Hey guys,

At this moment, I am dating a girl that is a solid 10. Last month she admitted feelings for me, and told me she liked me. Since then we've been dating once a week. She paid for her own diner.

I've ran a solid game on her, and it felt natural. Although she has alot of moodswings, i was able to deal with them in a proper way.

As you guys all know, perfect 10s tend to be playing hard to get alot. So does she. She is either hot, or cold. Sometimes she kisses me out of the blue, an hour later, she is pmsing about stuff. I am perfectly able to succeed at all her shit tests. But sometimes, it seems that she wants me to chase her, for example a few days she can't stop texting me, and the day after she is the total opposite. And if i don't keep initiating the conversation, she won't talk.

My question is, in what extent should i chase her? Whenever i like or feel like it, or would this come across as needy or desperate?

I am currently dating 3 women 2 other 8s, so i don't have oneitis, and i am not desperate or needy. I just want to improve my skills, so that's why i am asking for you guys advices.

Thanks in advance!

Positivevibe

It sounds like you answered your own question, if your dating 2 others we'll assume your game is solid!


I'll bet that wile your chasing the 10, the two 8s are trying hard for your attention rite?

If it starts to feel like oneites, it probably is...that's when you know it time to slow your roll

Peace!

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

If she's the arrogant HB10 type bullshiting around with other guys as well:

chase other girls.
when she talks to you, be a little bit distant from time to time
when she talks on facebook: take a lot of time to respond from time to time
same goes with cell messages
keep your interest level below hers

it's gonna be hard, but it will pay off if she wants your dick.

just be unpredictable, busy and popular.

it seems like she's the one putting a game on you.women are unique but uniform.treat her like the other two you are dating.if you cant, then it might be a symptom of one-its.an HB10 should be gamed like an HB8, otherwise your game will blunder.

This.

having options does not mean that you are not needy, creating more options and filling your life with more things to keep you busy can help you stave off neediness because you will find it harder to invest yourself too heavily in one thing,

how ever, investment is investment, if you are overly invested in a girl who is not reciprocating the investment, naturally you are going to start valueing that which you have invested so heavily into, doesn't matter if you have 20 girls, if you pay more attention to one and give her extra time and effort, eventually she will mean more, even saying a girl is perfect is a good sign that you are already investing into this big time, she is a big deal to you, this is important, it's not nessicarily a bad thing, but you can't get so hung up on getting something just because you have invested yourself into the process
to what extent do you wish?
what is a practical cut off?
what standards/expectations do you uphold when dating women? is she meeting them?
why is it so important you get her when you have 2 other girls on the team?
does it really matter if this goes well or not?

if you are truly not needy or desperate as you say, then simply practise your skills just like you want, just game her like normal, screen her like normal, and escalate, she is just a girl, in her head she probably feels just as imperfect as every other girl, the idea that she is any different is simply something you are projecting onto her, not nessicarily her subjective reality

GOOD LUCK

First of all thank you guys for the great responses! One of the 8s is actually always seeking for my attention and is easy to close. However like pumpington said already, I have to deal with the 10 the same way as I deal with the 8s.

When we meet in real life, I am perfectly able to do this, also on the phone, but if I text with her, I find it hard to read her congruency e.g. she seems always busy working or hanging out with her friends. This is however only if i text her first, when she text me first, she got lots of time to talk, more time than I do, so i have to cut the conversation, this is the same with calling.

2 things i know for sure at the moment are: She is not dating any other guys, i know this because i am good friends with her best friend.

The second thing is, when she is busy, she doesn't contact me at all. When she is busy I know she is genuinely busy.

When she is not paying attention for me, (and i know for sure she's waiting for me to contact her, from the mutual friend i talked about) should I contact her, even if i have initiated 2 times before? On the side note, she also contacts me 3 times in a row sometimes.

So if i want to treat this 10 like i treat other girls. I can't be the one to take initiative just slightly more than i do with other girls right? or do i have to keep her just interested enough to keep her around me by initiating just a little more.


Those are some good questions pumpington,

to what extent do you wish?
-I wish to chase her slightly more than I would normally do with more easy women, you see, some women need to be treated differently just to keep them around you, especially the women that are very good looking and have a great social circle. I am perfectly able to behave the way i behave to any other girl to her, but ofcourse she is playing hard to get more often, and is actually pretty good in doing so. I am very sure she wants me. But the problem is, if she is not initiating more than i do, i got the feeling that it will come of as needy, or desperate.

E.g. last week I asked her to come over to my place, she couldn't because she was genuinely busy, but she told me she would call me if she got a day off as soon as she know it. I know she wants me to ask again for the date. But I just refuse so the date won't take place.

Also, I am very busy working and working out for almost 70 hours a week so i had to cancel a date she suggested too.



what is a practical cut off?

Actually when she keeps canceling dates, and is not showing any signs of interest. But that i think will not happen, and as you know, it is natural to choose a 10 over an 8, so I'd rather hang out with the 10 then the 8s. Still I think i have to adjust my game a bit.


what standards/expectations do you uphold when dating women? is she meeting them?

Actually, when I am dating someone, I want her to be happy with me, I want her to have a strong masculin man by her side. That would make me more happy then just dating her to fuck her. I want to give her my energy and love so deeply, that she can't even consider hanging out with other dudes.
I want little in return, just her company and feminine energy. That's it.

When she is good enough, I'd consider a longer relationship with her, but only if she 100% wants it too.


why is it so important you get her when you have 2 other girls on the team?

I enjoy her feminine energy, she has the looks i prefer, and she is just a really cool women to hang out with. The other 8s got looks but are bit more boring, and i tend to only prefer having sex with them.


does it really matter if this goes well or not?

It depends, if i offer her my masculin energy, but the next day she is distant or something because she has e.g. she is having a fight with one of her friends. I think it's sucks she reacts that on me. (not that i will talk or act differently when she does so, but it feels different).

So my main question is, if she is not contacting me a longer period of time, should i contact again just because she wants it too. Or do whatever I want to do. Or do something else?

What would you do in this situation? And don't say date more 10s, my time is limited. And my goal is to improve on my sticking point here.


Thanks in advance!

the easy part is always do what you are feeling you want to, often your gut will point you in the right direction

the tricky part how ever, is when you start falling into needy patterns and realize you are over investing yourself in a girl, you need a certain point where enough is enough when you have to just mentally move on from her, still keep her as an option, but start emotionally distancing yourself from her before you become too hooked

you could try getting her out with you, just think of something fun to do, then when out flirt with her and be a little more straight forward with her about what you want, but beyond making things a little more clear just run your game how ever you run it as usual and have fun, since you want to chase harder, please do that, get up on this girl and try to make something happen, don't worry about going to her or not going to her, just worry about if you are feeling needy for this, because if you are, you need some time apart from her for yourself (not for her) so some of these feelings can die down a bit, next when you start making your intentions a little more clear, if she is reciprocating keep moving things forward and sleep with her, if she is pulling away make your attention something normal, be one of the guys chasing her, then when you feel you have reached your cut off of enough is enough, withdraw abruptly and mentally move on, if she likes you and craves your attention she will start contacting you more and trying to get you to hang out to get that good attention back, just be straight up with her about what you want after that point, if she won't deliver then never mind her, don't be rude, don't be overly nice, just be normal, be you, don't try to act or do anything weird, start making yourself less available to contact over the phone, and more available to hang out with in person, also when inviting her out, phoning might do you better then inviting her out over texting

and you MUST, I RE-STRESS THIS, you MUST keep your neediness in check, if her attention is good enough and she is playing hard to get and you dont cut yourself off from getting needy, then you will most likely get her attention, but that is likely all, you have to get up on this chick, sex should be the goal, the femanin energy will come with the girl once she invests in you as a sexual partner and is more likely to stick around once a bigger investment has been made (sex), if it was me, sex is the focus, not her attention, go for the sex, if its a no go, pull back, only game for the sex, just like you would with the ''boring'' 8s, no different, she is not important, even if you think she is, that is just emotional investment you have placed in this girl due to assigning her a high value in your head, realize it and keep it in check

GOOD LUCK

Thank you very much pumpington for your great input! Going to change my mindset to which you suggested. She just texted me out of the blue again, and send me a photo of her, acted a bit insecure about it. I genuinely thought it was beautiful, so I told her so. Without seeking for any reaction, we chit chated a bit.

So my goal will now be, have sex with her, without actually come across as being needy, or feeling needy. Just act natural, and congruent, if she starts the hard to get test again, I will become a little more distant and so on,

Peace, and hope to speak to you again soon.

Positivevibe

Quick update for the ones who were following this thread.

Asked the 10 out again, but she flaked, then she explained me through text, without me asking for anything:

-She has fear of commitment
-Sees a psychologist for her problems
-Thinks I think to different to life than she does, E.g. I think my career is more important than a relationship, she things the exact opposite.
-She told me she still really really likes me, but has mental problems.

I told her it was no big deal, and wished her a good luck in life. But told her that I can't stay friends, because I see her as a sexual being. Also told her she shouldn't have done this over text. She appologized and told me she was going to call me tomorrow.

Not sure wheter I am going to pick up the phone, and if I will, I am not sure what to tell her.

Any suggestions, or leave it like this?

Positivevibe

Handling this quite well Vibe!

I see nothing wrong with picking up the phone, as long as you keep your frame of "I told her it was no big deal, and wished her a good luck in life. But told her that I can't stay friends, because I see her as a sexual being." keep it short, like she is not quite done vibe!

Good luck Bro!

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

You're in a good place mentally, and there is a lot of great advice being dealt here...


Like Heywood said, answer the phone. You've already scolded her for doing this in text, so don't even bring up again. If she does, interrupt her, dismiss it, and say it's a non-issue, that yesterday's passed - this removes her frame of "I need to be nice letting him down". It confuses her and puts her in a more receptive place.

Be succinct, energetic and as if everything in your world is cool. Some guys fall into the trap when a woman says "I need to get this cleared up and I'll have time for you"... or "If my boyfriend doesn't work out... I'll call you", or something similar... Don't allow that.

Stating that you're not a consolation prize, and her window has shut/is shutting rapidly will qualify to her that you're not a door prize, you're a grown-ass man and you can cut her off as easily as she can you. My goal IF that call came would be to seize back control of that frame and leave a strong impression. MANY men/women want to always have that 'safety net' person in their life - I'm just not going to BE that guy. If shit happens and I can fuck her later - cool.... But there's no reason to stress about that now. The time/energy I can spend stressing about a chick I didn't fuck undermines my time/energy to fucking another.

Sarge on!

RR

_________________
Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

So true for both side of the fence! I have been guilty of having a "safety net" too many times!

It's not the same as a fuck buddy!- as well as in the past letting women use me as their emotional tampon! DON'T do this, it is a huge waste of time- and NEVER leads to pussy!

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Not sure how long the two of you were "seeing" eachother, but it is not a crime to give a little chase! You can still be the cool alpha male and tell a girl that she is beautiful!

I think that too many people forget that these girls are actually people with opinions, feelings, emotions, and fears! Remember that the GAME is to get the girl, the rest cannot be scripted so you must adjust both yourself as well as your partner if you wish to have an actual relationship.

You can make her feel wanted and appreciated without giving up all of your power. If she starts to take advantage of you connecting with her, then you step back and put her in her place for a while. She will learn that the "real you" is a prize that she must earn! My 2 cents...


Peace...

_________________
Crypto...
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All girl's are Freaks...It is your job to bring it out in them! - Crypto

You need to stop bending over and letting her ass fuck your brain! - Heywood

Thank you guys to let me know I am in a good place mentally, and handled it well, appreciate your feedback!

So probably the last update for this thread.

Eventually she called me a day later, she was busy, had been working alot, and saw her walking out of the gym when I drove by (coincidentally).

So the conversation was very clear, I could her from her voice that she was congruent and honest. I know her for a longer time, and when she is lying, her voice changes, and she comes up with ridiculous excuses.

So the conversation went as follows (she called just 20min ago):

-Asked her how she was doing, just normal chit chat to makes sure she is at ease, and to let her know that it's not that much of a big deal for me.

-She was sorry for the delay, and everything she did and say to me the last couple of days. I told her it was ok, and I appreciated her honesty

-I asked her to explain her situation again, got the exact same answer as in text.

-She told me she didn't want to lie to me by continuing dating with me, she didn't
want to play with my feelings. Told her she did the right thing, thanked her for that.

-She was abused in her most recent relationship by her ex. That's why she has fear of commitment. I know her ex, he actually got jelous at me because I was dating her. And actually tried to beat me up for this. Ofcourse fighting is not an option for me, so luckily I was able to handle it the proper way.

-She said, I hope if i see you in the gym, I hope you would say hi to me, and I hope we can talk normally. Told her that that was ok, but also told her that I will not be there for her anymore if she has issues. She appreciated me.

-Last thing I told her was good luck with your problems, hope you will be able to deal with them. And maybe we will see each other again in the future.

-She again told me she was sorry, and she was sure that I was going to find a nice girlfriend soon. Because she still thinks I am an attractive guy.


Looks like this girl is actually telling me the truth, haven't seen many 10s and 9s in my life handling it like this.

So guys, not every girl is mean or heartless there is hope for all of us ha-ha.

If someone wants to know more about this thread, let me know, I would gladly explain it to you.

Positivevibe