Dating a woman (40) for 4 months now, things are going well and we are comfortable with each other being ourselves. The issues I am having is that she never pays or offers to pay for dinners out, although she cooks for me at her home. She also never even said thank you for dinner the last two times we were out for dinner. She also never initiates kissing/sex and doesn't like PDA yet responds to my advances in private well. She is kind of old fashioned, and she said she was hurt in a prior relationship a year ago, so maybe I should be more patient? Maybe I am over-analysing, but we get along really great and share a lot of interests, and I know there is good long term potential. If that weren't true, I'd been outta there a long time ago. Your thoughts?

Let me preface this that I am from southern Kentucky USA and live in Nashville now so I have met a lot of "old fashioned" style gals like this. There are a good bit of women out there that will not offer to pay for dinners out, split the check, or leave tip. They truly and honestly believe its the mans responsibility to take care of that. If that is something that bothers you personally then you can do a few things about it.

1. You can talk to her about it and your reasons for why it bugs you. Maybe you have a financial reason and need her to help out. Truth is 4 months into this you should be able to open up to her about this.
2. Go out to eat at cheaper places.
3. Don't do your dates around dinner time.
4. If this is a deal breaker for you, then you can always leave.

Again with the PDA...many girls like this aren't cool with a lot of PDA in public outside of holding hands or maybe a peck on the cheek here and there. Great news is girls like this are really hard for your average guys to pick up with because they are use to resisting advances in public. It is just in how they are raised and view the world. You said it yourself that she responds to you in private which is proof she likes you and is attracted to you.

Your options...

1. Talk to her about it if PDA is something that you want in a relationship, maybe, she is open to trying new things.
2. You can accept that she doesn't find that socially acceptable and be happy with what happens in private. I can tell you from being a private person at first I was really uncomfortable with PDA. I've sinced changed that LOL.
3. If this is a deal breaker for you then you can always leave her over it.

I'll finish up by saying that you have been with this woman for 4 months. In your own words you said things are going well and you are comfortable being yourselves around each other. You also said there is good long term potential. That is a great thing brother! I would openly and honestly talk to her about these things that are bothering you. That is what people in a relationship do...they go to each other to talk...not a forum full of pick up guys. Bottom line is the two of you are going to have to make it work...or come to the conclusion that you've hit a deal breaker.

Good luck and God bless.

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Awesome! Thank you...that is just what I wanted to hear. I am a pretty patient person and see the potential with her. We have had a few deep discussions (marriage, morals, kids, etc) but I am trying to keep things light and fun and not be too serious since she has showed emotions around those topics. I have opened my heart to her and am expecting her to reciprocate, but she is not wired like that I am learning. I have a feeling it will take some time. I came to the forum because I don't want to make a 'deal" of this with her. It's not a deal breaker and I am adjusting to her not liking PDA. It is the first time I have dated a woman who doesn't ever initiate a kiss after months, and it feels that she doesn't have the attraction. I guess I just have to gain the confidence knowing that she has to become comfortable with me more and things can get better with time. Thanks again for your wisdom.