So I've been reading about game for over a year now and I understand it's theory's and principles though I'm still learning the best ways to use these new skills!

So I'm in a relationship with a HB9 and things are going ok after 3 months. I've kept the neediness in check and tried to remain the person I was at the start. Seems to be working so far but I'm the first to admit that it's taking all of my knowledge gained and a lot of counter intutitive tactics from me! For example remaining aloof, not texting much and not investing more emotions than her (that's a tough one for me as sometimes I'd like to just admit how much I like her).

Now I'm in the position to be close friends with a few girls who met guys at the same time as I met my girl and they tell me all about the workings of their new relationships!

Here's the thing...all these dudes are making the biggest AFC mistakes such as declaring their undying love before the girl, texting morning till night (sometimes 3 times in a row before they get a reply) always being free and generally being very insecure!

This is essentially the mirror opposite of how I've been! I even feel like me and my girl are a bit cold towards eachother compared to these couples! Me and my girl see each other twice a week while these other couples of the same length see each other 5 times a week!

I've asked the girls straight out if they found the texting a bit needy and they thought it was cute?! I'll admit that it's slightly rocked my frame as they are being successful with the tactics that never worked for me! What gives? I'm a good looking guy and these guys are not brad Pitt, so it's not their looks!

Also all of the couples have had an argument to the point of a near breakup while me and my girl have been very stable. This gives me a bit of comfort.

Basically I've got the feeling I'm doing something wrong and I need you guys to either confirm that or talk some PUA sense into me!

Keep in mind 'game' is generally designed to get the girl, not keep her, even though some of the same principles can be used even if in a slightly modified form.

I think the main thing you need to think about here is what do YOU want, rather than comparing yourself to others, set your own standards. If you want to see her more, find a way to make that happen. If you want to text her more, do it. Etc Etc.

Work out what YOU want and then go from there.

I agree. Game is about getting the girl...but aspects of it can bleed into making a relationship work.

First off, looks don't really matter but it's a bonus. How are these guys keeping such AFCism with these girls and you can't really depends on the girl. But let me tell you something,

It's not an admirable quality...some girls even use it against a guy without realizing it after they've been dating for a while.

Real talk. Plus, the fact that the girls said they find the AFC behaviour "cute" doesn't mean this is the actual effect it has on them. They're hardly going to say they are unhappy in their relationship after three months are they?

Notice that word cute...it doesn't exactly connote a powerful alpha type figure does it? More like a safe, beta option.

Yea I've found out that if I deviate from my initial aloof ways that I lose the girl fairly quickly. I think it's in my nature to be a nice guy and to be very attentive but if I show my true self the girls take too much power and will lose attraction!

I guess I just get annoyed when I see people be successful while making mistakes that Ive spent so much time and effort in conditioning out of my system. Makes me wonder if I've got my tactics right? I mean at the moment I'm not comfortable at all in expressing any "love" emotions towards my girl as it often seems to coincide with the loss of power on my part.

Show your love to her...but realize the key is in making each bit of 'love' and attentiveness a gift.

AFCs hand out their love like free candy. Ask yourself...what did she do to really deserve it?

In direct game and indirect game, this principle holds very true. You aren't telegraphing love right away. I sure as hell revert to Mystery Method when I know its turning into a relationship. I give her love only when I feel I'm getting some back...you know?

Her looks just don't cut it for me. I'm not going to love a girl for her looks or her shitty attitude.

If your girl is talking to you...ask yourself: is she contributing to ME?

It's not about being an asshole or not showing ANY love whatsoever as a power move.

It's about mutual love...

There we go; that's your money sentence right there.
Basically it sounds like those other guys are the girls bitches to put it flatly; cute isn't a word you want to be called, being a puppy dog to a girl is "cute", being a true alpha male bulldog isn't "cute"
So if you go up to a girl, do everything she wants, pamper her with love and buy her everything you can; she is alpha isn't she, and she'll see you as another "pet" in her collection, and you'll never EVER be seriously considered as LTR material
That's because the guys are getting tired of being "used", 'toys' get broken down and sooner or later realize how badly they screwed up; they ask their "girlfriend" "what are we?" and the girls don't have a answer, because they're just stringing the guys along to milk their feelings out of them.

You're not screwing up dude, hopefully you'll realize this by this sentence

_________________
To game at your best you have to be willing to do your worst.

That was a good post!

Though what do you do if the girl is emotionally guarded by nature? I mean she actually admitted to me even before the first date that getting any feelings out of her was like getting blood from a stone...she even said "just to warn you".

Both her parents where police and never showed much emotion

I get around this by really jokingly saying the most corny soppy lines with a cheeky grin though I'm actually half serious! This makes her laugh though I wonder if she picks up the hint that it's actually what I'd like to say.

To some level, girls are very different. I couldn't compliment this 1 girl I was with cause she associated compliments to this 1 stalker guy she went out with 1nce and he literally was stalking her.

If she tells you I'm not an emotional type of girl, it is a fucking fair warning and she's being direct. You have to take this into consideration...she may not react to your words of love...you just may have to accept it as a reality.

Nature vs Nurture who knows. All I know is you're spending time with her, you're having fun with her, and you are being cocky + funny (essentially thats what banter and witty humor is).

To some level she may realize when you say those cheesy lines she's reading the message, but the funny of it allows it to not be serious.

Your right about the break up part! I was chilling with one of the girls when the guy did the whole "what are we" panic! He threw the toys out of the pram in an epic fashion that night! The funny thing is I was the one who was typing the girls responses on her phone lol! She was asking for my advice so I worded all her texts. Totally destroyed the dude and he backtracked so damn fast.

I asked what she was feeling and she said that she really really liked him and saw him as majour LTR potential but he was on thin ice! I thought that would be him gone but he seemed to talk his way out once I'd left! He's quite manipulative...I could tell from his texts.

It's funny but thinking about it...if she did suddenly open up and voice her feelings I bet I'd lose a bit of interest as the challenge would be gone. The challenge is what attracted me in the first place and Im not sure I'd want it to be too easy!

Thats not to say it won't infuriate me from time to time lol