Dealing with with girls you know likes you but still trys to put you off?

Basically Iv know this women a bit for a few months, she's a friend of a friend sort
of thing and we're on each others facebook etc. There's been a strong feeling of attraction between us right from the first meeting. Its obvious to everybody observing that there is attraction between us but she's the shy slightly introverted type.

The first time I met her we got talking and had a discussion on our own with slight had holding and touching but no kissing. In the end she went home in a mood about something which was nothing to do with me. After this I tried initiating a conversion on facebook with overtones of arranging another meeting but she basically shut the conversation down so I just left it and moved on.

Bumped into her again at the weekend on a night out, I went over said hi, had brief conversion then just left it that. Later that night I end up in another bar and she comes in with her friends, I just sort of ignore this but I catch her looking over a few time so I figure she's still interested and go over.

We end up going to a club together basically just me and her, we hold hands and have conversion but no kissing again. She basically tells me how she's been hurt in the past but would grab a chance at love with the right man etc... and how she's never had to chase a guy but most guys she meets shes not interested in bla bla

During the conversion she came out with stuff "You don't want to waste your time with me im a bit messed up in the head". You don't have to wait with me at the taxi rank ill be fine on my own" as if trying to put me off but then still showing other signs of interest. Do you think these were just shit tests or self doubt on her part?

I know I probably should have escalated to kissing in the club but we are both in our early 30's and I feel to old to be doing that sort stuff in public lol.

In the end she gets a taxi home and I forget to even get her number. I message her on facebook to make sure she got home ok and she responded positively but has blanked my next message.

I figure im as well messaging and just saying something like:

Hey I meant to get your number the other night.. but do you fancy meeting up for a drink?

But Iv got a feeling she will come back with some answer either trying to put me off again or some kind of friendly thanks but no thanks type message. Even though she is attracted to me.

How should I deal with this? Come back with a cocky funny response and if its still a no go just let it be?

Game other girls.

Also, if you're not willing to escalate at all just because you're out and about, it will be much harder to get a woman. Escalation is probably the most important thing you can be doing. As for her flaking? Well, if she was as interested as you say she wouldn't flake. So find new options, better options.

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These hos ain't loyal

Dude you fucked this up as far as I can tell.

Too old to be kissing in a club? Fuck that, you should've been the man and kissed her then and there. Do you even want her?

She was most likely disappointed that night that you didn't make a move on her.

In my short experience, whenever a girl starts talking about what she's looking for, who she is, etc., things that you may even NOT want to hear, just stay calm, and say, OK cool. No more needs to be said.

She wanted you. Who cares if they were shit tests or self doubts? Maybe a bit of both, but if they were shit tests, do you think you passed them?

I'm not sure you can save this now. If she comes back with a thanks but no thanks message, it's pretty much over.

This whole situation isn't about her being attracted but putting you off. It's about her being attracted and you not taking initiative. Remember that for next time. You NEED to be bold and confident and FORWARD. If you two get close, and you KNOW there is attraction like you knew in this case, all you need to do is say "How would you feel if I kissed you right now?" Pure mystery method, which I'm not a fan of, but it works. Or at least say "You know I think you're cute." Without apologizing. You need to make your statement of intent clear. She must know you want her, but at the same time know that if you don't get her it's her loss.

Good luck next time man.

EDIT: Also that facebook message was pointless. Do NOT send that message of "I meant to get your number." You didn't, leave it at that. She knows you probably wanted it, but now that you didn't get it, let alone didn't kiss her, I seriously think she will have second thoughts.
If you want to send her a message to test the waters, send something cocky/funny about something you talked about that night. Did you have an internal joke? Use that.

Pretty much you messed it up. She wanted u and u didn't have the balls to go for it. It sucks isn't it? Next time ur in a similar situation think about this and say fuck it i dont care about anything and kiss her.

Yeah I think your right, she probably was disappointed that night that I didn't make a move on her. I reckon I did pass the shit tests and I didn't come off as a pussy afc or anything but she probably went away thinking that I wasn't really interested.

Ill try and get her out for a drink but as you if I get a knock back Ill just move on.

Well I kinda made fun of some other afc guy who went up earlier in the night and declared his undying love for her. made it out to be sad and pathetic which she agreed with and laughed at. Thats only real jokes I can think off.

Edit infact here is the actual transcript of our conversation after the point she went home:
sent that night:
Hey mrs, hope u got home ok, felt bad about leaving u on yer own like that but your mind was made up..

Her response about an hour later :

Hey I'm home safe and sound, some kind guy took pity on me and let me in the queue so didni wait too long. thanks again for letting me tag along to city with you [:)]


I responded the next day with:

Cool, that was lucky, the advantage of being a lassie eh.. Tag along lol would hardly of called it that but you can "Tag along" with me anytime hun [:P]

She responded with:

Yeah was sooo glad when he said to just jump in front of him lol, queue was horrendous! Aww thanks, cani believe I went to city tho [;)] x

So still sounding positive at this point.
This is the point she blanked the conversation .....
I said :

Its not the venue its the company that counts [;)] had quite a good night..


Pretty much a good transcript of what no do ... lol

Sry to disappoint you but you did not pass her 'shit tests'. When a girl says she isn't ready for a relationship it means she is putting you in the friendzone and if u dont escalate u lose.

She wasn't saying she was not ready she was saying she was ready for a relationship.

Mate, do not listen to what all these lads are saying to ye, you havent messed anything up. Believe me I'd know.

Alright so lets get this show on the road and let me lay this out for you plain and simple. It's never to late. I won't even bother about lecturing you much on what you could've and should've done because I know that that would not be helpful and you are probably looking for some direction. so here it goes:

From what i understand this girl is kinda playing you. Not in a bad way though she just knows that you're not going anywhere and therefore doesnt seem to make an effort to spend time with you if that makes sense?

Also facebook is horrible in terms of the pick up world but if you must then make sure you leave your messages very short and to the point. But now you've obviously already tried to make contact and been "blanked" (which believe me has happened to me before aswell).

Okay so what you do now is do not respond to her or make any attempt to contact her whats so ever for sometime. Then i need you to continue with your life, you need to party and be sociable and game. Try your best to have photos of these events and either you or your mates can upload the pics on facebook. I know this may seem silly but if she does like you/ or has an interest in you she will almost always go to your page, even if its just once, just for a sneak peak to what you're doing without her and when she notices that you are able to do your own thing without her or the need of her company she will want to start making an effort.

Even if she doesnt, its irrelevant cuz you've had the opportunity to get out and get your mind of the chick thats just playing mindgames (as all women do). Alright so when you feel comfortable i want you to send her one inbox saying exactly what you said. "Ay listen, i'm going away for a couple of days for this party trip ting wid some mates, but it'd be cool to do something again when i get back. I meant to get your number last time we spoke but had other things on my mind. Gimme your number for now and I'll give you a ring sometime when i get back. chat soon, cheers x."

If anyone disagrees with that please feel free to add your 2cents but it has worked for me several times and if you read it carefully it has everything you need, an opener, a false time constraint, a demonstration of higher value and a number close all without making it seem like u are to much whether she does or doesn't reply making you seem in complete control.

Good luck mate and i hope this advice helps you out as its helped me in the past.

Cheers,

Haminator

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Thanks haminator I was almost ready just to forget the hole thing and just move on but what you said makes sense. I did fuck up on the night there is no doubt I should have make my move but I don't think its totally game over just yet.

it isnt. you got this. dont worry i have faith but please PM me your results. Am quite keen to hear what happens next....

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Tr@veler you were spot on with your assessment.

I ended up just sending a message to test waters, asked if she was interested in going for a drink which got the predicted thanks but no thanks response.

So I figure fuck it, its game over now anyway and respond with:

I'm good ....seemed pretty obvious to everybody that we both liked each other, guess im just too reserved at times lol. But your saying your not interested so ill leave it at that.

Ill catch ya around , you and your friend are pretty cool in a friendship way [Wink]

which promptly got the response of :

Ah ok.. No sorry didn't realise I'd gave that impression, just thought of it as being friendly.

Which of course was total BS from her, All that looking over, leaving her friend going with me, and talk of who she was and what she wanted etc...was not the impressions of a girl just being friendly!

So i just answer with :

HAHA friendly really? come off it lol Anyway Its cool

and that was that.

Obviously this has gone way beyond the point of no return now and Ill be lucky if she even speaks to me again even in a friendly way lol

Do you think my last messages came across as needy?

You were spot on with you assessment of the situation Tr@veler can I ask exactly what you have been reading as I need to get my skills back. I learned all this stuff over 10 years ago and had quite good success for while. Always used the David D style natural game. Ended up pulling women I would never have thought possible. Ended up in a relationship with one for 5 years but eventually lost all my skillz kinda been in limbo. Its still in my head but I just don't seem to act on it like I once did.

man don't beat yourself up about this, you got needy, it happens, this seems like an issue with approval seeking and most likely a lack of abundance, you simply care way way too much, your goal is not in your mind, instead you seem to be concerned about what she thinks, and if she likes you, rather then if you like her, and trying to fuck her because that is what you want, rather then what she wants (you're playing to not lose, rather then playing to win)

and yes, that last exchange was fairly needy, she brushed you off like most girls would at that point, when you have options with guys why would you be patient with a guy who doesn't move things forward? as you saw by that ''afc'' at the bar, plenty of guys will move things forward no problem, even though girls participate in group think and she humors your HAR HAR look how pathetic that guy is, type of speel, chances are if she met a guy like that alone and found him attractive, she would sleep with that guy (as likely he would move things in that direction), while being the strong ''alpha male pua'' that doesn't escalate, gets you no where fast

but don't beat yourself up over it man after all there is a possible fix to this problem, this game is not done yet, although you possibly really fucked yourself in that last exchange due to being needy about her, but it is still worth a shot

cant-read-this-girl-so-complicated-or-i ... tml#636632

check this post, it describes why you got the friend zone, and what you have to do in the future if this situation happens again, also, go pursue other girls, and give her a good month without seeing you before you try to introduce the new you (if it is even worth it to you at that point)

Here's the deal. You are not a PUA. You are not even an rAFC. You are just a 100% AFC - an average, frustrated chump who happens to have heard of the game.

You will most likely not get the girl; that's the bad news.

The good news is, you can still get good with women in general. Read the stickies on this forum and go from there.

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Why Men Suck at Sex (fun read) - LINK

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Super tough love right there.... you tell it how it is Aiyisha hahaha!

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