So, I overheard some nasty comments from a work colleague the other day. She's quite ugly and boring, and I've never had much interaction with her at all as she never has anything interesting to say. Anyway, I think she may be getting a bit jealous of the attention that I give the other girls in work as I recently overheard her slagging me off to other work colleagues; she was being quite nasty and even tried to impersonate me talking to girls.

I didn't react when I overheard these comments as I wanted to remain cool. However, I'm not happy that a fat, boring nerd is doing her best to destroy my repuation with other girls/work colleagues, so what's the best solution to this scenario?

I also notice that one of the girls (HB9), whom is quite friendly with this bitch, has started to treat me differently in the last two weeks and I'm pretty sure its because this bitch is starting false rumours about me. Another male colleague told me about some stuff she said another time.

Frame control.

Clearly rumors are being spread. Rumors are essentially like frames or perceptions. The only way to kill them is to disqualify the rumors. If you are seen talking to girls, still do it. Go up to miss HB8 and talk to her. Frame control back. Start talking social, she can't blow you out..but keep in mind you're fighting a frame and it's not necessarily hard.

Depends how bad the frame was...if the girl made up some serious rumors, mimicked you as the creep talking to girls, and you know you never spoke with her...just go up to someone, be yourself, be confident despite their frame of you (yours will project) and just say yea I love meeting new people but it comes at a price because anyone who makes fun of that usually doesn't have that going for them you know. They aren't willing to put themselves on the line, to meet new people and to share new memories. Like the one I'm having with you right now

That's exactly what I thought too!

I still talk to the other people in the office and I have good social proof, but its a bit offputting at times when you know that there's haters out there trying to detroy your rep!


Would you confront this girl in public and make a few jokes about her in front of others or would you just play it cool?

I actually had a girl that told her friends she hated me. It was a 6 set. 5 of them all generally liked me and she was the only one that didn't. She was HB3 and I think she was definitely trying to sway it against my favor. And for no reason, it was not like I ignored her or anything...but she was pissy in general no matter the "Befriending"

I realized it though mid-way and admittedly gave up trying to friend her and kind of blew her out of the set. Then a HB9 told me she was saying shit, and that she told her off one day like it's not cool at all to be doing that. (Sweet? lol...some girls may not even reveal this even if they like you..but this girl had my back and my dick too fyi lol).

In a few days, I realized this ugly girl was there to stay..she was just in their circle...and they didn't care to exclude her from it anyways. In either case, I spoke to her more and used frame control..."You know you kind of seem to me like you have a lot going for you and sometimes it can be hard to connect with people but you genuinely seem like you can (this is a cold read...which is essentially like a frame control or behavior shaping).

I've been trying to know you for a while but we didn't talk much and I know it'd be so cool to know more. After I did this, she kept trying to qualify herself to me...she was desperately qualifying. It became clear she liked me, she even showed me a pic of her 16 yr old (but very fucking hot model sister from Georgia).

So I'm waiting 2 years for that. lol

Try a little harder to make friends with her, but this may be impossible if she genuinely hates you...

Calmly confront her. Keep your frame, act as if nothing happend when talking to her or anything else. Just let the rumour spreader know that it's not acceptable.

There are four kinds of people in the world.

1. People who will always have your back
2. People who have your back, but can be swayed
3. People who don't like you, but can be swayed
4. People who will never like you

You just have to accept there are number 4's out there. No matter how much social tap dancing you do. The plus side? 4 may not like you, but if your behavior is positive, you can sway a lot of 3's by just being awesome.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"