This girl in my college major classes and her friend (who is cute and asked if I had a girlfriend and made some joking comments about my physique, along with sincere interest comments) said "you know, there are two joes in this class, but me and my friend call you toolbag joe when referring to you"

The general mood when talking to these two together is me being slightly cocky and them saying they could pop my muscles like balloons, ect, but giggling and such. They also ask if i'm one of those gym rat toolbags, ect, to which I just brush it off or I agree.

To that comment I said "GOOD! but I see you are referring to me!"

Should I be concerned if I'm going to make a move on the friend, if they jokingly call me a toolbag, the friend has made gymrat comments as well, but also shown interest in my life? I don't react to these tests.

I think they mean toolbag as in, I look like one of those musclehead dudes you see on jersey shore, but they know I'm a smart kid from my accomplishments in our field.

Ignore them, its just simple shit test, don't react to it....in fact I would just strait up tell the girl you want to date that you are going to take her out, and for her to give you her number....what do you have to loose? If she says yes you have a date, if she says no you laugh and hit on ever other girl except her in your class.

do you want to be called toolbag joe?

if not I suggest frame control,

when the term non-reactive is thrown around, or someone says don't react, this is in terms of emotional/frame

in terms of frame, if you are leading the frame, you are being proactive, rather then reactive

in reguards to emotional, if you are having emotional reactions as a result of the girl and she is dictating your emotional state because she can say or do things that get emotional responses, she can steal the frame as your emotions will eventually get the better of you, and you will start reacting to her frame

non-reactive does not = stoic and passive, express your emotions and remain proactive, non-reactive = congruent to your frame, no reaction to her frame, emotional control

if you stay passive towards this, then that would indicate that it is congruent for you to be apathetic to being called toolbagjoe, she has framed you as toolbag joe, and you have accepted the frame

if you like being called tool bag joe, then just reward the idea, ''LOL toolbag joe? I love it, lets call your friend fishpants, and you can be minniemouse or something''

^ this is fine, if you don't care what they call you

however, if you don't like the idea of being labeled as tool bag joe, then just re-frame

''ok?'' *look at her like she is weird for saying that*
or
''way to make this conversation really awkward'' *get colder with bl and give her less attention''

you have to remain in control of your emotions to stay congruent with how you feel, as long as you can remain in the proactive position with emotional control, then you will respond to shit tests through your frame, rather then her frame

shit tests are also called ''congruence tests'', to pass them, simply remain congruent to your frame, incongruence = fail, be more sure of yourself and you will be able to control what the frame is, the frame will dictate what is congruent and acceptable, the person who is reacting to the frame is going to be viewing things through the perspective of the person who has frame control, what ever is congruent to your frame is how they will see you, the more congruent and sure of yourself the more you will remain in control of yourself and they will react, and they will test your congruence to that frame, just hold your frame and stay congruent (emotionally most importantly)

so for example, if you have set the frame that you like that name, but really don't, then remain passive until the point passive becomes passive agressive and you blow up and spaz on them, this is incongruent, either re-frame (proactively nip it in the bud) and stay congruent, or accept the frame and stay congruent, it depends on what you want from the interaction

http://couragewithhorses.blogspot.ca/20 ... uence.html
^fresh from google for you, emotional congruence

GOOD LUCK