Hi
how can I be detached from the outcome?
you know how in the world cup the 2 teams are doing penalties and there is so much pressure and the outcome of one penalty can mean the difference between winning and losing the world cup? In these cases, there is so much pressure that the best players who are usually very good at penalties end up messing up.

That is the kind of pressure i am dealing with. When I am about to talk to a girl, the outcome is so important to me so I get scared and mess up.
How can I stop giving a crap about any one girl?
Please, I hope the answer is not "approach as many girls as possible" please guys, say something more specific.

I had the same exact problem long ago. I was very good in everything that I was comfortable with but once I started to think about the outcome things used to get messed up. You asked a really good question how does a soccer player not feel the pressure from all responsibility and outcome of his action. Even though this might seem very difficult but it's really easy.

Right now you think that whatever you think you are. Meaning that you are your mind. But is that really true. No it's not. There is you and then there is your mind. But your mind wants to have as much control as possible over you so it makes you believe it's you. Next time when you have a thought imagine as if your an outside observer looking from above. You look at yourself from above and see everything about yourself. Where you walking. Who's around you. Become conscious of what your doing and everything around you and be in the present moment. Once you will do that you will feel your "real self" and you will see your mind as a separate entity. You will observe it like an outside voice in your head. Don't try to argue against that voice just accept it and observe it. I got this all from the Power Of Now it explains it in more detail. Good luck!

- Amazing Art -

_________________
"Experience is the teacher of all things"

Its inexperience (so your imagination is running wild) and its your attitude/mindset. There is really only so much that can happen when you approach a girl...she likes you or she doesn't like you. If she doesn't like you that probably will be embarassing, you overcome that by knowing your value...but it can still happen that you have to sacrifice your feelings. However, sometimes you just don't want to take that risk...

confidence should solve your problem...

If your soccer analogy is the way you think about your current situation 'talk to more girls' IS the only option.
Let me explain: When in a world cup final a soccer player shoots a decisive penalty stakes are incredibly high. It's heaven or hell. Glory or failure. Being a hero or a complete loser. The pressure on that one shot is enormous. Because it is the ONLY shot a player can take. I repeat the core: The only chance.
In real life you have endless world cup winning penalty shoots. You can shoot until you win. That makes you should not worry about one shot.

What you feel inside is emptiness because you've got love to share whilst no girl wants your love. All you can do is work yourself and work your lifestyle. Life is to the ones taking the shots. Because what happens when the soccer player misses the world cup decisive penalty shot? He gets cries the same night, gets himself together one week after, stands up tall two weeks later and is prepared to take the next important penalty shot three weeks later.

Finally this: hold your head high at all time. Take failure like a champ.