Maybe I am over thinking it, but everyday when I go to college or anywhere I say no matter who I talk to I want to have a brilliant and fun interesting and non-stop conversation. Which never actually ends up happening for me. It ends up dying down within like 2-3 minutes of very conventional questions.

I generally take this attitude towards people who I know (but that I wouldn't classify as a friend). These range from anyone in my class who knows my name, or anyone who my friends randomly introduce me too.

HOW can I keep a fun and interesting conversation going with just about anyone (including women)? I don't want to ask typical questions like "how was your day? what are your weekend plans? how was the test?" I want them to be genuinely engaged.

Thanks for any tips or advice.

What do you offer that is interesting?

What opinion concerning local matters?

What new event is happening around there?

What place have you been that was exotic?

What do you do that defines you?

Start answering those questions for yourself, then start remembering stories that display that message you're trying to put forth. When you're in conversation, make it natural. Start a story, let her tell one before you finish - then start another, and before you end that go abck and finish the first one - it's a theory called stacking. If done properly, you're prepared for a good conversation...

BUT - let the conversation end at some point and walk away. That keeps the interest.

RR

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

When you are with friends can you keep a convo going? Remember a time when you were just so relaxed you didn't care what the fuck came out of your mouth. Ever had that? And suddenly you can talk non-stop. You feel confident and you can be playful with people.

This is how you need to be with others. It's what many call being in the zone. How to get there? Everyone is different. But thinking about what to say will NOT get you there. It is being in the moment and not censoring anything in your head. There is always something in your head. Hell, sometimes when I have nothing to say to a girl I may just go, "Oh look an awkward silence. I love them, don't you?!" or some bullshit. I am observant in what happens. Even if the stuff I say is completely random. I have been called random, funny, etc. because I say shit that comes to my head, without thinking whether or not to say it, or what to say in the first place. If you go in with a plan, you will most likely fail.

Go in and be like, fuck it! Put on a smile and start talking about what is in your head right now. Unicorns? I fucking love unicorns! Whatever.

I struggled with this when I first began to go out.

In fact, I posted the very same question almost a year ago: how-to-keep-the-conversation-flowing-vt94722.html

Trust me dude, the only way to improve on this is to get out there and approach, approach, approach and have conversations with strangers.

You'll no longer have this problem the more you continue to get out there. There's no magic pill that will make your conversations longer... you'll simply force yourself based on experience to get better at it.

If I had to tell you what 'clicked' in my head it was simply the ability to take what the girl is saying, rephrase it, or expand on it and draw some sort of commonality. Usually, you can simply rephrase/make a statement based on what she says and she'll expand upon it.

Good luck!

Yeah just practise it, a lot. Just take every chance to talk to people, girls/guys/children/grown up, everyone.

But what helps me a lot is to listen VERY carefully to the person you're talking to (and to yourself), and when you're listening to them you'll find some new subjects in the things they're saying (or you are saying). I think that is one key secret to keep a convo goin'.

My favorite question to ask is

"If you could wake up anywhere in the world tomorrow, where would it be?"
and if you're in class at the moment or someplace boring you can say "And don't say 'anywhere but class because that's a lazy answer!' or "so you'd wake up in a dumpster and that'd be better than this class??"

I can easily answer that question. Go out, and live your life.
After going to Israel, I always have something talk about with any Jew, or any person who just loves to travel.

After having a road trip with my dad across the country, I can now relate to any person from any state.

After going to my first rave, I can relate to anyone who parties hard.

Just live your life, live it hard.

This can be a bit out of subject but I both have problems about keeping an ongoing conversation flow and starting a new conversation. I know it's mostly depands on practice to talk with stranger but I need some good openers... Can anyone give some links (If there is an openers subject) or some opener examples ?

A new opener can be ANYTHING.

"Hey did you hear about that boy who got bit by a shark?" Then fill in with the back story - he was full of shit, was cut by his surfboard, made it up and the ER doc said he was full of shit. Imagine, one boy closed the beach and panicked people... that's fucked up!

That happened here. It was news. It was cool to talk about and get her opinion.

You want to avoid 'interviewing' her. Most guys do this "What's your name?" "what do you do?"... Nobody's original, nobody can converse about real shit anymore. So - I'm always different. I'm informed. Why? Does it matter? Probably to get pussy - but I am informed. You never run out of shit to say. Add in your own stories, bounce subject to subject - keep each one interesting, and you can stack to the point you never run out as you kino.

The most important aspect to me is her initial mindset. In a club, I want to establish 2 things quickly:

1) "I'm not staying" -- Drop the FTC as soon as you open.
2) "I'm wanting your opinion" (or want to shock her). Why? This disarms her. Putting her in an instructional frame of mind rmoves the ASD somewhat and she's now 'teaching' you. Continue frame, offer reflection on her words (validation), and then either find a commonality and attack that or do a cold read. Follow her IOIs fromt here and escalate accordingly.

I don't worry about what I say nearly as much as why I'm saying it... When at a club, I'm wanting her to understand I'm safe, and open to her opinion. That's my starting point, where I want her to be...

Hope that helps.

RR

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

Thranrill,
PM me so that we dont Hijack this thread! I can try to answer your questions and point you in the right direction to get started. You are on day one of the rest of your life!

Peace...

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Crypto...
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All girl's are Freaks...It is your job to bring it out in them! - Crypto

You need to stop bending over and letting her ass fuck your brain! - Heywood

Slamboy,
I think that RetiredRodeo is spot on!

You have knowledge in your head based on life experiences and things you have learned. Work life experiences into convo's and pay attention to peoples responses to you. Adjust as you go...The best conversations are the ones where YOU only have to talk about 20-30% of the time.

Peace...

_________________
Crypto...
______________________________________
All girl's are Freaks...It is your job to bring it out in them! - Crypto

You need to stop bending over and letting her ass fuck your brain! - Heywood

Thanks RR that realy helps. And sorry Slamboy for making a reply out of subject. I am a new forum user and just learning what to write to where It's all my bad :/

Just a point I thought I'd chuck in here - although not too detailed as I think most of the stuff above is all pretty good already.

However, one of the main problems for me is that I can ask questions etc. but more often than not I just don't really give a shit about the response. This can even be with friends (not normally my closest friends, but still good friends all the same) - I ask something to almost be polite, then when I get the answer I find myself just pretty much grunting to acknowledge I heard it, but really I don't care about the answer in any way shape or form.

When I'm in my own world that's fine, but it's not great for socialising! The only way to get round it though is to pretend to be interested. People love enthusiasm. Actually, that's probably the main piece of advice - just be enthusiastic. If you're enthusiastic in the conversation, whatever it's about, you'll keep it going. When you're talking with your friends, why does the conversation go on longer than with strangers? Really it's because you're enthusiastic about the same stuff - you have a long talk with your mate about the football or cars or girls or whatever. With strangers and not-so-close friends/acquaintances, I think the key to having conversations is really showing that enthusiasm, even if you have to fake it (which I definitely do most of the time!)

Even if you don't really know about a topic, still be enthusiastic. Make it like you really want to find out more about it, and that you're really interested in why that person does it, or how it affects them as a person and stuff like that.

And as people say above - practice. At first you might have to fake this and it might go not so well. Then you'll be faking it but it'll get better. And eventually it'll just become second nature.

(As an edit I thought I'd just point out that whilst above I said pretend to be interested in stuff, it's actually better if you aren't just pretending, but if you do develop an interest in life, an interest in people, and an interest in everything you can. Interesting people aren't just those who have got great stories to tell. They're also the ones who let people share their great stories. And most people will only normally crack out their best stories to people they think are also really enthusiastic/passionate about whatever the story is about.)