I dated this girl for almost four months. We basically had a year long's worth of relationship in that time. When I first met her I had my stuff together, I was in shape, confident, I was dating another girl at the same time, I worked hard and went to school. By the end of it I had become jealous, mopey, depressed, paranoid, neurotic, I had gained weight, I had slacked off in school and wasn't being responsible at all and had developed a drug addiction. So she left me. She said that she cared about me and that I needed to figure things out on my own and that I wasn't ready for a serious mature relationship. I know she's right. She agreed to meet me in three weeks to see if I'm more like the old me and said we'd go for coffee as friends and take it from there. But she said she needs time and space because she's supremely pissed off at me. I told her I was clean and then a week later put myself in the hospital from a drug overdose over a fight we had. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Do you honestly think if I get my sh*t together and honestly do have it together that she'll take me back?

Dude? Drugs are bad. Never do drugs again. Gettting clean is more important than pussy. This is your life! THis is your life! Never do drugs again!

step 1. get your shit together. that's your only goal right now. don't do it for her, or to get her. do it for yourself. i'm sure you'll be amazed at what happens as a result.

You sound like you have an addictive personality. Not too mention extreme insecurity. You are basing the need the change your life around the fact that you are trying to get a girl to like you again so you will feel better about yourself. You should feel good about yourself no matter what, without the approval of other girls, that is the foundation. Drugs and alcohol will in no way make you feel better about yourself so you need to cut that shit out right away and get into a gym and start living healthy and you will notice how your mind will start operating a lot better. Get your thoughts off one girl too, there are so many single hot women out there waiting for a strong confident guy to come along and sweep them off their feet.