I dated this girl for 2 and a half years, and then another 2 and half years off and on. In all, we were together roughly 5 years.

Roughly 3-4 weeks ago I accused her of being lesbian. Mainly because all her new friends were bi or gay. We were still banging when I came home, but she had a completely new circle of friends. But 3 weeks ago she got weird on me and said "I love you but I can't see you anymore. I'm seeing someone else". That's when the lesbian discussion came up and she denied denied denied.

She's always gotten erked out about even the notion of messing around with another girl. I watched her and her best friend make out naked in front of me for about 10 seconds and it was the most awkward kiss I've ever witnessed. Hell, I remember getting pretty heated because she said she would rather have a 3some with 2 dudes and her rather than her and another girl and guy(The though of her being double penetrated pissed me off lol).

Well, about a week ago she texted me out of the blue telling me she was indeed lesbian and to keep it hush. Although I suspected it to a degree, I can't say I'm not surprised still. I mean I spent nearly 5 years with this girl. It's not just her either. The girl I was with 9 months before I met the girl of 5 years is also a lesbian now.

Maybe I'm attracted to those type of women, but I just dot know what to think of it. Was I delaying the inevitable or do you think there is something I am doing to these women??

Im not the most alpha dude you will ever meet but I do hold a strong male presence. I played football up until Junior year of college and I'm your typical jock with a touch of romanticism. I can't really think of anything I did personally but this is somewhat bothering me. It doesn't bother me that she is a lesbian but it does bother me not know the science behind her behavior.

Any thoughts fellas? Figured this would be a little different than your normal AFC topics you see on here daily.

For a little more insight here is the last texts exchanged between us.

Her "Ima be honest with you.. I am seeing a girl, sorry I didn't tell you before."

Me "That really does explain alot. I can live with that. Good luck with her, and I forgive you for everything you've done."

Her "Ok..I'm sorry but do me a favor and don't tell people i don't want my family to know yet.."

Her "And don't act like you was a saint!"

Me "I don't want to argue about whether you think I was a good boyfriend or not. But atleast your dating someone I can't beat up now lol. I have so many questions I'd love to ask but I'll just let it be. Good luck, hope you find the happiness that you've been looking for."

Her "Ok. But u didn't turn me gay or anything lol. But yeah I hope u don't try to beat up a chick! And thanks I hope u do too.. There has to be more dark skinned girls that shave like an allstar:P"

Me "You wouldn't be the first girl to love me that I turned lesbo. It's flattering actually. You were decent in bed though for a lesbian"

Her "Lol how's that flattering? I'd feel stupid if one of my exs turned gay! And I'm not a full blown lesbo I still am attracted to you. And you were decent for a straight guy :p"

Her "And honestly u can't turn someone gay hun lol it's either there or it's not."

I didnt respond after that.

It's good you didn't respond...even I was wtf-ing your responses....

You, my brother, have just encountered what researchers call erotic plasticity. A high erotic plasticity is common among women. It's not your fault. On the other hand, men are either erotically men or erotically gay. We are fairly black or white when it comes to sexual preferences.

Women have fluctuating sexual preferences over time. Hence, you are more likely to see women in porn experimenting with a horse or a dog. Most men on the other hand just would not go to the effort of getting a ladder or a chair so they can bang a horse's pussy. However, a few women don't mind going through the trouble of an awkward position with a horse. Simply, women are more likely to experiment sexually than men.
Here's a free link to the scientific journal, http://www.hawaii.edu/hivandaids/Gender ... _Drive.pdf

That one is from R. F. Baumeister which was published at the Journal of Sexual and Relationship Therapy Vol 19, No. 2, May 2004. You'll have to download it at once though. The trouble with this free scientific journals is that they don't stay free for long. If you're not able to download the scientific article immediately, you might be required to shell out some +30 bucks a few hours from now.

I can't explain the article to you in simple English right now since I've got work to do. You'll have to weave through the jargon all by yourself. That's as far as I can do to help you right now.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Wow what dastardly things have you done to make her a convert?