I havent used this forum forever because i got lucky and met some girl on a school trip in my class that i happened to get along with and we hit it off. anyways, this is kind've just a journal of progress i guess you could say, im adding lots of details because im clueless what to do

looking for advice from people who were gonna date a girl, she changed her mind and all hope was lost.. then somehow you managed to win her back over. so here it goes:

so me and this girl meet, she is very interested, adds me on facebook, sends me her number .etc, we hang out a few times, hook up after a party (couldnt fuck her because people were around but whatever) and we start seeing eachother. sit together at school, kiss in public, .etc .etc but school ended fast so i just go over to her house usually. i live like 20 minutes from her in a town away from the city so i cant see her often. usually she'd invite me over anywhere from a couple hours to sleeping over at her house. anyways: 2 weeks ago me, her and a couple of my friends and there girls/dates go to the drivein movies together, got high and got to know eachother (inbetween movies ofcourse hahah) and me and her messed around in her car. she said she wanted to fuck me so we went home, but she was too tired when we got there and she just wanted to go to bed. she basically promised me so i was kindve pissed, and she could tell. so she leaves her bed, comes back and decides to sucks my dick, then i said i wanted to get her off too.. she didnt want me to and was too tired.. so after seducing her, we ended up fucking for a couple minutes.. then i stopped cause it felt forced, it wasnt the right time cause i knew she was only letting me fuck her to make me happy.i felt bad so we just both went to sleep. next day i tried seducing her into it again, and she didnt want to again and didnt give in at all, so after giving up i felt bad and she didnt want me to beat myself up about what happened and was alright, but we left on bad terms.

but after a couple days of being apart, we hung out again twice, tuesday and thursday, and things were going solid as usual. cuddling, watching movies, letting sexual tension build up and all that shit. then on saturday we hung out (i was near her house with some friends the night before, she had work in a few hours so we had a small space) for about an hour & a half and things were kind've weird.. i was hungover, she was in a bad mood.. and we both just annoyed eachother and when i left we didnt even really say bye or anything so it was fucked. then i felt bad and texted her a couple times and she didnt reply.. that never happens.. so i knew shit was bad. she texted me back just saying hey a day later, then after a small convo she stopped again.. then on wednesday i asked her hey whatsup, she said shes "been thinking and not sure about things.." so i apologized for the random awkwardness of saturday (even though nothing really happened we were just in bad moods) and she said she just wasn't sure about things between us and they might not be able to get where i want us to be, thats shes just really unsure.

so im like wtf? i tell her we always have good times and shes like "yeah i know.. things are just kind of weird.." and that she doesnt thinking seeing or calling eachother is a good idea. she says it would "complicate things"

so i send her a bunch of texts explaining i can do better and shit, and she said that being in 2 "kinda fights" already after like a month is a really bad sign. she doesn't want to work on things and that everythings shitty already. she doesnt want to hang out, and she cant anyways cause shes working everyday.. so i keep trying to figure out wtf is going on and she drops this on me:

"I like you but it's not going to work so I've given up. Better to do it now before either of us are attached."

my face >

so i havent texted her since thursday.. she didnt reply so i was like fuck it. then today on facebook i messaged her..


me: hey, i just want you to know i was kidding about the shit i said on saturday. your not a bitch lol

her: kay thanks

me: yw.. i thought you knew but, something pissed you off so idk :p

her: im not mad. im just had a change of heart i guess,
dont think its going to work

me: i understand

her: are you angry with me?

me: yeah. but not for the reason you think

her: what for then?

we jumped into that way to fast.

you cant blame me for having mixed feelings

me: im angry that, we were perfectly fine, and then a small misunderstanding lead to all this. like, we kind've forced ourselves to hang out when both of us were at our worst.. we still managed to get along, then the ending was kindve bitter :p i was kidding around with you but it was just all confusing..

her: it wasnt based on that one day

like attt alll

me: yeah but thats when i was an asshole

her: i just know what works in a relationship and what doesnt and i know our personalities are going to clash

not to mention you live so far away, cant drive which would create a strain

me: i agree, i dont know shit when it comes to relationships lol. but i thought we were getting along pretty good.. sometimes its a bit weird but
i know what ive been doing wrong and how to fix things. i know you dont want to work on things, neither do i, but i know exactly what to do. i just wasnt before cause i was scared

her: it shouldnt be weird at all is what im trying to say

we shouldnt of had any issues this early

me: i agree, i was making it weird and i know why :p thats why its killing me right now cause i wasnt being myself haha

her: idk think whats done is done and if you want we could be friends but a relationship is out of the question.



me: it really hurts, but i would still be friends with you. its just that.. idk, i feel that we started things too fast.. but they also ended too fast..i wish you hadnt made up your mind

her: im sorry, didnt want to hurt you
but i know how i feel and it was either now or in a couple weeks when it progressed even further

me: too late lol, but fair enough

and honestly.. i know things were weird sometimes and they definitely shouldn't be.. but i know i can make things work if you give me a chance. i dont know if you believe me or not but.. i know what you want and need in me and i can do it

her: alright well thanks but i really think my minds made up.


then she had to go to bed cause shes working tomorrow and i said i wanted to talk about it some more so shes gonna message me later.

so i need some advice on what the fuck to do.. what to say to her, if i can convince her otherwise to change her mind.. to give me another chance? she says she doesnt want to but we havent seen eachother for like over a week and if we hung out i could definitely get some leverage.

timeline:

- met on trip, she added me / texted me
- we hung out for a full day, then hooked up after a party
- hung out a few more times, went to drivein movie, we both forced sex at wrong time, argument & shitty aftermath
- made up afterwards somehow, got things undercontrol
- she wrote me a letter (details below)
- hung out again, had great time
- forced eachother to hang out on a saturday, both in bad moods, annoyed eachother, bitter ending
- a week of her second guessing everything

she basically fell for me hard. she actually made me an art craft canvas thing (shes kind of a hipster) with a letter inside about how she wanted to spend the summer with me, go upnorth, cuddle with me 300 times, smoke weed together, like after she gave me this i thought i was 100% guaranteed to everything. she is very attracted to me (idk why, she just is) cause apparently im honest, funny, smart and fun to be around.. she says im good looking too but thats bullshit. kinda cute i guess... but anyways, shes like hot as fuck and i really like her and i wanna date. summer literally just started too so i think i have some time to work with.

pro's

- she fell for me HARD
- still likes me
- got 2 months til school, then classes with her next semester
- she finds me attractive
- ive made her cum a few times
- her mom likes me

con's

- things happened way too fast
- our personalities clashed twice this soon (whatever the fuck that means)
- shes pretty much made up her mind
- im literally centimetres away from being friendzone'd
- hates awkwardness/weirdness that happens sometimes
- i live far away
- some of her friends dont like me
- doesnt really want to hang out, plus shes busy working all the time


so heres my gameplan: convince her to give me a last chance to hang out with her, play some guitar song i wrong (she thinks its the hottest shit ever), surprise her with some drawings i drew for her (prior to the fallout, she said she wanted me to draw her stuff), give her my response to her letter (restructured her words basically so shell love it) and convince her that our personalities dont clash and everything will work out fine.


so im asking, everyone whos been just about kicked to the curb and managed a comeback and relationship, what do i do?

if anyone has had a similar experience: shit happened to fast, had a couple arguments, she changed her mind about you, and you had to get her back with odds stacked up against you.


thanks, i appreciate the help greatly

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i can't wait to get laid

Forced sex? When it's forced, it's not sex, it's rape. I understand that a lot of guys are going to say that as long as he didn't hold her down or drug her or hold a gun to her head it's not rape, she relented. I want to be clear: If a woman says anything but an enthusiastic "YES!", it's rape (and why would you settle for anything less, anyways?). "Not no" is not a yes, "if you have to" is not a yes, "will you stop bugging me after?" is not a yes. She did not owe you a goddamn thing even if she said she wanted to have sex with you. Grow the fuck up and realize that her right to feel safe is more important than your dick.

It doesn't sound like this girl is calling what happened rape (lucky for you), but she CLEARLY has some very mixed feelings about it. Accept that you have probably made her feel victimized and betrayed, although her feelings for you didn't evaporate overnight. It has got to be one mindfuck of a situation for her to be in, so apologize for your selfish and hurtful behaviour and respect her wishes. Insisting on making yourself present in her life is only going to make her feel threatened, unsafe and victimized on an ongoing basis.

no man, you got it all wrong. i didnt make it clear in the first post.. she let me fuck her.. like she wanted to. the thing is, she didnt want to have it because she was ready, but she wanted to because she knew i was upset and wanted to make me happy. so basically she allowed me to have sex with her for a couple minutes, but then i realized it wasnt the right time and thats why i stopped. and then the next morning, i wasn't actually forcing myself on her.. i kept trying to get her to want to, but she just said it wasnt the right time. i didnt hold her down or anything at all. i just kept trying to seduce her but she was pissed from the night before and turned me down. i didnt actually force her to do anything, or like touch her at all..

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i can't wait to get laid

You think emotional manipulation is all that much better than physical manipulation? How is "Have sex with me or I'll beat you" that much different from "Have sex with me or I'm going to hate you"? Sure, the level of violence is quite a bit different, but you're still manipulating her using threats to get what you want. Either way she's not going to be into it, and you're using brunt manipulation to get what you want. You've betrayed your unbelievable sense of entitlement to sex. What kind of man puts his own pleasure before his partner's comfort? SHE DIDN'T WANT TO, and I don't care if she said "Okay if it'll make you happy." Why wasn't the thought of having sex with someone who was only doing it to avoid making you angry disgusting enough to make you flaccid for the rest of the night? You had NO RIGHT to be angry because she changed her mind about having sex, and EVEN LESS to actually hang around and guilt her into doing it. Just fucking apologize and get the fuck out of her life.

your taking this way to seriously.. its not like i yelled at her or anything. i put on a pokerface and faked smiles like everything was okay, but she felt bad for whatever reason and decided to fuck me. i didnt tell her i was pissed or anything, i just said "alright, whatever, everythings fine" and wanted to go to sleep. i didnt betray my entitlement to sex because i didnt freak out on her like an asshole, i just said alright and gave up. she was just too tired, and she felt like things went wrong cause she told me she was ready and she wanted it to be that night. im aware she changed her mind and thats why i didnt pursue it, and thats why i stopped, because i felt bad. she didnt even want me to stop but i did. and i already did apologize and we made up about this over a week ago.. we talked about everything and shes cool with it. havent had any similar issues to that since.. you need to chill the fuck out

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i can't wait to get laid

does anyone have any advice for me? for anyones whos confused, no i didnt rape or try to rape her.. read my above posts LOL. and she wanted me back in her bed right away anyways because she was upset about what happened. but anyways

any ideas people? thanks!

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i can't wait to get laid

she made me a canvas & letter 2 weejs ago, so i made one too and dated it to like when she made hers. making a canvas would be weird fuck that, so i drew a picture of stuff she likes and wrote my own little letter. gonna secretly drop it off at her house on her porch or something soon. its a framed drawing and if you open the back theres some notes, a letter, and some other pictures. plus a bracelet.. this might just work..

any advice though?lol

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i can't wait to get laid

dude honestly, your situation is fucked. your trying too hard to get her back and your displaying alot of low value with the guitar songs, which she says is hot but you dont know that for sure because she might be trying to make you feel better as she said, and the drawing for her. the whole sex thing was a bad idea because sure she felt bad for you and gave you head but women are great body language readers, sure you tried to mask it with smiles but she could tell. instead of even fucking her you shuldve made her feel comfortable and made yourself understand that she needs to rest and idk given her a kiss gudnite like you meant it. that whole scene made her feel uncomfortable and thats the last thing you need a girl too feel around you. now she knows you want her so bad and your getting too obsessed over this girl. your displaying insecurity and this is bad. from my experience and others, girls dont like clingy guys. my advice is to get over this girl and find yourself another girl. if it makes you feel better, dating another girl could create tension through jealousy if shes that into you and be the first step to curing your oneitis. im not trying to be a jackass but this is true because i was in the same situation as you and boy did i pay the consequences, emotionally and in dating. even reading your post made me feel for you but that is reality and like you said in your message to her your just scared to admit it. this is my advice but if your not sure wait for another post, but either way theyll tell you to get over this girl.