So I'm an AFC, trying to learn stuf about pick-up to improve my game, which is like zero at the moment.

The problem with me is that I simply don't know what to talk about. It's not completely that I run out of things to say, it's that I don't know any more things to say that aren't too boring.

Yesterday was my first night out since I've found out about PUA and I wanted to use that night to talk to lots of girls and k-close or #-close as many as possible. Well, I ended up only having to guts to talk to only one girl, almost at the end of the night. But she was a HB8, a girl I would normally not talk to, but I thought 'fuck it, lets give it a try'.

First she asked how old I was (I think a friend of mine told them it was my birthday, which isn't true.. but they like doing that for some reason), I told her 21. She turned out to be 21 as well. Then I asked her where she's from, she answered and asked where I was from. I told her, but she didn't know the place. So I sort of told her she ought to know that and that she's stupid (neg). She asked me why I was here, so I told her I got to uni here. She asked me what I study, I answered medicine. She acted a bit impressed (girls like med-students). I asked her what she does, she said it was some kind of institution where they teach shit to children.

And from that point, I did not know what to talk about. I could go into her work more, asking what's it like, or what exactly she does. But I don't want to talk about that boring stuff, neither does she. So I don't know, I just said: By the way, my name is ....... And she stuck out her hand, I shook it and she said her name. After that I just said: Well, I'll see you around and went away.


Like, what should i have said at that moment? I can't suddenly turn the subject into something like sex: By the way, what's your favorite position in bed?


So here's the positives of yesterday:
I acted confident while talking, didn't stutter or anything.
She seemed a bit interested and smiled while we were talking.
I talked to a HB, whom I normally don't approach.

Negatives:
Took me way too long to talk to a girl and talked to only 1 (AA).
Didn't know what to talk about as the conversation went on!!
Didn't close any girl at all that night.


I know HOW to talk: confident, cocky and funny, a few negs here, maybe some DHV-info about herself. But i don't know WHAT to talk about!


Tl;dr:

Its like this:

1. Opener
2. ......
3. k-close


Could one of you PUAs please fill in the dots for me?


sorry for the long post, could've said this a lot shorter

Bump

I kinda want an answer for this.
I want you to tell me what are some interesting subjects to talk about. You know what I mean? You can't just simply exchange basic information and then proceed to kino escalation. There has to be a bridge in between that makes for a playful SPAM. I know this might be a vague question but could you at least try to answer?

Basically, you have to relax. Why does the pressure have to be on you the whole time to fill in the blanks? She has a mouth too.

Just be observant. Like in a club if somebody is dancing strangely I'll point it out to her and have a laugh about it. And then move it onto her saying I wonder how you dance.

Talk about things you see. Avoid gossiping and bitching. And if the conversation isn't flowing well then it's a sign this isn't going anyway.

What I did when I started out, I never knew what to say but when I was drunk I'd have a conversation with anyone. So I got drunk and tried to make a mental note of things I spoke about. It really was just observations. If a girl has geeky glasses you can tell her she looks like a geek and you like geeks. But obviously be playful or it will fail.

You're asking for months and years worth of practical experience to be put in a paragraph. It doesn't work that way, but I'll answer your question...

For me, after the opener, I cold read. I identify commonalities, I tell stories, I stack congruently, I VAK model, I tease, I bounce and open another set, I return, isolate, I build rapport, I monitor chemistry, I push/pull, I neg, I have her kiss me first, I do a dozen different things and that changes depending upon where, when and whom I'm sarging.

Hope that answers your question.

RR

_________________
Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

Med student here as well. ;-p I posted this a while ago and I think it should help.


have thought about it this a LOT and is one of the things I used to worry about most, even though I've always been a good conversationalist (with people my own age that is). Pointers.


Stay out of your head and focus on the person in front of you, if you actually listen, as opposed to thinking what you are going to say in your head, you will be able to stay stuff back.


If this is at a bar or a cold approach, realise you have the opportunity to say/do whatever in the world you want and with no consequences practice saying whatever you want.

What do you talk about with your friends, even shy people have conversations that last hours with friends. You've been on the earth for however many YEARS and so has she you could generate tons of convo.

Especially at first you could make statements over questions to avoid interviewer mode. E.g Instead of "What do you do?"-- " You have the vibe of an artist" why? blah blah And when you do ask questions ask big questions the why's and the emotions etc.

Build momentum go to the bar with someone who puts you into that social/ talkative state. Or have your phone with you in case you lose that feeling and can text/ call friends. Practice talking to everyone guy friends, guy strangers girls etc.

Escalating and changing the dynamic of the interaction will shift things big time. If you are talking from a distance and she is about to leave or rejoin her friends she is unlikely to invest in the conversation. If however you are sitting down somewhere or you've already k closed or you've moved location with her things are completely different. You can talk about deeper things and she will contribute more.


If all else fails learn some back up routines and games to give you more self assurance and you can drop them later. (e.g cube, style's rings, jealous ex gf). Some alcohol can be useful as a crutch at first to help you.


And keep practising and you'll realise how easy conversation is.

* Edit: Also if you actually have an interesting life with interesting experiences it will help.

And Chief's guide to outer game (sticky in the pua lounge) has a topic on conversation that is basically screening and qualifying which is interesting.

That's my 2 cents as they say.
GL