Hey all. Please read, post any advice and comment. Thanks

SITUATION:

Past: University Student, I loved it 2 years

Present: Currently in army and unhappy with it. 8.5 years

Future: New job and new start in life. This happens in 2 months. Cant wait. Until I die

RIght just had to get that up there so you understand my life story in brief. ANyway basically. When I was at university. I could approach and chat to women no problem. I didnt know the Game back then, so I was an AFC. You can figure out the rest. But I was happy and loved my life there.

I am now in the army. Although I am out in the very near future (2 months time). I have had a couple of LTR's and quite a few One Night STands. However the only time I seem to be able get into an LTR is when I like the area im in or focus on my life at the time. Recently all I have been doing is remembering the past and looking forward to being out and starting a new life with a job I like and in a place I like. I know have these 2 things sorted by the way.

However whenever Im in an LTR I seem to mess it up and I have never understood why. Tonight I have just had an Apithomy about this.

When I am with an HB, I tell her about my past and I tell her about hopes for the future. EVentually this is, but this always becomes my ficus which is where I think I am going wrong. I never alter her reality, ie

When I was younger I went to Gatecrasher clubbing a lot.

should be

Do you remember what it was like years ago, the clubbing at places like gatecrasher, the smoke, the lasers, the trance.

So I am just stating my past and not taking her with me. I also talk about my hopes in the future a lot. But whenever I reach a bump in the road, what I have realised is that I am not focussing on the present. I am not putting any into who I am at the time. I only put value into my past, I only put value into my future.

This is where I think I have been going wrong.

By the way like I said I am outta the Army very soon, so this should not be an issue anymore. However if I do want to talk about my past or future. How do I make it an enjoyable experience for her. How do I change her frame of mind so she is there with me.

I also know I need to pt a lot more value on my present. How I do ensure I never make this mistake again. I believe this is where I have always gone wrong.

Even when I successfully approach women at the minute on random nights out, I always struggle at giving myself value. This is because I do not value my present at the minute only my future.

Yet when I was at university, I loved it. SO I never spoke about my past or my future. It was just this me, this is who I am NOW.


Am I onto something here or just delusional?