Hi
Basically I've been dating this girl for about 2 months now. She got out of a very bad relationship which lasted 2 years a little over 6 months ago. He was her first love and the guy that took her virginity however the relationship was very bad he used to to ignore her, abuse her, and cheated on her twice, she broke it off with him. She's an emotional girl and she's been very hurt by her last relationship. She sometimes still breaks down over it.

All the signs have been strong, she's introduced me to all her best friends quickly (they all like me), talked about me to her family, we've had a lot of fun together, she's told me she misses me when not together, given me a lot of affection. I've never once been afc to her throughout and I've lead most of the time.

Today we talked on the phone and she told me that she feels like crap because she feels like she is dragging me down with her (I'm an outgoing and happy guy) and that it's unfair on me what she's putting me through so she wants to give her self some time to get over it but wants us to remain friends for now and maybe try again later because she cares about me and likes me, she told me I'm a big part of her life and she doesn't want to lose me but she feels like she's not ready to give me 100%. She said she's not going to look for other guys and that all she told me comes from her heart.

I have given her a lot of attention and it's been a mistake by me perhaps, things have felt like they been going down hill the last 2 weeks, we haven't seen each other as often as we use to and we've done a lot of other stuff (blowjobs etc) but haven't had sex yet I didn't push hard for it either because I respected that she was still hurt and might not have been ready yet, maybe a mistake by my part too. I'm pretty much aware of all the mistakes I've done and should of screened better for this problem before jumping into the relationship.

Not sure what to do now though, I would like to try again because she's a great girl, independent, works hard, owns her own car and all that stuff. So I'm guessing the best thing to do is to still keep in contact but become a bit more distant start going out again meeting new people and start talking to girls again until she comes back to me. But part of me is also telling me to just move the fuck on.
What do you guys think?

I would definitely go no-contact. this seems a LJBF speech. would not be surprised if she had met some other dude who is now banging her like there's no tomorrow.

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nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)

* She sent me this text yesterday as well... I haven't replied
"Hey you
I just don't know what to say besides this hurts a lot really
I'm so sorry, you have no idea, I don't wanna lose you, but I'm doing what I think is the best, for the both of us. You don't deserve to be put thru this!
I hate myself soo much right now, and I just wish I could change things.
You mean a lot to me regardless to what's gonna happen my feelings for you are deep and I just wish I could show you them the right way...
My intentions were never like that .. I just couldn't do it anymore, it kept eating me up..
You will always be my Romeo (she calls me that because of a personal joke we have), and I honestly wish we could stay in contact...

am I the only one here who smells other cock banging this pussy?
you "dated" her, but there was never any formal exclusivity agreement
she smelled nice guy (who is ready to wait indefinitely for sex, and will still be emotionally available without needing to "own the pussy") and then met a dude who told her to open the legs or GTFO. she complied, and now doesn't need Mr. Nice Guy anymore. of course, being a woman, she will not live up to her action and say "look, I have used you for emotional validation but you never got my pussy wet because you were too nice and respectful. this dude came, went caveman, and my pussy was soaking. I decided I want to bang him and do not need you anymore. Have a nice life". no, she will cause deep drama, fill it with emotions and some romantic last desperate cry, just so Romeo doesn't hear the cries of her orgasm "yeah fuck me hard fuck fuck yes baby yes"

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nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)

Haha nah it's crossed my mind too believe me, I'm not naive but I really do think she's the genuine type of girl, she's gone through a lot of shit in her life. She's spit some shit to me before about how cheating is so wrong and she would never do it after going through it, but yeah could be the typical speech. She also wrote a status on facebook saying "If only", which was about me. Trust me right now my strongest consideration is to move the fuck on I already semi set up a date with another girl this friday. But if she really is telling the truth then she is a girl I could see myself spending a long time with.

Nah there definitely was an agreement on being exclusive, I told her right from the beginning I trust her but if she fucks up I'm gone in seconds. I've talked to her about sex many times and I told her that for me it's one of the most important pillars in a relationship.

you are not her boyfriend, are you? nowhere in your post it says "we agreed on exclusivity". guess what, titles mean a lot to a girl. to her, you are not exclusive. and it's not cheating.
... more orgasm-masking cries.
if she is telling the truth, in a week or two, she will be knocking at your door begging to be your GF.
in the meanwhile, GFTOW (go fuck ten other women). it will cure your oneitis, and by the time she comes back, you will have had so much good pussy that you will not even want to touch hers.
this is what you told her. what did she tell you? "I will be your girlfriend", "I will be exclusive", "I will only date you", ... anything to that effect, "be your girlfriend" being the preferred option.
plus, you "talked" about sex. but you never "acted" on sex. your frame is not congruent. I tell my GF how I think sex is very important. and I bang her often. and sometimes I go caveman. I want her. I own her. this is congruent. she feels that I would be gone if she withheld the pussy. your date never felt this urge to deliver.

_________________
nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)

I am her boyfriend, she's introduced me to all her best friends and people she loves as her boyfriend. She's the one that put the title on us and I agreed to it.

Yeah I guess that's my best bet right now, show her that I'm fine without her (which I am).

then by all means initiate a formal break-up. from your post, it seems she just asked for some time apart. "sure baby, all the time you need. we're broken up"
this will break your relationship. and more importantly her frame.
immediately after the break-up, GFTOW.

_________________
nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)

Yeah seems the best way to handle things right now, appreciate the input.

So just to make it clear you think this would be the best way to get her to come running back to me right? Once/if this happens then I'm definitely gonna be trying to lay her the first night otherwise it's over for good.

I think this is the best way to preserve your self-respect, dignity, alpha-ness, and to cure your oneitis
if you get your GF back in the process, the better.
but I hope by the time she comes back crying, you will be over her and will kick her dirty ass to the curb

_________________
nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)

Seagull has some valid points.

Why is SHE decidin what is bet for the both of you? Who gave her the role of decision maker? If she declared you bf/gf, shouldn't this be discussed, rather than her just pulling away? Fuck that and all the mind games. Sure she's going through shit, but does she respect you at all? Little it seems. Things aren't mutual here.

If you want this chick back, you must be straight with her, but not in a negative way. YOU are always having a good time. If you had five other chicks right now waiting to be fucked, would this mean so much to you? Probably not. You would most likely think"Ok your loss, let me call chick #2. You mus, happily, make clear you don't really care if she comes back or not, and that you have no problem breaking contact.

Do not settle for this friendship bullshit. Fuck that. This is a LJBF speech. Fix it by regaining the frame and making clear to her it's her loss.

I'm no PUA, I'm an overly nice guy, but this made me chuckle because I've had similar talks with just about all of my ex's/FBs/dates. Only thing that makes it any better is to not feed into it and be Mr. Sweetheart. I wouldn't cut off communication entirely, but when you do talk to her, talk with the whole "thanks for wasting my time" mentality (don't say it straight up, BE SUBTLE). If anything it'll put her on the spot and she'll wonder whats different about you. This nuance of mystery will either spark her interest, put her on a guilt trip, or send her packing. Either way, like she said, its not fair to you.

....then fuck her friends.


RR

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

It's very important you listen to Tr@vler here. He makes a good observation pointing out that the decision she made was not mutual.

I know for a certain that this girl is trying to make a decision for you because she wants to maintain her innocence by covering her guilt. Also this could mean that since you haven't claimed much dominance in the relationship she decides what's best for you. This is absolutely destroying your frame. She's either back with her ex, or banging some other guy. IMO it's definitely her boyfriend.

At this point, try to go do other girls because this is a loss cause in the making. Tell her you won't stand for this and that your not something she can just put on layaway to come claim when she feels like paying for it. You want her to come claim you, you gotta tell that bitch that you're high in demand and if she doesn't come soon you'll be out of stock. Plain and simple.

Be blunt and straight up about it, this will have her wondering and disorientated. Which will have her thinking more about you since it will impact her more. If you become mr.sweetheart it'll just blow over. That's bullshit, you're a man... grab hold of your dignity and balls and speak your mind. No subtle type bullshit.