Help! First hangout failure!



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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 10:27 pm 
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Ok I really messed up everything. Asian Hb6 in college. We did a h.w. together and after that we went to eat something. Don't know of that count as a date. But it was just the two of us. Her and me. And I basically made eye contact, was fun smiling but didnt talk much and wasnt as funny as I know I could be. I'm actually funny but in front of girls I fail. Any ways, we took the bus, then went somewhere and grab something and ate. And then I just got frozzen. Didn't speak much and she was shy. I was looking around cause I didn't know know what to say. She is shy so I did the questions, also she doesn't speak Gud English. I ran out of topics I didn't know what to say. Also she was all the time with her phone. I probably won't hangout with her again and I knew I just had that one chance but I know I messed up. Now how do I recover from these, I got her number weeks ago. But didn't text her. We just text today for the homework.
Anyway after this mini date, she hasnt text me. Should I?
I know I haven't build much comfort. How do I go from here.
Please help me on this one I will really appreciate it.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 10:54 pm 
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Dude, you have to get into a fun vibe. You know what solves this "freezing" stuff? Teasing her. That will get you on a role. I used to get frozen, too. I wouldn't know what the hell to say or when to say it. Now I just have fun; I tease the girl, I ask her stuff, I tell her about something I read today or yesterday.

The problem here is simple. You are putting a lot of pressure on this. This is what freezes you. No one can truly tell you how to take off that pressure, because only you know how to have a good god damn time!

Once you stop thinking about "I need to get this girl! What should I say?!" it will come to you. Read up on stuff here, look around and you will slowly get a feel of which direction to go in.

Be a fun guy, don't apologize for being forward. Heck, you could've even commented on the silence and made it funny! In the end, who cares what she thinks, man? This is you trying to have a good time and if she doesn't want a good time, her loss!

As for trying again with this girl. Sure try it! Next time be talkative. Tease her, flirt with her. If she responds well it might be on. If she doesn't respond well, it's off and unfortunately you'll have to move on.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 11:17 pm 
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Thanks for the reply.
Yes I teased her a lil twice.. She reply back pushing me and laughing. But I didn't wanted to go on with that, To avoid getting her mad. Yes I had a lot of pressure because been gaming other girls, but finally I had the chance the hang out with this one so I really got excited and that's why I think I acted stupid. Idk about IoIS but she said she like my hoodie, also she was who aske me to go eat something. But then se just either got shy or I just turned her off. She spend a lot of time texting...
There were big silences everywhere. Didn't kino her either(I know I should have)
So she's hasn't text after this hang out. Should I, or maybe I should wait until I see her again in class. Should I start using text convos or it will make me look needy and interested.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 12:15 am 
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Ok. My advice: go for her. She asked you out. She pushed you and laughed (a classical good sign). NEVER be afraid to get her mad. There are time where I am just on a teasing roll. Unless you hit a touchy subject you should be good.

Now, of course she isn't going to text you! You haven't given her a reason. You need to initiate the contact now. Forget those awkward silences, they happen. Text something playful. Rember what you guys talked about, use that to start off your first text.

Do NOT say shit like I had a great time, we should do it again. Your only goal in texting is to create or continue a possible spark between you two. Therefore be dominant and teasing and when the time comes (when you feel she deserved it either after having texted you for a while or she does something for you) you can say "hey I am going here tomorrow, you should come along."

Don't apologize for a thing (unless you truly did hurt her), you are the man here, take control of the situation now.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 3:10 pm 
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Yeah I think I have to build more rapport, so should I keep talking about me and dhv myself, or I should focus on her. I already asked her almost everything about her. How do I keep getting her more comfortable. And I think I will wait until tomorrow when I see her in class again and see if we go eat again or go somewhere.
And one last quick question, how do I keep building the spark if where I live the weather right now, this and the next week will be bad, like thunderstorms. So probably no going out with her nowhere near, should I use texting in order to build more connection? Maybe to ask her if she wants to study together for the finals?(comin next week)
Thanks a lot Traveler!
Ps. Are gifts ok to give away at this stage, Like makin her cupcakes, she wanted me to bake for her. Im a good baker. Is it a good DHV?


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 4:10 pm 
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OK, so what you want to do, seeing as your first proper interaction wasn't anything spectacular, is to really get things going next time around.

Forget about what you should talk about and just talk. About yourself, about her, it doesn't really matter. Heck I talked about how heroin works to a girl once and she was really interested. It's not exactly WHAT you talk about, but how you come across when you are talking about it.

To build the spark you don't need good weather dude. You just need you and her. What I mean with spark is what I said above. Tease her, be funny, be yourself - as in stop putting pressure on this situation and talk about what YOU wanna talk about. Did something happen in class? Did you roommates do some crazy shit? Last summer, what did you do then? Did you annoy your mom when you were a small child? Do you still do it?

NO YOU DO NOT GIVE GIFTS OF ANY SORT. She asked you to bake something? Invite her over and make her help you bake it. That's what I did last week. We baked pancakes - she told me I should bake some and I told her she should help me, cause, you know, my dog has really high expectations of me and expects these pancakes to be perfect!

If you are a good baker, then you can SHOW her, have her there with you. This is a really good way to get her over to your place. Use it.

Do not suck up to her. Don't just DO things for her. Make her earn these things. Did she earn a cupcake? And being cute doesn't earn her anything. Did she do something for you?

Study together for finals? Sure, why not. Find a way to spark that up, though. Cause studying will be boring unless you make it fun, and she will have wished it was fun if it isn't.

Good luck man!


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 6:15 pm 
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Dude its not a date. You were just socializing with her. What you did is nothing. In fact, I had the same experience just three weeks ago. I thought it was a mini date, but it was just some lunch with this girl, nothing more.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 12:47 am 
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Well she actually Asked me to go eat with her, well idk if it's or not a date. But I was alone with her, and didn't do my best. Is it true Wat they say that we just get one shot per woman, so does it mean I failed and messed up, or I still can do something about it. Cause first impressions are critical, and mine wasn't the best. Hope next time I see her I really make her laugh and get more confi


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 1:09 am 
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Thanks traveler.
So yeah basically I'll see her again at school. I'll be the funny guy that I'm usually am. Not caring not pressure bout her. So is it Ok to ask her to eat out or something. Cause I just see her couples minutes after class. So I don't have really time to hang around with her and do the talking. I have to create more ways to see her. And I think texting it's not the best. I have to show her how funny I am. I got that point. Just don't know how but specially WHEN to do it, because i dont see her much.
Really the main point is, create ways to spend time with her in order to do my game. should I actually ask her on a date already, or what will be the best.
Like I said weather is horrible here (I know, weather shouldn't be a problem, the main point it's me and her and me doing the talking) I got that point.
But still if it is bad outside how can I create ways to see her and build rapport. Time to use texting? Or what to do

Ps. I'll see her tomorrow, then after that i won't see her until. Next week. So any spark that I may create tomorrow, will it go away if I don't talk to her until next week. That's a lot of time. Then should it be the best time to use texting Until I see her again?
Tips on this please, thanks traveler.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 1:28 am 
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Do NOT ask her out on a date. It can easily scare her off.

To see her, tell her you are going somewhere and she should come along. There must be a few bars around. Get a drink with her casually.

If you will not be seeing her for a week, yes you should use text in my opinion.

So in the few minutes you do see her, be sure to engage in a quick chat and then tell her you are up to something someday this week. Like going to a bar or lounge to get some drinks. Do you know any?

See what her response is. Tell her she should come and then you can, the next day or so, use that as a text starter/continuation of conversation.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 2:56 am 
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The thing is shes 18, she doesn't go bars, neither drinks or anything. Also she doesn't speak really gud English, do pua techniques still apply here? I know being cocky and funny, smiling and good eye contact do help cause I tried on her and it actually worked. But when it comes to talking, I just try it to keep it simple, so she understands.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:01 am 
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Do you have a Starbucks? A cafe? What places do YOU go to? That's where you need to go and she needs to follow along.

And of course everything you learned still applies. Usually when a girl doesn't speak that good English I find it easier. You have an advantage over her by being more confident in the language. When you teach her words that can come off as quite attractive.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 4:55 pm 
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Yeah, that's what I was thinking telling her to come to a cafe I go to. Then Im letting her come to me. So basically, never ask her to gi with me, but tell her she can come. Got the points thanks. Then if she flakes and says she cant, or just don't want to because it's rainy outside. That means she's not interested and move on right? No 2nd chances ?

Btw just saw her today. We went to the cafeteria. Bad thing she was with her sis and other friends. So what I did( idk if it was the best) I just got talking with another girl, on a table next to hers. Having fun making this other girl laugh. So she actually saw it, I tried to let her know that I have other options. Idk if it was ok. She's a hb 6 and shy. does it still applies or that's just for 9, n 10s.

Anyways, later on, she and her sis, Ended uP coming to our table. I still tried to focus more on the other girl, even thou I have my target at my side.
She and I didn't talk much, almost anything, we were just talking in group, so no one on one, so didn't have time for do talking with her.

Ill probably see her again nxt week like I said. I might text her to keep things ok, something funny and small. No long convo I guess is better, or should I do more talking. Is it ok to already let her come to join something that I'll do or it's kinda too early( too many things in the same week).

Last thing, I think I should win her sis acceptance, cause she kinda protect her. So maybe invite( let them come) both?
Thanks for all man. I woukd really like to get this girl, because I want to show some other bitch that I can get a better girl than her( I know I shouldn't worry and care about others, but still want to get my little vengeance )
:P :twisted:
Anyway thanks for all the advices man.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 8:44 pm 
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next her


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 9:04 pm 
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No you didn't screw things up here. But you should slowly begin to move things forward man. You talking to another girl is just you being social, no worries there.

You need to somehow get her and you talking. Having fun. Somehow. So tell her to come somewhere, casually.

If she says no it doesn't mean she's not interested, but it may mean she's not interested YET. You still haven't had a chance to really charm her, if you know what I mean ;)

So don't force a conversation with her, try to let it happen, or at least make it look natural. Remember, you don't have anything here yet. Just freaking talk to her dude! You need to begin somehow. Yes let her come join something already. It's just you being nice and offering her to do something with you.

Remember, fun can win a girl. If she can feel like she's having a great time with you she will get interested.

I wouldn't text her just yet, because it would be very out of the blue. Imagine you are a girl and you met this random guy who you probably don't even like yet, and suddenly he starts texting you. You would respond out of politeness and maybe just have a short friendly conversation. But he wouldn't really be achieving anything cause you don't know him. So give her a chance to get to know you, THEN text her.

Start this up man!


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