested i come there for a concert the end of the month after she comes to the resort i was working at (hell, i'
m definetly not going there especially now that she is back in town, that was just kind of an interest test on my side) to which she responded with "well great then :D " (someone tell me if that is not an actual positive response - just being cautious here).
We have some solid rapport built up over these messages, she explained to me pretty passionately how much she loved going on stage and dancing and I have connected that to my former passion for drama which she almost got into :), we also talked about my current hobby (MMA) and she mentioned she's not much of a fighter because she has someone to fight people. Possible boyfriend/ shit test alert! So I played a bit on it, asking if the pay is good for protecting her - she said the face that he just "sees her, his beautiful friend" is enough for him. I guess a boyfriend right now is out of the question... Anyways to that message i said "well a GOOD bodyguard always has a good pay" and called it a night.
Did I mention I always end the convos first, to maintain status and all, especially when I get bored or don't have a good subject to chat about? I have had bad AFC experiences with a certain girl almost always "mhm"-ing me after a few messages (I even went to ask her out over fb because we kissed while drunk at a party and i took it as a major IOI :D fuck i was stupid back then).
AND NOW THE IMPORTANT PART:
After 1-2 times of initiating conversation for about 5 minutes and then ejecting, she messaged me something along the lines of
HER: "hey [playful rendition of my name], what's up? :)"
ME: "you allow yourself too much, nobody calls me like that :D"
HER: "sounds cute, though :D :3 " /lots of smilies, another IOI?/
ME: "if you say so"
"nothing much, except for the fact that a new tourist group came to our hotel"
HER: "ouch"
"how long will you work?"
"no break?"
ME: "if you're talking about a break more than 1 day a week, impossible"
"but i'm only working till september"
HER: "bummer"
"how much do they pay you?"
ME: "hey now, you don't ask that kind of question ;)"
"enough so that i work there for a second summer"
HER: "ok then as you wish ;)"
"i might start working next year too"
ME: "you turned 16 yet?"
HER: "yeah ^^ , on [date]"
ME: "you could've started this year too, if you searched early enough"
"last year i placed the job april, turned 16 end of may and started working july"
HER: "well yeah i could have, but i missed the chance :D"
" im not really familiar with this stuff :P"
ME: /repeating myself from about a week ago/ "it's not about what you know, it's about who you know, remember that kiddo" (too much bragging/DLV here??)
HER: "well excuse me, mr. mafia" /common compliment around where i live/
ME: "if you say so :D"
"well, i'm heading off to bed, see you around"
HER: "good night ;p"
i will post the next convo we had after i purposefully liked two of her pics (did I mention she uploads a shitload, maybe i could play on that?) if it wont be counted as spam

Any advice on FB game or criticism on the convo welcome!!!


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 7:40 am 
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***UPDATE***
So yesterday we made some small talk after which i said we could grab coffee today as it is my day off work for the whole week and i added the david deangelo approach ME: "we can eat too, but coffee is safer, if you scare me, i could say "well, um... i forgot something at the gym, it's really important" and we can call it a day"
HER: "the fuck?"
"scare you?"
ME: "gotta be safe there, dunno how good you are with photoshop :D"
HER: "wait, are you serious? what, if you don't like me then just bye?"
"it's not a date, don't get in a fuss about it" /nice shit test, but one I unintendedly ignored/
ME: "okay, if you're gonna take it that seriously i might fake it till the end of the date :D" /I didnt even read her last message so i just naturally typed date/
HER:"tommorrow's friday, right?"
"so, listen to me now"
"first of all, this is not a date, keep that in mind ;)" /shitting again lol/
"and second, i get up around 1PM so lunchtime is off limits for me, and isn't it a little too hot nowadays? we better go out in the afternoon"
ME: "afternoon's fine but we have to be over by around 5 because i have training"
"okay?"
HER: "okay then"
"and another thing"
[goes on and on ranting about how she only uses instagram for her pics]
ME: "relax i was joking about the photoshop, couldn't you tell? why did you get so nervous anyway?"
HER: "i'm not nervous, just that nobody has ever doubted my pic quality"
[a bunch of other excuses for her pics]
/man she is so insecure, that's why i think i fucked up with too much neg/
ME: "so much the better :)"
"alright, be in fb around 11-12PM so we can arrange a time and place"
"right now, i'm gonna be late, bye"
HER: "alright then, bye"

Later that evening, i messaged her to arrange stuff but she flaked and said she can't:
HER: "not going to happen tomorrow, i can't"
ME: "alright saturday then, but in the AM"
"and that's my final offer"
HER: i can't i'm free after 9"
ME: /playing on it thinking she meant 9PM/ "9AM is fine with me, sun doesn't shine as much :D"
HER: "i meant the 9th of august"
ME: "alright then, if i happen to forget, remind me" /not really sure what i was doing here, it just came naturally , maybe some kind of receptiveness test?/
HER: "don't count on me for remembering..." /and here comes the bomb/
ME: "i know girls have short memory, but this is a bit too much.."
HER: "oh fuck off" /no smileys, oh shit/
"you're getting on my nerves these days, you're insulting me on stuff alot"
ME: "fuck, you're irritable"
"can't a guy crack a joke?"
"alright, i'll behave better" /trying to erase some damage.../
"but i don't know how much" /hopefully without lowering much value/
"bye"
HER: ok, bye :)" /sudden smiley, wtf?/


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 8:30 am 
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I don't reckon you guys need another update, seeing as you wouldnt bother helping.
Just tell me if she's a lost cause already or just testing as hell.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 8:54 am 
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Good effort for trying....But, the conversation seem a little boring, Just small talk and when you were trying to tease her, you teased her about her looks..... She sounded insecure and you made it worse by teasing her... If you tease her about her looks (Don't advise it) it's have to be Face to face, so she sees that your joking in your facial expression.
At the start when she called you a nickname, why didn't you make a nickname for her, making it more playful straight away.

The whole "this is not a date" thing, you could of turned it playful once more by saying "I don't think your charm would work on me anyway" I think the term date adds pressure to "Meeting" your just hanging out.

I also think that you made yourself too available for hanging out, When she changed and flaked, you were too ready to agree to whenever she was free, it should be when YOUR free.

Good Luck mate


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 9:10 am 
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yeah i did take it too far with the negs, we talked about it an hour ago and she was on to my game, said stuff like "you werent such an asshole the previous times we talked"
but i had luck those previous times were around january so i played it off with a few months was enough for me to change, to which she replied with "well if it is really who you are then worse for you" ouch... i tried to get out of that one with admitting i went a little over the top with the teasing and reminded her of the "i'll behave" promise i made. then she said she has to go and signed off

as for the date shit test, i really should have read her responses more carefully and not just fire out my lines and i would have passed that one well

i don't think i made myself too available though, read my reply again:
ME: "alright saturday then, but in the AM"
"and that's my final offer"
when she started this free after the 9th shit i already knew shit hit the fan and that i should back off a bit and i was just bantering. it should have been a bit obvious i was jokin because i used smileys when replying to her flake

If you're interested, I can give the full convo from today and decide what should I do with this chick. She's from another school and i haven't seen her IRL since we first met so even if I develop some kind of One-itis shit it would go away in a day or two at most.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 9:37 am 
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Hey dude,

it all went wrong when you went DeAngelo. C&F is misunderstood on so many levels. Also on facebook, you cannot calibrate the response. THat goes both ways, she doesnt really know if you are joking or not (if you dont say so) and you cant really be sure if she means the 'are you serious?'. You cant see the shock on her face or the smile on her face. That is why text game and fb game just plain suck.

You took the cocky funny shit too far. That is what happened. You didnt seem to know where to stop, wich is partially forgiven because you are on facebook and cant calibrate the reaction. You are right, you took the neg too far. She is 16, it is normal that she is insecure, especially about her looks.

You could have saved your ass by tempering the Cocky shit and the attempts of being funny. like, when she says: its not a date, reassure her. Tell her, no, it isnt a date, just hanging and talking :). Show some empathy as obvious it is important to her.

Then in the later convo where she flakes, you keep on cocky and funky. She is trying to see you but you keep on joking around.

"that is my final offer" --- > really? if you mean it, you dont say it, you just do it. This just looks like an attempt to be cocky/bossy.

THen you play with the 9AM /PM thingy. Unnecessary. She can meet after 9 of aug, say:"cool. do you have an exact date already or is that time still a bit obscure? " If she had an exact date, check if you are free. If not, tell her: "well, i am mostly free then, let me know when you know more". THen be patient, if she doesnt let you know anytihng, she doesnt like you anyway. you gotta be honest towards yourself in these matters, but since she is making effort into finding a date, she really did like you.

'if i happen to forget, remind me' --- > another attempt at acting cocky and acting like you dont care that much. But that aint really true, right? otherwise you wouldnt post it here. It was completely unnecessary. You should have just said: check, i ll keep an eye on that date. let me know if you know more about when exactly.

By acting like you dont care, you show not that much interest anymore. And then you wonder why she would stay interested. All of a sudden, you start acting more or less like a jerk.

"i know girls have short memory, but this is a bit too much.." --- > another attempt :s. Really, in that last conversation, you have said nothing positive nor interesting, just plain shit and bollocks. And you wonder why she suddenly says: oh fuck off? Being good with women is being interesting AND INTERESTED in her at the same time (i think its juggler who said that and he is right).

And finally, you get pissed on her because she gets irritated by your shitty behaviour? Really? The only reason why you got away with that and received a smiley is because she really is insecure i think.

Just behave the next time you talk to her, dont forget to show a bit of interest. And a joke is ok every once and a while, a cocky joke, but now you know that she is insecure, tell her its a joke :).

If she then asks why you keep tellin her its only a joke like you are suggesting that she cant catch on, just say: i am telling it because through chat you cant see my face, and i want to be sure that you get the correct idea.

So please, stop teh C&F thing and start to get real, start to be yourself again a bit more and be interested.

Good luck mate.

ps: the first convo is actually good. To the guy who said it was not interesting or too flufftalk flavored, you should keep in mind that they already had talked about both their passions, and related to them. So there is already a connection, which means that fluffy talk is ok at that moment.

ciao!

_________________
"Stop being a fucking vagina and escalate" - CaptainJackHarkness

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.
placebo - every me, every you


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 12:07 pm 
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Thanks for the long reply LD, i did linger on shit too much. So much for the DeAngelo brainwash, seeing as how far that has gotten me. Back to studying natural game it is.
So, today she posted a status saying how some people have too big of an ego over Facebook and "let's see how big your mouth is face to face, sorry ass". That got me pretty psyched, remembering the events from last night. So I typed her (maybe fucking things up some more with C&F but on a really lower level):
ME: That is the strangest invitation i have ever seen :D"
"i like it, but isn't it a little bit too public?"
HER: "?"
ME: "you mean that status full of hate was not towards me?"
HER: why did you think it was for you?"
ME: "hm i dunno, maybe because you were so insulted last night, it's only logical"
HER: "you're actually not far away from that guy"
"word of advice: i doubt you used original material last night, because you were never such an asshole before"
"whoever told you you'd be cooler that way, lied to you bigtime" /thanks a bunch, c&f/
"don't ever talk to a girl like that, every girl is beautiful"
ME: " "before" is a very vague term in our case"
"last time we chatted before summer was, what, january?"
HER: "well if it is really who you are then worse for you"
ME: "ok imaybe i went over the top last night"
"i promised i would behave, didn't I?"
HER: i got to go, i dont have any time, bye"
and that's that
So i think i have two options:
A) Apologize and drop the C&F act entirely, meaning i chat her up about this very very soon and start building comfort and rapport again
B) Forget about all of this until like the 10th of august and then if she opens up to me again i put in the back of my brain for some time. building a stronger connection, would definetly be my priority now

Closing thoughts: i dont think i have oneitis or atleast not that much. It just eats me up that i fucked up with a girl showing interest in me, thats why i actually started the act.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 12:29 pm 
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Do you know the concept of push pull? You pull and pushin a playful way ("you're pretty, but I don't know if I can trust pretty girls nowadays")

Remember this very well my friend: push only when necessary. A neg is a harsh push, and only necessary when the girl is being stuck up, or bitchy, or thinks highly of herself. (For example picture a club and a group of girls, one of them the stuck up one, "You've got something nasty in your hair," whatever. Better not to use them. You should have pulled more. She went from liking you a lot to hating you because you were a douche to her.

I know you tried to use CF to create attraction, but it was already there and you just seemed arrogant towards the end (good job at staying congruent and not sucking up to her though.) a good thing would have been role play. Like you two are robbers and will take over the world or whatever. That would have been fun.

Remember it's supposed to be fun for both of you.

No worries, a learning experience. Let this one go. Move on to the next.


Last edited by Tr@veler on Fri Jul 27, 2012 12:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 12:40 pm 
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:)

np mate.

I think now any chance you still had is gone... I would apologize and leave her alone. She might or might not (prolly this one) contact you again after 9th of aug.

cheers

_________________
"Stop being a fucking vagina and escalate" - CaptainJackHarkness

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.
placebo - every me, every you


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 12:46 pm 
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I'm jumping off this plane before it lands on One-itis Island. Apologizing tonight and then waiting for her to initiate convo mid-august. Hopefully enough time to polish my game by then :D.
Anyways, thanks for the many and resourceful replies, i almost thought this thread was going to die in the dirt.

Cheers,
D-Man signing off


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