Hi all,

Last week I was on the train on my way to London. While on the train I started talking to this HB, and as we were getting off we walked for a bit talking to the underground/subway, and then I got her number. We got on pretty well during the interaction and she was laughing sometimes too. I then text her the next day as follows:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me 12.39: Hi, nice meeting u on the train yesterday. How did u spell ur name again lol? So are u an academic or a novelist :p

(With regards to the first text, she had said during the conversation that she had been writing as part of her job, so I asked her if she was writing a novel to which she replied she wished she was as a joke. She then said she was actually an academic as part of her job who wrote academic journals. Hence my opening text.)

HB 13.24: Hi same here. Hope you found your house. A novelist and an academic are not mutually exclusive, Lol.

(I was in London to view some flats as I’ll be moving there soon, which explains her response about the house)

Me 14.42: Yeah I found a couple of decent places, not sure which one yet. I’d say both together are very rare lol, but I think deep down u like being an academic

HB 15.13: Excellent. I would say you are a psychologist and people reader. Lol (By the way, I’m not a psychologist or anything like that, so she was joking in that text)

Me 17.19: Am I right then ? Hmmm so what else do u think I am lol

HB 18.45: No idea….you are the psychologist not me. Hahah.

Me 19.37: Lol ur the one that said I am. So if I were to say ur not a spontaneous and adventurous person, would I be wrong :p

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While the texting initially went well, it faded at the end and there was no reply to my final text. In hindsight, I don’t know why I sent that final text, think I was trying to escalate and try something different as I’ve had problems in the past converting numbers to dates.

Where did I go wrong? Perhaps I took too long to reply to her initial texts as she was replying fairly quickly.

Also, how do I rescue this from here? What would you send to her to start the conversation again? This text exchange happened 2 days ago so it’s been a long enough gap to text her again for one last go.

By the way, a HB who is both attractive and intelligent is just my type lol . As she is an academic (or claims to be lol), I’m thinking I should play this slightly differently than normal.

Women hate guys that are needy, and love guys who are a challenge. If you took too long to respond, which category does that fall into? You're supposed to take your time responding, you think she'd be attracted to you if you were a guy who kept texting back and forth? You're supposed to be busy with other girls or more important things.

The only time a girl does not text you back BECAUSE you were taking too long to respond is when she knows that there's a gap in value and wants to regain hand. By forcing you to reciprocate a higher texting ratio just to keep her engaged, she can reframe it for better positioning.

In your case, there just wasn't enough attraction and you contacted her too soon. After you number close and follow up, you're supposed to be more laid back. 90% of the time people fuck this up by sounding too EAGER during that first exchange. And as a result, the girl finds you incongruent with the first "smooth charming guy" assessment she had of you. From your excessive "lols" to your smileys, you scream eagerness. Women like masculine men, you sound anything but.

_________________
My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com

Ok lets start off by breaking down your text message. There was nothing wrong with the lol's and smiley faces, just try not to over do it, save a laugh and smiley face as a reward for something witty or funny she said. What you failed to do in your messages was engage her emotionally. When asking about her job, you should of got her to open up asked her emotional based questions like, " Is writing your passion"? or " why aren't you writing a novel? Is that something you want to do?

Also, the convo was kind of lame, When she mentioned that you were a psychologist, it would of been wise to used that as another tool to get her to open up, something like. I am not a pyschologist, but i am pretty good at reading people and situations. It's kind of my thing. How about you? what are you good at, besides looking good?
Ok here is why you did not get a reply. You wanted to know if she was spontaneous and adventurous, YOU SHOULD OF JUST ASKED HER. By saying it in the manner you did, you are leaving it open to be miss-interpreted, which i think may of happened. She probably seen it as you suggesting she is not theses things.

You also failed to show your intentions with her. Women get bored easily, they are not like men, they are not logical thinkers, they will pass judgement swiftly, this is why you must engage them emotionally ASAP even if its over a text.

If you wish to re-engage her, be sure to be prepared to ask her emotion based questions, you still have a shot, you must make your re-engaging text, just that! "engaging". The thing about texting is you are not in front of them so it's a very limited form of communicating, there is no body language and gestures within the communication, so your words must be powerful and pack a punch.
You could not be more wrong, never assume actions based on a woman's career, women are women. They are emotional creatures, you must trigger her emotions to get her intrigued.

You showed more emotion on this post then you did within your text, I suggest your re-engaging text should be exactly what you posted on here. " HB who is both attractive and intelligent is just my type"


Here is what i suggest you re-open her with.

You are both attractive and intelligent, just my type, I find you to be very intriguing. I must know, what qualities do you look for in a man?

If she responds, keep the flow going this time. Keep her emotions engaged. If she tells you what qualities she looks for, do your best to show the ones that you have similar to that. For ex: If she likes bold aggressive men, start to be more bold and aggressive with your statements, if she likes sweet romantic men, become sweet and romantic. Be sure to show your interest in her throughout. Be situational with your compliments. BUT DAMN IT SON! GET HER EMOTIONS OUT! this is the only way to have an effect on her. ( Ask her what she likes about kissing, where she likes to be kissed, has she ever kissed a total stranger, etc etc.

Your text messages should not be casual conversation as if you ran into a neighbour on a bus. It should be powerful and emotional based. You must get into her mind.

If the conversation starts to flow, and you got your intentions across, the moment you sense it dying down, it's time to cut it off, you must be the one that cuts it short and be sure to have in the least, planted the seed to meet in person. If not already have concrete plans to meet up.

Remember this is a woman you want to seduce, not some old lady that lives down the street from you. BE BOLD! you have nothing to lose.

Good luck.

_________________
Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

Got ya!

Hi SexAddict,

Thanks for such a detailed answer.


Yes, I need to elicit emotions from her in my texting. I will certainly try and do this next time. One thing though, in your example reply to her, you complimented her on her looks (“besides looking good” etc), I always thought you should never compliment a girl on her looks? Or does that apply more to when you meet a girl at a bar etc, and before you have number closed her?

Possibly, I was hoping the cheeky face at the end would show I was merely teasing her.
I will give this a go, and see what happens. After all, I have nothing to lose.

UPDATE.

Ok, after a 2 day gap I text her today pretty much the following:

Me: You are both attractive and intelligent, just my type, I find you to be very intriguing. I must know, what qualities do you look for in a man?

She replied back 15 minutes later with this:

HB: Thank you for your kind words and for being so generous and a gentleman. I am now in a strange place because of certain unforeseen contingencies and need to get many things sorted. However, thank you for taking some time to connect with me. My ideal man exists in fairytales. Have a super weekend. Smile.

My initial reaction to this was WTF lol. I’m not quite sure what to make of this. What would you reply back with?

I was thinking of a no bullshit approach, something like:

“So u don’t believe ur ideal man exists? Ok, I would like to connect with u even more, a drink next week me and you...”

she only text you back to be polite. No attraction there. She ended the conversation.

I wouldn't take no shit, I do believe that some girls you do need to sweep them off their feet like an alpha. I would say either move on. Or show her you have some balls. "Im a living fairy tale babe. Im only going to ask you once as im busy, fancy going for a drink next week?", something down to the point, just dont act like a bitch.

Hakuna - Do you think you could give an example of some good texting? I appreciate your posts and trust you for getting me in a good mind set.

_________________
Law of Attraction

1st text normally, not in kiddy SMS speak, you have a QWERTY kb don't ya?

Hi, nice meeting you on the train yesterday is okay. Polite but too formal, callback humor referencing something you did is much better. Asking for her name can be interrupted as kinda creepy here, you are better off giving you get full name and asking her to put it into your contact list. Are you an academic or a novelist, do you have a reason for asking? is this going to further the conversation? I don't think so so it's just bad.
She responded to your text but because you didn't lead well it just didn't really go anywhere.

You are forcing a bad topic and not leading anywhere.
same. bad topic, not leading but your last text is especially bad. Your forcing this conversation but now your turning it around and blaming her for saying stuff, you are playing too many games and it's confusing her. You are coming on too strong, what things did she demonstrate to you that warrant such a brazen move? Then you go and do the same mistake again. Ask her more questions.

Here is what you should do. When you get girls phone numbers your game plan should be a quick light conversation and then ask them out. TEXT WITH A PURPOSE next time.

I'd have segwayed the psychologist/mind-reader bit into a role play with her making it full of sexual inuendo and other shit. "I can tell you're an adventurous chick who is sensual and completely embraces her sexuality..." (rough but you get the idea).

^^^^Listen to what this guy says too, one of only a few guys on this board who actually knows his shit, rather than spouting verbal diarrhea from some PUA ebook he read.

you think thats a good way to re initiate a stale convo? You sound like an Indian mobster trying to solidify an arranged marriage

In my opinion any re-engaging comment/text should be bold. But in this particular case, he never initially showed any intentional interest. Why beat around the bush a second time?

To get the reactions you want from a woman you must strike a chord, you must trigger an emotional response. He did that and got a response. It may have not been the response he wanted but it was effective. He now has an idea of where she stands. If he wishes to continue pursuing her, he now knows exactly where she stands and how much of a hill he may need to climb.

If he chooses to text her again and to keep being persistent, she knows exactly his intentions, if she continues to reply, he still has a shot.

_________________
Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

bold != creepy