Alright. I need serious help because a girl from work (does not directly work with me, from a different floor) has got me so hooked and confused like a Cow on a field of fake grass...

First she became a "friend" nothing too deep just friendly IM chats and email during work which has recently turned into friendly text messages outside the office.

About 2 weeks ago we got into a convo about life and she said our life needed changing, and I asked her.. Can u mention a few changes youve got in mind?

She mentioned about 4 but one of them were relationships. I asked if she had thought about any of the 4 she mentioned and laughed and said yes too all 4. Unfortunately the convo ended here cause I had plans. We haven't had a chat about this since then.

Now I know a lot of people have been mentioning - don't show her your affection or you "care" but I broke that rule a few times and they seemed to work well.. She started to txt me more promptly and more often. Comfort seemed to have also improved ( solo lunch trips increased) recently though I think after showing too much interest? I planned lunch (told her I wanted her to try something nice and she said yes! We should do it next week!) that week was two weeks ago and just before lunch she asked if we could take away instead she told me She urgently needed to meet a client via IM just before she left then txt me again to say sorry while she was already traveling. we were still cool during that week however I hadn't asked her for lunch from then. Last week it seemed like I offended her with something I said, (a bad joke teasing her). I apologized on Monday night via txt after an hour she missed my one call. She responded with " all good wasn't offended.
Have a good night. after this for some odd reason We stopped txtn or Even IMng at work.. On Friday we bumped into eachother a couple of times and had very short friendly hi n byes.. About lunch time she came around and asked what me and my colleagues were doing for lunch and joined. During this time I continued to ignore her walking with my buddy and even obviously saving a spot for my mate to sit next to her instead of me.. I was a real dick and I had no idea why!!? So I thought I'll stop this shit on the way back..and I did. But this time she was avoiding me!

Now I have no idea if she has mutual feelings.. I feel like she's given me hints she does and also hints she doesn't.. I've really been waiting for her to give me something solid so I can make a move but it's recently been so bad.. What should I do? How do I recover from this bad run?

Sorry for the life story. Peac

Never apologize for something because you've assumed you upset someone, that's a supplicating move. This seems to just keep dragging on to nowhere, I'd simply ask her what she's doing on the weekend cause you want to take her out.

Yeah I was in a similar situation recently. Had been emailing this colleague for last 6 months or so. She had a bfriend.

I did worst thing imaginable. Told her about my feelings. Sheesh! She's been trying to friend zone me, I've been resisting. Now we're not talking. Things have been all over the place since. even though iterestingly she left her bfriend.

Only thing I could do in the end to salvage any thread of dignity was to 'abort mission' and go cold turkey on her. This will bring about one of two possibilities:

1) If she's not into me then just as well.
2) If she is into me then she'll probably make this known.

I've been 'gaming' (I use the term extremely loosely) other women on POF and other everyday situations. I recommend this because it really does take your mind off her just in case you've been infected with 'oneitis'.

Oneitis is a terrible affliction and I wouldn't wish it on anyone...

although most love songs/stories are usually sung/written by someone with 'Oneitis'...

can you imagine a world without Oneitis? there's be no great love songs/stories...

Hi agent. I actually agree with you.. A lot .. To be honest I don't think it would have turned out like this if I didn't apologize. One big effing sigh lol.

RufaS - so sorry to hear that, how I'd hope our story would differ if I told her.
The reason why Ive been finding it so hard to make the move is because of the work environment. How awkward things would be.. My supervisor happens to be conveniantly located 2 offices away from her. And I go see him fairly often..

Heres me hoping the best for the two of us Rufas lol. Oneitis does suck hairy balls I haven't had it for awhile.. Anyways can one suggest where I can find the meaning for all these acronyms. Peace

Your supervisor is 2 offices away???

My Oneitis and supervisor are all in the same room!!!

I made my move and then some. The last time I tried to arrange a meeting she suggested I join her and her friend for lunch. I said 'How am i supposed to jump you with your bodyguard around?'

Anyway, there was no lunch. I wasn't willing to settle for her crumbs so I'm freezing her out.

Don't be sorry. She'll come good. I made a fucking mistake by opening my gob and telling her how i feel (BIG FUCKING MISTAKE)..but hey, you live and learn...

watch this space (which is what she said not too long ago when I said i'll take her up on her promise to punish me for something i did not too long ago.....)

Just gotta be strong no?

In all honesty though.. Would you have rather not open up to her than think what could have been? Isn't it better that now you can and know you have to move on?

No. It's worse because I know i had her right where i wanted her at one stage and i didnt know how to 'escalate' the situation and i wasn't man enough to 'escalate' the situation.

had i known then what i know now it might have been different. but hey, all is not lost. i'm still deep in the game at the moment. i'm just not betting all my chips on this one girl.

i've now got a few floating about on the fringes...

Escalation is really what it comes down to. Escalation...escalation. Ultimately, regardless of what Gambler or Indirect proponents say..in the end...it's always a YES/NO choice on part of the girl if she wants to take things further with you.

Obviously..the way you do things can affect this a lot.