| reaction seeking, qualification, compliance
reaction seeking- things that come at you at random, possibly rude comments, maybe overtly sexual comments where she is saying things to see how you react, best way to deal with these, are don't let things that she may say have a huge impact on you, dismiss her frame when she is seeking a reaction
her:you're so gay
me:gayest gaylord ever to win a gay contest, you jealous of my gayness?
her:I think your friends ass looks good
you:you should tell him to strutt for you
(point is don't get all emotional about it and have reactions like it means something to you, adopt the attitude, that nothing she says or does is a big deal)
qualification- girls are like little fact finders, they want to figure you out so they can see if you line up to their checklist of a perfect man, when they see too many things that don't line up, and you congruently do not have the potential to become what they want, they will lose interest in you, best way to handle her testing out what is congruent for you, is to not let her know what is congruent for you, by selecting what tests you take and what ones you don't, key words what ones you don't
her:how old are you?
you:guess
her:you want me to guess high or you want me to guess low?
you:are you not a random guesser, kind of girl?
her:what kind of car do you drive?
you:a rocket car
her: no seriously
you:lets not talk cars, lets talk about pickles, man... I sure love them, AMIRIGHT?!?
compliance- between two people, there is always someone who is more dominant then the other, that person puts in less effort to do what other people want, and when you start doing things that people want you to do, you sort of grow a tendancy to become comfortable doing what that person wants, if you reverse that logic, people will also become comfortable with not getting their way from a person, if that person is not compliant, they notice what is congruent for that person and accept that personality as ''normal'', the more compliance you request and the less you give, the more the frame is set to the affect of, we do what this person wants, keep in mind there are different levels of investment and compliance, getting someone to check out a funny youtube video on your fun requires alot less compliance, then getting them to cut their arms off for you (sex is somewhere in between)
her:buy me a drink
you:go buy me a round first, then I'll get the second one
her:come here
you:say please
most of these tests are handled by dis-guarding her frame, you can address them by, ignoring the test, re-framing the test so it looks ridiculous, or just testing her back without taking her test
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CHAT
