I've read up on a fair bit of daygame PUA stuff - also watched youtube demo vids. Despite being only average looking 34 yr old overweight guy, I feel if i could only get the courage to approach a woman in day setting (train station, art gallery, park etc) I would do ok.

Instead, whenever I'm about to approach a woman I'm dumbstruck, in terror, imagining everyone looking at me and laughing.

Obviously I don't feel the same on online dating sites or when assisted by alcohol at a club/bar. But approaching dead sober in a day setting a woman I'm attracted to is simply something I want to be able to do. I feel less of a man for not being able to approach cold.

I don't want to fork over thousands for a coachig-style PUA course. Anyone got ideas on how to overcome the most paralysing AA?

The other day I just started approaching women and asked them directions to somewhere. Just to get over my irrational fear of approaching. I'm bored of that now and am ready to to start making a fool of myself.

You're afraid of failing or being humiliated. So? Approach with the intention to be humiliated or failing. You can't lose then. See how many times you can humiliate yourself in a day and take it from there.

I don't want to beat you up here... but I do want to make a few straight-up facts.

You say you CAN'T approach women? Bullshit. You WON'T. BIG difference. If you're landlocked on an island with no phone, internet or even a boat - then you can't. You simply refuse to because somewhere your brain told you to be afraid and put a woman on a pedestal.

More facts: Women can take some of the nastiest shits you'll ever imagine. Why did I write this? Because while you're so afraid of talking to a chick, she could very-well be fighting off a case of the runs that would make a sailor puke. She could be the biggest PIG you'd ever seen. You have no idea. So what?

That last part - the SO WHAT part... that's the key to overcoming AA.

You get rejected? SO WHAT. Babe Ruth missed 7/10 pitches and went to the HOF.

To get over it - meet people everyday. ANY person, talk to them. Not 'just' a chick via daygame that you're considering sarging. You're not near ready for that. Go out everyday and engage in conversation regardless of where you are, with everyone. Start with just the inane basics "Hi, nice day, wow it's hot."... At least 10 people each day. My suggestion is to do this regardless of where you are.

Don't buy groceries for the week in one day, start adding your routine to go daily. Talk with the cashiers, other people there, ANYONE with whom you're interracting. You'll find the more you do this, the less you really start to give a fuck - and then you'll reach the poin where you 1) don't give a shit and 2) actually ENJOY meeting people and having conversations.

If I walk the beach before I swim just to walk... I'll engage in conversation with the old man sitting at the edge of the water, I'll engage the 5-8 year olds running and having a ball, I'll engage the teens that are playing football, and I'll engage the women walking by as well. It's NATURAL for me now. I fucking enjoy it.

Sure, I get bad days, and I internalize and wonder why I had such a fucked-up day, and I USUALLY find it's due to other factors that I allowed to affect my game.

You CAN approach women, you just have to make the decision to do it.

You're not alone, and there is light at the end of the tunnel - you just have to WANT to get there.

RR

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

if your imaging people laughing, then change the images in your mind.

Have big, bright, positive images in your mind.

this will help you.

And get support. Get a wingman to help you.

Sorry, I need to step in and say NO.

Bad advice.

Never have a wingman get you over AA.

Get over it yourself. It's YOUR journey. Until you can understand for yourself it's just fucking meeting people, it's not brain surgery, then you need to do it yourself. A friend is nothing more but a crutch. Use them for support, but do this alone!

Crawl before you walk. You're not near ready for a wing yet.

RR

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

I read this on here sometime ago..

Dress up in a strafe jacket, with a huge dildo taped to your head and walk around the centre of a mall.

Public Humiliation at its highest.
Not sure if that will work, just a contribution

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We are here for a Good time, Not a long time.
Chick Count - 190

Thanks to all replies. RetiredRodeo, your stuff really has ring of truth to it. I dont know if I'm there yet, but mentally some of the obstacles seem to be bit less now. I like idea of it being your own journey. I think I need to approach every situation with a fresh mind, without baggage. Try to keep my heart rate low. It's def easier said than done, tho.

I really envy the naturals (even the sem-naturals) - im very "unnatural." I think i have asperger syndrome tendencies (never diagnosed); so for me to do something as simple as express attraction for a woman I've never met before would be very big.

Oh and the dildo thing was funny. If I was thick skinned enough to do that, I prob wouldnt be afraid of women hehe.

Approach women enough, and you'll have the thick skin.

There's no other way to say it - getting past your fear is a solo trip. Simply getting out there time and time again until you NOTICE you don't have that initial hesitation is the most effective way I've found.

Meeting women is fun, not knowing how/what you're going to say is a fucking high for me.

But I didn't just wake up one day and say "Wow, I'm going to be fucking awesome today!".... I've failed miserably, I've learned tons, I've refused to let my own intrinsic fears paralyze me, and I LIKE meeting people.

You want to get over fear? Meet a chick and throw out a random comment that makes NO sense... Out of the blue after you've said hello, and made some level of small talk, tell her "I have new socks". Just watch her reaction. That will tell you all you need. If you're nervous, she'll have a WTF moment. If you're personable - she'll laugh and may make banter with you.

For me, now, the thrill is from my friends (2 mPUAs I've known forver it seems) who challenge me to meet women with different openers/outfits. I've worn overalls and a flannel shirt to a bar on a bet. Why? Why not? I pulled a number there, too. I used the clothing as a tool. Sure - initial DLV-fear sets in when you enter... but the challenge is to turn the perception. I waited til I had IOIs past teh initial giggle stage, and I closed in. Opened with "Yeah, I know what you're thinking... but here I am dressed like this - and I had to meet you. Damn, talk about not planning shit! Remind me not to bet with my best friend in the future". Then I sat back and guaged the response. Game on. Cap'n Jack posted a "fucking bored" opener, and I used it - successfully. THAT is my thrill, I can't describe it. The nightclub game is just tired to me. I lose focus and the DILLIGAF-syndrome takes over to where I don't actually hear my target, I hear Charlie Brown's teacher talking...so this is a way to minimize this and have a great time as well.

Just get out there! Meet people. You should have met 4 people already! LOL

Best of luck.

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.