I am new but have been lurking for a bit. Got a situation with a female I work with; here's the backstory: Both fresh out of college at a young firm. Flirted for a while, I was hesitant to move forward. Eventually we got drunk at a happy hour and naturally were all into each other. Following week we start texting Friday night--I end up making out with her drunkenly and sleep at her place. Nothing beyond makeout and some titty action. She texts me next night to hang, but I decline (I was with good friend). Week goes by swimmingly. Following weekend: Saturday night she wants to meet up. I go and we proceed to her place again. I sleep over, but this time things get heavy and we're naked. I go down on her and its great. She is so into it she tries to shove me inside of her, w/o condom and barely manages to stutter out that she's on the pill. For some reason, I was thrown off and decided against having sex. I don't know why...I want to ravage her! Anyways the following day was fine; we cuddled for a bit and she was late to meet friends bc of me. However, at work things seemed different. I am likely over-analyzing I feel. She seemed sort of apprehensive to come talk to me, when before she loved to hang out at my desk and socialize. I tried to go with her during week but I had an emergency situation and didnt make it. Bc that didnt happen I invited her to drinks later in the week on Friday (only day free); she obliged. It was slightly weird as it was the first time outside of pure work and drunken weekend play that we hung out, alone. By the end it felt alright. She gave me a kiss goodbye. It wasn't a crazy tongue kiss, but it was a solid smooch and I didn't initiate at all. Texted me a bit more that night but she didnt go out. I try to get the invite, doesn't happen. Saturday comes. Again texting a bit, but she day drank and so decided wasn't going out. Again I try to get an invite or a hangout, but to no avail. Didn't speak to her Sunday.

I have two theories: One is that because I didn't fuck her I made her nervous and insecure and now she is confused. The other is that I am over reading this and very lkely I am fine--she has a very active social life and I am def not the center of it.

Thoughts?

Thanks a lot guys.

I am great with women, I just happen to truly like this one!

And I'll add: when she does text me, she still gives the impression that she would like to hang out. Acts sad when it doesn't work out, gives sad smiley faces, etc. Plus at work when I ignored her for a whole day she immediately texted me something as soon as I left the office. Also, after I "broke the ice" after not fucking her, it was fine and started talking again.

Just trying to be clear!

Realize you aren't great with women. Get rid of the over-active ego. Yes, we've all had great experiences, but we should never let our ego say "I'm so great with women BUT this one is different!"

No. The reality is our experiences internalize these thoughts that we're "great" that we're the "shit." A man who has been in 2 long term relationships would consider himself "great" with women. It's subjective. A man in multiple relationships in terms of numbers would consider himself "great" and many other men would, but realize every situation is different. You are not a special snowflake. You are a man, that's it. You're not great and you don't suck with women regardless of your experiences.

The reality in this instance was just....a lot of ambiguity. Did you fuck her or didn't you? I mean you had this girl naked saying for you to put it inside her, and you don't. Whatever your reasons, you can't control her reactions. Talk to her about it than playing this bullshit texting game. There comes a point when a man who is really good with women knows when to stop the bullshit, and learn to move on. You "really like her" for whatever reason, but you have to make the choice.

You're right about the "great with women comment", totally true. I will work on that!

In terms of the the girl, no I didn't fuck her. At the time I didn't think much of it; I thought it may have been a better move to not fuck her as she had expressed reservations prior due to the fact that we work so near each other in the office.

A week has passed, I am not sure how to bring up this late-night ambiguity at this point.

And the texting game I have definitely been trying to cut out. I don't like games either so I have been straight to the point for a few days now: I want to see her.

My thought is that I will pull back and see, let her come to me as I am trying to make myself the prize.

your over thinking it

also, if you think your good with women, then more power to you.

theres nothing wrong with acknowledging your accomplishments. Blow your ego as much as you can for things your genuinely good at

Just blow it to yourself - not to people who are non-achievers.

The more you rehearse your mental achievements, the more you program your subconscious mind even more.

Its abundance mentality

I like to think I am confident, not cocky. And to be very honest I don't have a difficult time pulling women, when I want to-- I am a natural.

Any advice on how to chill out and not over think?

Thanks bro

Cmon guys any advice? It is going swell (I think) but I just want to hear some opinions.

Well its over so whatever...Definitely not happening anymore after last night haha